h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

First, I was at a grocery store. I was a poor college student and had no money, but I was going to try to buy groceries with my credit card. I knew it might put me over the limit but I was hoping it would go through anyway. When I got up to the register, I realized the woman in front of me had accidentally taken my wallet and left me hers. I didn't know what to do. The man at the register told me to just go ahead and pay with the other woman's credit card and pay her back later because I was holding up the line.

Then, I was at an art exhibit. I liked the etchings, which had some kind of political significance. I don't know what. Again, I had no money, but I was still looking at the t-shirts. The saleswoman showed me one with an etching on it that I didn't like, and I was asking her if they had the one I liked. My companion pointed out to me that we were late for something, so I said nevermind and we hurried out of the store.

Next, I was at a bridal shower. The wedding had already taken place. The bride was very young, and she was still living with her parents. She told me that she would be living with her parents during the summer and with her husband during the school year, but they still got together sometimes on the weekends. Again we realized we were in a hurry and rushed off.

We were coming into a downtown office building. It was early in the morning and the building was still quiet and empty. We came to an upper floor conference room where a mixed group of people were waiting to hear the verdict. We arrived just in time to hear that the Catholic church had just put a woman to death for heresy. Everyone was kind of down about it, but noone seemed to think anything could be done. I kind of just took the news in stride.

We rushed out of the conference room because I realized that it was 8:30 and it was a 2 hour drive to the studio and filming was supposed to start at 10:00. I started taking my shoes off (they were some kind of platform-hiking-boots), so I could walk faster. I got one shoe off just as I spotted Tom Hanks. I said, "Ooo Tom's going to be late too. They can't start filming without Tom," but before the words were out of my mouth I realized that Tom probably wouldn't be driving to the studio. He probably had a helecopter or jet waiting. So, I ran to catch up to him...hobbling along with one shoe on and one off.

"HI," I said.
"Hi." He didn't recognize me. His tone of voice said that he didn't feel like signing autographs and hoped I wouldn't ask because he didn't like to be rude.
"Are you filming today?"
"No." He was still using that tone, but after a short pause he said, "Are you?"
Aaaaah! Recognition.
"Yeah." I hobbled along beside him for a moment while he politely tried not to notice my shoe situation.
I pointed to my companion. "Don't mind him," I said, "He's only a little nuts. He won't hurt you." I leaned in closer and continued in a stage whisper, "Unless you call him 'Mommy,' but that was only that one time..." I feigned a serious look.
Tom's brow furrowed for a moment, then he laughed at my stupid joke. I was in!

What followed was a bizarre conversation full of jokes about dorm food and college life. He referred to me as a medical student. I was so happy he remembered I was a student that I didn't correct him about the "medical" part. Finally, I stopped, took off the other shoe and ran off with one shoe in each hand. He was still looking so I did a little dance step and waved my shoes at him. He smiled and shook his head before walking away.

I thought, "Wow. Tom Hanks talked to me! He really seemed to like me. I bet I'll really get discovered now. I wonder if I should ask to borrow his helicopter..."