h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was just sitting here listening to some ani difranco music. A lyric that just really hit me was, "life just keeps getting harder/and it just keeps getting harder to hide/the darker it is around me/the easier it is to see inside."
Anyway...life has been interesting lately. I just keep hitting that glass wall with my parents. I think they'll be okay with something and then-BAM-out of nowhere this babble about not reaching my full potential comes and knocks me to the ground.
Stage crew is going quite well though I wish I could be there for more sessions (for reasons, see above). I'm actually getting nervous for the performances-not really for the actors-but for me up 20 feet on the catwalk. that should be interesting. There was something I was going to say before. Oh well. lost that train of thought. I hope I can be in the musical next year. stage crew is fun an all but it's kinda disconnected. I wanna be out there on stage. I like dressing up and playing pretend. I get to be someone else for a few hours. maybe even wear something that shows skin. quelle shock.
My brother has been annoying me and it really hurts. he's the only one who knows my parents and doesn't have the immediate urge to say "oh, they're sooo cool!" or to tell me that I look like mom. I mean, they're not bad people but i just wish they would get off my back. But to do that I have to get good grades and make them trust me. To do that I actually have to work. But when I work when *they* say I have to work then I'm just unproductive. When I'm unproductive then I don't get my work done. It's a nasty cycle.
I'd also like my privacy back. I want to be able to just do what I want to do without calling home and asking mommy's permission. I'm 16 and a half. i can make my own damn decisions! I know what I want.
aaaaaaaaaaaack. I really need to calm down. Think-tomorrow: bring sleeping bag to Benj's, go to school, blech, deal with that shit, do crew, get in touch with my feelings and my parents feelings with Dr. Sherry, come home, be akward, do homework, go to sleep. Friday: deal with school and then....Seminar!!!! who knows? maybe I'll even get some. wouldn't that be nice? Then I could be happy for a while. Not like booty is the only thing that makes me happy it's just one of those big things that makes me happy. oops, 10:00--time for bed.
nighty-night