h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We cant grumble about accommodation we have a new concrete floor that’s always dry, four walls that are painted white, and a sheet-iron roof the rain drums on. A fan blows warm air beneath our feet to disperse the smell of chicken-s**t and, on dull days, fluorescent lighting sees us.

You can tell me if you come by the North door. I am in the twelfth pen on the left-hand side of the third row from the floor; and in that pen I am usually the middle one of three. But even without directions, youd discover me. I have the same orange-red comb, yellow beak and auburn feathers, but when the door opens and you hear above the electric fan a kind of one word wail, I am the one who sounds loudest in my head.

Listen. Outside this house theres an orchard with small moss green apple trees; beyond that, two fields of cabbages; then, on the far side of the road, a broiler house. Listen: one cockerel grows out of there, as tall and proud as the first hour of sun. Sometimes I stop calling with the others to listen, and wonder if he hears me.

The next time you come here, look for me. Notice the way I sound inside my head. God made us all quite different and blessed us with this expensive home.