h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Me and my comrades at my junior high school were having a game of tennis during out physical education period. It was a bright and sunny day outside (about 22 degrees celcius so it wasn't too hot) and these girls I was having a game against said that we remind them of babies without hands because we kept on missing the tennis ball when it was volleyed to us. Of course this made us upset to we called them backwards crabs because when we did hit the ball it went over their heads and they'd waddle up to the ball and attempt to hit it back to us. This crab/baby controversy went on for weeks. We even made up clubs to do with this. I was elected as the leader of the Backwards Crabs and we made up little clicking handshakes to de whenever we were to greet another crab. I was thinking about this for quite a while and realized how immature we were being calling eachother crabs and babies without hands. If there is anyone out there who could come up with ideas for other groups describing how much we suck at tennis, I would be quite happy to hear from you. Thank you.