h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Tried to go to bed early last night, but was kept being woken by drunken girls screaming and walking past in their clippy cloppy heels. I'm quite a light sleeper so I'm not that surprised, in fact I am programmed to wake up at about 1-2ish as that's when the drunks usually hit the street outside my room, and then fall back asleep again, (that is of course if I'm not one of the party people myself). Last night also featured what sounded like an entire rugby squad singing "Flower of scotland" all in different keys.