h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Parties are wonderful and diverse things. They range from formal dinner parties, to the rare but beloved ones that end in wild orgies, to the lonely ones where you just watch tv.
But I am here to talk about your first parties. These parties usually happen when you're 12 or 13. I am now experiencing these parties for the first time. For I am 13. In this entry, I want to list the guidelines and tips for your first parties.

Throwing these parties:

You should let the invitations spread by word. For if you send out invitations, your party will be denounced as tacky and lame.

You really need to invite 16, 17, and/or 18 year olds to provide transportation for your friends.

You should make sure beyond a doubt that no parents will be there.

You need to stock up on liquor like it's 2999.

Plan on people staying til dawn and drinking 2-15 beers (if you will serve just beer).

You might want music.

Food is good (chips, dip [of numerous varieties])

Invite the most popular (plus maybe a few losers out of sympathy).


Going to these parties:

You should probably bring a beer (you might not be able to get in if you don't).

Get a ride with a TEENAGER.

Convince your parents that noone will drink.

Bring 2 rubbers.

Make sure beyond a doubt that no parents will come at any time.

Look good, but casual (if girl, dress very little).

Prepare for worst case scenario (fight or everyone barfs... then maybe fights).