h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

and you can let
it go. Then, boom, the apple is tested and isn't near as toxic as before thought. Now the
room is full of people, some of which are looking at this apple, and you are wondering if
you truly don't want the apple, or if you are still beliving your old lies. You also
wonder if the apple wants eaten, and if so, by who? Then you realize that you are thinking
about an apple that has caused you a lot of headaches, and you wouldn't have the guts to
eat it anyway. Plus it is a frickin apple, on a table, that isn't meant for you. Give
it up and move to the oranges already. But the oranges aren't as appitizing. Maybe you
aren't hungry after your small snack before dinner. Let the answers come, because
cahsing them in this case isn't going to do much good. But that was the wrong answer last
time. Should you stick with the same answer, or go to the last one that seems right?

Well, I'm tired now. Have to try and enjoy and excessively screwed up weekend. Should
prove very interesting.


5-1-00

I don't believe that there is any set pattern in behavior that won't be broken at least once
in a person's life.

I managed to equate love with disaster in a discusson with a friend. I was saying that love
is not just one magical state that you are in for an undertermined amount of time. It is
something that changes and is re-evulated very often. I have also said that change comes
out of disaster though. Change is the adaptation to that disaster, and an attmept to keep
that particular experience from re-ocuring. So, love is disaster. Damn, we are on
masochistic species.


5-9-00

I was walking at a moderate pace on my way home from something that had really
gotten to me. The stars were not visible through the clouds, nor was the moon. The
darkness was visible, for it was so thick and intrusive that the trees disappeared just a
few feet beyond the road. Distant thunder shook the ground, and the air had a charge; the
wind was blowing every direction at once. Even in the chaos, all was quite, except for a
distant growl. The growl was deep and drawn out. The thunder subsided to this growl.
Running was my first instinct, but I learned that following instincts isn't the best plan of
action in most situations like these. I simply kept walking, avoiding finding the eyes of
whatever could be lurking in the darkness. After several fearful moments had passed, I felt
that I was in the clear. Again I was moving at a normal pace and the sky was clearing.
Now the road was giving off a wispy steam, which flowed off into the brush, unstoppable and
unconscious of its surroundings. Up the road another mile or so, three sets of green eyes
were peering into the darkness that still shrouded the other side of the road. One or two
would flicker when the moment felt right. As I passed they all dispersed, making no noise
as they fled. Now I was at my driveway. The wind was gone and the moon was out. The
darkness has submitted to the power of the light emanating from the moon above. The fog had
also found better places to exist, for it was thinning. At my front door, I turned and
walked back into the night.



5-13-00

Boredom strikes again.
Taken to webhelp baiting.. Point in doing so is to figure out if you are talking to a real
person, keep that person talking as long as possiable, and trick the person into having a
conversation with you. It can be very funny. So far Joe is the best at it. He actually
has gotten them to get angry and show other out of the norm responses. I will dedicate a
section of this site to that activity when I get the ambition.

Today is Saturday. At noon I am going to go terrorize Lewiston. Should be fun.

Right now I am trying to remember how I got such a big scratch on my watch face. It is
annoying. Distorts the part of the screen that shows what month it is. I guess I should
find some silicon line fixer, to fill the scratch.

What else?

Have a chem presentation on Monday. I think I will just make it up as I go. Probably will
still manage to get an A on it. Wouldn't matter if I didn't I don't think.

Going to a Creed concert the 6th of June. Should be pretty cool. Will be the first concert
one of my friends has ever gone to.

Remind me to buy a mother's day present while I am in lewiston..

It is amazing how much I have learned in the last few months. It was like a whole different
life since around december. I know now how much I don't know. That can be summed up to
about everything. That is with a little rounding. Dosen't bother me though, because
everyone I know is just as ignorant. Just kind of "ouch".

I have been watching people a little more recently, just out of boredom. I think I have
found the ones who I want to get to know better, aka I don't understand them. That is a
major driving force behind who I am friends with. I don't like talking to the many
"transparent" people that there are. It isn't very interesting. Knowing what they are
going to say before someone says it makes life very booring. So, as I said, there are some
interesting people I have just got a chance to start to talk to. It is very exciting.

I have also just kind of given up on being lonely. I don't even notice any twinge of a
feeling of loss, or emptiness. Very good. Maybe I am done being a pathetic sap. That
means I am finally "better". That is a good thing. Means I am in control again. Also
means that I win. Don't know what I win, just know that I do. Don't ask, just a random
sensation that I got.

It truns out that some very odd/bored/wired people do read these rants. I don't know rather
to feel sorry for the ones who bother to read all this crap because they are that bored,
pathetic, or just lifeless. Just kidding, I know that the real reason you
read this is to find out when I am going to go postal, so you can avoid me..

I was just thinking, my computer hasn't crashed on me for a few days!?!?! I'm running
windows 98, that is just shocking.

WELL, (deep subject for shallow minds like yours) I guess that is enough for now. I am
tired of typing, and have too much I should be doing (but I am not going to do it).

-erik
[email protected]
"The order is bob, phil, george.. then jake"


5-16-00

Arg. I hate most people, and I again remember why. On average, people are stupid. They
may have redeeming qualities that some feel the need to look for, but not I. So one that
line of thinking, I hate you probably. But don't feel bad, because my opinion dosen't
count for much. In the long run it is completely worthless. So hell, stop reading this.


5-18-00

The life of Jack McFinny was a short but purposeful one. He was born in the
dark of night one a hot summer evening. The wind was blowing hard that night,
and the air smelled sweet with the scent of lilacs. He came into the world screaming.
Even before he saw life for what it was, he wanted to be put back. At the young
age of one, he had already accomplished much. Jack burned down his family's
old house and learned just how fun matches can be. He also managed to electrocute
himself and his dog; the dog died in that unfortunate incident. At the age of
ten, he understood the meaning of life; blow things up. Napalm had been fun
for burning things and making pretty flames, but one can only burn so much before
boredom sets in. Something more was needed; for the smell of gas had become
nauseating. Nitroglycerine, C4, and anything made with ammonium nitrates were
now the items of choice. Anything with an explosive velocity of less than 5000
feet per second were no longer fun at this juncture in his life. The ten years
Jack spent perfecting his explosive mixes were great fun. He could now harvest
C4 crystals by the pound in just less than two days. Life up to age 20 had been
quite entertaining. The heat that came off of some of his explosions was so
intense it would force him to rub his arms to find if they were still attached.
When one has such an outgoing attitude towards life, even large explosions became
less thrilling. The bright glow of the fire rushing in every direction from
an innocent looking device lost its effect after hundreds of such events. He
was bored again. Trees, rocks, stumps, and local billboards were all too easy.
Now a challenge was wanted, no, needed. What could he destroy, though? When
choosing between malls, state buildings, schools, or dams, which would make
the best target? At first he thought taking out a dam would be great fun. Standing
on the high ground while millions of gallons of water surge down, sweeping away
all of the clutter of modern life; now that would be grand. Seeing the faces
of the hundreds of people as a wall of water approached without any means of
escape or salvation would also be quite amusing. All they had worked for and
all they still dream of being snatched away in an instant. Then they would realize
their lives were not measured by what they were afraid of, or what they had
accomplished; what they were doing at the moment is the all important factor.
Enjoying every moment of this pathetic existence should be the only goal. They
refuse to admit that they can both be happy, and plan for the future, but this
single act of destruction and violence would prove that. A school also seemed
like an interesting target, but he felt the children should be allowed to learn
from the mistakes of their elders. So a school wasn't a very appetizing choice.
The bitter-sweet taste of accomplishment doesn't come when thinking about the
destruction of such a location; lucky little kids. Government buildings didn't
offend Jack very much; he has never seen the government as much of a threat.
Jack doesn't want to be a poser, so the government is spared for the time being.
The only other choice Jack had left was the mall. As more of the public is beginning
to believe, malls are evil. They are one of the biggest blisters in our society
today. All of the brainwashed Americans walk into a mall, wanting to get their
deals on Nike and on their Sony products, then proceed to indulge themselves
by eating the most unhealthy "foods" known to man. Given, it is nice to be able
to buy all your needs in a small location, but the effects of malls on society
were more than just obvious, they were distracting. In the end Jack knew the
choice fell between the dam and the mall. Up to the time of his death, he still
didn't understand why he chose the one he did. Maybe it was a greedy need to
clear such a blemish off the face of the land, perhaps he thought it would teach
people a lesson. No matter: he chose the dam. The mall would just have to wait
for another day. The dam wasn't really that tough of a target, being old and
worn out. The cement that kept the waters back no longer seemed apt to do so.
Five one pound blocks of C4 positioned in key locations should do the job and
then some. It is always better to overdo something than to have it fail. During
a night identical to the one on which he was born, he brought the C4 and timers
to within just feet of a door leading into the dam. There he buried it all in
a black garbage sack. He knew from a week of observation that in just two days
there would only be one security guard working the whole site. Then he could
place his explosive friends. Until then he could finish examining the blueprints
of the dam, deciding where best to place the C4. Exactly two days later he returned,
this time equipped with bolt cutters and a flashlight. The last time he was
here, he couldn't see well enough to even locate the outline of the hills on
the opposite side of the valley. The lock on the door made a seemingly loud
metallic clank as it hit the cement below. The inside of the dam was much larger
than it appeared on paper. After a few minutes of gaining perspective upon where
he was exactly, Jack had managed to locate each of the water drainage pipes.
He placed a package in every third pipe. The timers were all set to go off in
exactly three hours, right after the sun had risen. Jack hopped into his Jeep
and drove as far up the hill as the road would take him. Then he hiked to the
peak. There he sat down and waited for sunrise. His binoculars were waiting
for the moment in his lap. He knew exactly what he was going to do. Watch the
explosion, then focus on a person in a parking lot or a driveway as the water
rushed towards them. The sky was getting lighter by the minute. Just then a
voice from behind requested him to stand up. Jack was so startled by this he
not only stood, but jumped up. A large man in a plain gray uniform was pointing
a gun at his chest. Jack immediately remembered the detail he had forgotten.
Almost all federal structures have cameras monitoring them. He had been seen
entering the facility, and placing the explosives. He was quite shocked. How
could he be so stupid as a high school loser who couldn't even succeed in a
simple act of cruelty. This was the biggest oversight of his life, and he knew
he had failed. Still, he needed to see the results of his work. In an instant
he lunged for the gun, and was shocked to find a hole in his chest where there
had never been one before. Moments later he was dead. The workers of the dam
were evacuated except for a few brave men who were desperately trying to gather
the explosives and remove the timers. All but two had been disarmed. The one
in the middle of the dam was being pulled up on a makeshift hook as they both
detonated. The wall of water that came through the valley was amazingly beautiful,
much more so than Jack could have ever imagined. The helpless trees and houses
in front of the wall were swept away with shocking ease. Every house in the
town below was gone, and nothing more than mud and debris were left covering
the empty ground. The under-funded dams below the one Jack destroyed couldn't
withstand the amount of water that rushed to them. One after another, just like
dominos, the dams burst.


5-20-00

I see way too many phoneys in a day. Why can't people figure out that this life is much
more enjoyable if they are just their selves? Sure, maybe this person won't like you, or
maybe you will piss that person off. Who cares? If they don't like you for who you are,
then yoiu shouldn't waste your effort on them. Find people who actually give a rat's ass
about you. Sure those people are scarce, but hell, better than living a lie.

Also, what is up with this excessive politeness crap. If you don't like a person, tell them
so, or ignore them. I feel that politeness when it is underserved is just another form of
lying.. It is dishonest, and a large waste of energy.

Um, on another unrelated topic. Summer is nice. If only there wern't so much hanging over
my head at the moment, I would enjoy it.


5-21-00

Deceit. I understand some forms. At least the ones perpertrated against those who aren't
respected by you. I can't thing of more than a few times where I actaully deceived a person
for personal gain, and none of those were very harmful. I am more honest now, but don't see
anything wrong with the way I handeled the situtations of past. I would never deceive someone
I call a friend. Leading friends to believe one thing while doing another is just wrong.
How can you call them a friend if you can't be trusted to not be honest? You can't.
That leads into another thing I have been meaning to rant on for a while, flakeyness..
there are way too many people in this world who change their minds about things way too
much. I can understand a sudden change of heart when presented with proper evidence, but
to repeaditely flip-flop is annoying. That kind of ties into deceitfulness i guess. These
people may not be changing their minds much, just presenting infomation in filtered forms
to manipulate others for personal gain. Totaly dishonest. Something that bothers me.

Ah, the annoying personality trates we all share. Now I again, again remember why I dislike
people.


5-29-00

Well, tomarrow I go take the CompTIA Network + certification test. Should be fairly easy.

Got the chance to examine an interesting situtation recently. Too mature to date girls who
are in grades below your own (there are always exceptions, but they are rare), don't like
most of the girls in your grade, and don't have a snowball's chance in hell with the girls
in grades above. Really sucks.

Also am watching someone else fall into another relationship, seeming aginst the will of
said person. Of course it is very borken due to the fact one party lives somewhere distant
from other's location. And all this very shortly after said person just got through
expressing dislike of dating, and plans to avoid it for extended period of time. I would
normally try and claim to be the only sane person on the face of the earth after mentioning
such a fact but, I can't do so in this case. I myself don't quite know what I want yet.
Just going to let time do what it needs, and hope the end results are positive. Have options
that need weighed. Four to be exact. None of the options are any of your business, but I
quite need to type them out in some form to help me see the full perspective. The first of
course is to be reclusive and deal with the emptiness, which isn't really that bad. It is
very comforting to know you are the only person you rely on. The second is to try and
rebuild what was lost, but that isn't really an option because the weight of failure and
of the history that follows it. Plus there isn't anything wrong with the way things are at
the moment anyway.. If it isn't broke, don't fix it. The third is to persue a new goal.
Maybe the gamble would be fun, maybe it would pay off, or maybe it wouldn't. Don't quite
feel strongly (or strong) enough at the moment to bother with this one. And the fourth, and
really just thrown in because it is an option even though it isn't going to be figured in, is
to accept what is given to me freely, even though it goes against what I currently want or
believe. It wouldn't be using a person, because it is what they want, but still would be
completely wrong because it isn't what is wanted. So, after all of that I have just gone
back to the start. Time is all that will help. Some day I may be where I want to be, but
not given my current situtation. That meaning I don't have a clue where "I want to be" is.

where you
are going is are going is
where you where you
are going is are going is
where you


well, enough of that.

the sky is cloudy and the rain is coming down, hope all of you silly people who like rain
are happy...


6-3-00

Just killing time at the moment. Seems as if though everyone sucks. Want to do something,
but either get ditched, ignored, or turned away. Oh well, f**k you all. I will just sit
here and make an attempt at being productive. Well after typing this that is.

Family members annoy the crap out of me. They seem to want to walk into my room and chat
with me at the most inconvient of times. Then I lose track of what it was I was intently
working on before the inturruption because my memory sucks. Oh, not to mention they have
a habit of reading messages as they come in..

Been in a bad mood recetly. It is going away, but I see no reason for it to. Then again, I
see no reason for me to be in a bad mood to begin with. Bout the only thing I can even come
up with to explain it is the state of the relationships around me. That is a pretty weak
answer for a selfish person like my self though. I would say I feel cheated, but I really
don't. I would say it is my current status as single, but I don't think that is it either.
I guess, bah, no point analyzing something when there is nothing to analyze.

I do see things happening amoungst friends and others around me that I don't approve of. I
have no right to do/say anything about it, but I am in a little more of an aleart mode
because of it. Feel a small obligation to watch from the shadows just incase things turn
out for the worst.

Walk On By because of Something In The Way.

Spending 50$ on printer ink is sure hard on someone with no fixed income.. Guess I should
try and find some more putter work.. Can afford someone, and that is the baseline I don't
like falling below.

I'm bored as hell at the moment. Can't quite think of anything productive to do. I think
I will go on a hunt for interesting/entertaining things to do in small towns now...

and the world runs from you, the faster you run towards it.
-erik


6-4-00

For some reason the clock in my car says 6-6-00. Really confused me.

I had more I was going to say, maybe write a short story, or maybe tell what I am thinking
at the moment, but I realize that I can't write, and what I am thinking isn't improtatn, or
worht typing, or anyone's business. On that note.
Gdnt,
-erik


6-8-00

Went to Nickelback, Sevendust, Creed concert. It was good. A little quiet, but that didn't
hamper it at all. Sevendust put up a very good set.

I have several friends who say I am depressed. That got me thinking about it. I am not
depressed, I am simply not enthused by everything going on around me. I may not always be
happy and/or giddy, but I am usually content.

Guess I messed up with another friend. This is my final appology. Was a mistake in the way
I read things.

I've been posting rants since 2-26-00. Today is the 8th of June. That means I have only been posting these little windows into what ever I am thinking at the moment for less than
4 months. It seems like so much longer than that. I have learned so much in these last few
months I was believing thah I had been ranting for at least 8 months. I have gotten some
mail from complete strangers about these rants, I have received compliments, flames, and
some other random comments. I really like the random comments. Send me some more at
[email protected] please.

My rants have pretty much clamed down as well as my life in the last month or so. I don't
know when I will type a new one. I haven't had any ideas that I haven't already typed in
one form or another for quite a while. I am wondering if this is another section of my page
that is just going to slip into obsecurity, or if I will find a way to keep updating it w/o
the utter nothingness that it contains now. We will all see soon enough.

-erik


6-9-00

This sums up some of what I have been saying about where america is going.. and then it
goes farther. Give it a read, I may just be correct...

Posted by JonKatz on Thursday June 08, @10:38AM
from the games-and-prophesies dept.
A few years ago, the pen-and-pencil game "Shadowrun" would have seemed an especially
geeky fantasy. In the Corporate Republic, it looms much larger, both a warning and a
prophesy. Many of us are Shadowrunners now, many more are going to be in the 21st
century. Fifth in a series. (Read More).

"It's been forty-nine years since our world changed almost beyond recognition...As a people,
we innovate and create for money rather than the pure pleasure of bringing something new
into the world. Rather than using technology to improve the lot of mankind, we've allowed it
to separate us even further from each other." --- Shadowrun, Third Edition.

It's the dystopian future of 2026. Criminal subcultures flourish. Megacorporations have become the new world
superpowers. Executives and wage slaves hole up in heavily-fortified enclaves, while beyond the gated walls,
enormous throngs of outsiders fend for themselves. No longer mere flesh and bone, many people have turned to
the artificial enchancments of "cyberware" to make themselves something more than human, something other than a
machine.

Shadowrunners are the individualists who live on the margins, able to "slide like a whisper" through the databases
of giant corporations, spiriting away the only thing of real value -- information.

No wonder so many e-mailers, in response to my series "The Corporate Republic," urged me to get the
"Shadowrun" handbooks. It's jarring to come across this increasingly plausible vision of the future. In this
pen-and-pencil role-playing game -- part improvisional theater, part storytelling -- science fiction once more
mirrors the contemporary imagination and foreshadows what lies ahead.

Intentionally or not, Shadowrun is much more than a game. It reflects the attitudes and values of younger,
technologically-centered Americans. It may also project their futures, at least of the ones who are individualistic,
creative and discontented. How ironic that young gamers have sensed for years (the original Shadowrunner rules
were published in l989) what journalists and politicians still keep missing -- that life for individuals gets rougher by
the year here in the Corporate Republic. That a handful of megacorporations are becoming powerful beyond
anyone's control. That individualism is not only growing more difficult, but one day soon may actually be
dangerous. That this creeping reality has been a role-playing exercise for brainy kids for more than a decade is an
amazing thing.

"Shadowrun" is as much a political manifesto as entertainment, a social and political fantasy that feels increasingly
prescient. Shadowrun's creators saw the growing power of corporatism ( the forces of evil are dubbed
"megacorps.") They grasped its inherently amoral nature, its wanton invasions of privacy, its embrace of
technology and co-option of politics and culture; they anticipated the marginalization and isolation of individuals
who don't want to go or get along.

A lot of the people reading this are already Shadowrunners, or are about to be. For Corporate Republic
renegades, life is increasingly an adventure. Like the Shadowrunners, our lives are inextricably entwined with the
megacorps, our personal histories a string of confrontations and close encounters with the powerful entities that
dominate the world. Like the Shadowrunners, we face a lot of personal and moral decisions about how we live.
We might want to make money or challenge corrupt authority. Or, once we get a few "runs" under our belts, we
may wish, like the original Shadowrunners, "to find a lost love," or avenge [ourselves] upon a corporation" that did
us dirty. Perhaps taking direction from wise and experienced gamemasters, our goals and expertise will become
more focused and coherent over time.

The connection between individualism and Shadowrunning is irresistible, if you let your imagination sprint for a bit.
Individuals already shadowrun all the time in the current Corporate Republic. They grow up, using technology few
of their peers or authority-figures understand or approve of. Routinely hunted down, at least in the cultural sense,
they get accused of obsession, addiction, lack of social grace, even, increasingly, of murderous tendencies.

Everywhere they go, from their first arrival in most schools to their struggles in the workplace, they are confronted
with inverted values, with the corporatization of culture, the pressure to conform, to shut up.

The turning point, recounts the Shadowrun history, came during the "Apocalypse" (l999-2010) when two
Supreme Court rulings "set the stage for a world in which megacorporate octopi call the shots and use
shadowrunners like so many pawns in their games."

Here, too, fantasy and fact converge. The turning point for the modern real-world corporatism came in the l980s,
when government decided to de-regulate many industries at almost precisely the same time as new marketing
strategies and technologies were exploding, arming business with the ability to mass-market, monopolize and
globalize.

With government more or less out of the picture, and technology advancing rapidly beyond the consciousness of
politicians or journalists, it was open season for corporatists, many of whose companies have grown wildly
beyond anyone's expectations.

What's really remarkable thing is that Shadowrun was written before Microsoft sotware was in more than 90
percent of the world's personal computers, before five companies owned virtually all the radio stations in America,
before AOL/Time-Warner became the largest information entity in history, and before