h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, 'nother business trip to New York/New Jersey. Got upgraded to business class for the transatlantic flight for the second time, but sadly not the third - so THAT'S what it's like flying economy? Yeech.

Bit of an ambivalent trip - learned a great deal from our US colleagues, but the trip was tinged a bit by the fact that between arranging it and actually going, it was announced that the factory will be closing by the end of the year.

Got a good old time walking around Manhattan again, though. It's like some kind of theme park. I know it's not representative of the rest of the country, and there's a LOT to recommend it - but I'm glad to get back to the UK.

So many impressions, but sadly the lasting one was from the passport control queue coming into the UK. HUGE queue of UK citizens, of course. One family of Hassidic Jews from the US, who of course waltzed straight to the front of the space for non-EU passports. Now, most reasonable people in that position would think "gee, I feel a bit self-conscious here not having to queue, better keep my head down". Strangely, however, both Jews and USAians are stereotyped as not really being like that. Wonder why.

So this bearded, ringletted, ridiculously hatted idiot looked around at us saps queueing to be let into our own country, in a loud, braying voice announced to the room in general "Sometimes it pays to be American."

Sometimes you can sense what a room is thinking. And right then, 200 people would cheerfully have opened the valve on the gas chamber.

SoRB

Ah but he's not American is he? As far as I was aware all Hasidic Jews regard themselves as 'Children of Israel'.

They're American when it suits them.

A shame you didn't shout back: 'So, says the tw@t in the hat'.

Technically speaking there was no valve involved. The best known was pellets from a tin can that were dropped down a chimney. But the most common was exhaust fumes of one sort or another. So the phrase really ought to be, "Gentlemen, start your engines."

Sometimes it pays to be Merkin
But mostly it's a pain;
Those who come east often wish
To turn straight home again

At home they're sweet and gentle
Except a brass-necked few;
And those are just the ones you meet
Here in the old EU.