h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Joanna Pricess, I wish you were right!

I think everyone should try both ways, and decide which is best.

You know, it's quite possible that there are poly people and mono people, just as there are gay people and straight people. Perhaps it's folly to expect everyone to feel comfortable with a single way of being.

Looked at it in this light, Wonko suggests the equivalent of trying sex with members of both genders just to see! I imagine quite a few people would answer that they already know which they prefer, thank you very much.

Yeah... you may be right on both counts, Fragilis
right now the concept of my getting anywhere near being in a polyamorous relationship fills me with revulsion...

Last week I had about the feeling, that if this one bloke I knew would ask me to have sex, I would have done it. The moment I thought like that lasted 2-5 Miniutes (you know how difficult it is to decide on things like that) and then it was over. I though ... ah, no, I don´t think it would be that fun with HIM after all... but... I would never have thought I might feel that way for a second, if you´d have asked me some time earlier...

Its the relationship part, though... ...thats what puts me off, completely...

So the sex part doesn't bother you as much as the relationship part, Joanna? I know you would like to get married in the traditional sense.

It's interesting. I was justing thinking about how older people act with a lot more revulsion about gay sex than younger ones -- on average, mind you. Different people are still different. But I think part of the accounting for this is that older people feel a conflict between what they were taught when young and what they are seeing now. Young people have grown up knowing that homosexuality exists. Very young ones may have caught gay people kissing, holding hands, etc in the media or around them.

Perhaps they seem less bothered because they have been exposed, and therefore don't see it as terribly unusual. The straight kids growing up today seem very comfortable saying, 'It's not for me. No thanks.' They certainly don't get revolted if you ask them whether they've considered it.

Like Englander. He hit on a situation which was quite unusual for him. But he didn't hate himself for thinking about it, or get sick worrying that he might suddenly be a different person than he was before. He took it all in stride. Hurrah! More people should be so good at remaining calm and level headed.

The exposure to and awareness of poly relationships today is about zero. If you're not in one, you may not know anybody who is. I think a lot of poly people are closeted, too. The mainstream has no idea how more than two adults handles taking care of the house, grocery shopping, and watching the kids... much less the sleeping arrangements.

I don't know. I hope I'm not coming across as insulting or anything. I'm just kicking around thoughts. This has turned out to be a very interesting conversation.

Joanna, I'm a lover and admirer of women and I've been watching them closely for many years. What I think I have observed is that women are going through phases depending on their age. This gives men a tough time, because they tend to have it the same way regardless of their age. Polyamory turns off women who are in the age of seeking a stable and monogamous family to raise their kids, but attracts them when they are older and they want more from life then just one man and the kids. I have always strived for a stable and lifelong solution, talking my then young wife into polyamory, and after years of suspicion she finally is convinced that this way to spend the life was the right one.

Yes, I really thing everbody should try both lifestyles and both sexes! And I think there should be three ways to decide: I do like it, I don't like it but tolerate it cause it's good for my partner, and I don't want it anyway (which hopefully nobody chooses to do).


Engländer, it's good to see how you handle the situation and that you have the guts to write about it here!