h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi.BGND here,just wondering if anyone's seen ted.he broke out of his jar,i left the room for 10 minuites and when i came back,the entire thing was in pieces...well,uhh...if anyone's seen him,tell me...he kinda likes to posess people,though...i'm such an idiot...well,if you see him,let me know...bye.
-the bad guy who never wins

*in xanthippi's lair*
see i told you we could do it. BGNW is so gullible. Well how did the corruption go?
"exactly as planned great one"
now remember I created you to worship and serve me with no possibility whatsoever of you turning on me. I see servatude but no worshipping...
"yes oh ace one, i worship you lord of all you survey. Please spare me from your wrath light of all...uh...masters."
teheehee

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
now,ted,kill her!!!!!!!!!!!!*thinks:i can't believe she fell for that!*
"yes ,master!gladly!*attacks xanthippi,kills her,only to discover that it isn't her,but a decoy*it appears that she has escaped,master..."
Xanthippi:*emerges from shadows,holding her scyth*You thought YOU could kill ME?!
BGNW:no,i didn't think he could kill you.i just wanted to get you to com out from the shadows,so I could kill you!*attacks xanthippi*
Xanthippi:*kills BGNW easily,then goes after ted*TRAITER!!!!!!!

Narrarator:with BGNW dead,what will happen to ted?

*end of episode of whatever show this is*

BGNW:i can't believe i killed myself off just for a dramatic ending...

-the bad guy who never wins

So gullible. Ted into the far reaches of my domain.
Ted:what
H**l, genius.
Ted:oh, right away, shall i also turn up the heat a bit down there, the d***ed will be getting cold if the temperature is a mere 190 degrees, won't they?
yes, fine. And check on BGNW. Make sure she gets through registration without too many difficulties.
Ted:yes oh master of high repute. I shall do your bidding.

umm...i just noticed you said something about you creating ted...i think we may be talking about two entirely different demons.ted is in his jar right now...and he can't be in two different places at once...so,i think your ted is a completely different demon than mine...
"yeah,i met that guy...he's really an idiot,ya know...just a mindless slave,pathetic,really,compared to me..."
see?besides,what does yours look like?

Well he is sorta blue right now. Hunched over, long nails, um skin like clay. uh...yeah. That's ted.

nope.not my ted.
"yeah,i'm really cool lookin'.all the female demons love me."
no they don't,you idiot.you're almost as ugly as...hmmm...actually,you might be UGLIER than HIM...ah!yes!you're almost as ugly as peanut over there!
"WHAT?!?!?!?!I am NOT almost as ugly as xanthippi!!!!!!"
fine.you're UGLIER.
Xanthippi:hey!you can't say that!i am NOT ugly!
yes you are.
Xanthippi:no i'm not!
are.
X:not!
ARE!
X:NOT!
NOT!
X:ARE!
ok,fine.you ARE ugly.if you say so.*cough(idiot)cough*
X:Hey!Cheater!
hmm...did i really just win?
X:*zaps herself with magic wand and suddenly becomes beautiful*I AM NOT UGLY!
*sigh*guess not...

-the bad guy who (almost) never wins

You can't say what i say
Ted:that's right
silence minion, and you can't use my clones to say what you want me to say either....or my lookalikes.
Ted:and you can't use me either.
shut UP ted.

your ted is dead.

Ted? Teddy? Ted!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!

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XANTHIPPI'S TED IS DEAD.

-BGNW

Yes. I'm finally free of ted!

Am i in a cage in this thread? I don't think i am so i better put an enchantment on myself to keep me out of any cages. Hmm how did that one go.
host stros strilia
bower houst afilia
filia couts nicht lava
bower houts forgava
houst stros stros stros
wait, that cursed you!! oh well.

*ted puts xanthippi in a cage*
*xanthippi bites off another finger of ted's*
ted:"WHY YOU LITTLE-"
shut UP,ted!!!!!!!!

-the bad guy who never wins

*steps out of cage because the door hadn't properly closed before ted got his hand close enough to my mouth for him to lose a finger*
Well that was fun. kbe sure to call me sometime.
*exits room but leaves two small black disks on the table. One disk has numbers flashing on the screen counting down*