h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Last year, I was registered with an internet dating website. Successfully, as it goes.

Anyway, before the successful bit, I did have contact of varying degrees of intimacy with a number of women. Some via email only, some in person, etc.

One of these ladies seemed oddly reticent about going on an actual date. We exchanged a few emails, had a few long telephone conversations, but it just never got anywhere. I wasn't particularly bothered - other irons in the fire and all that. Then one day I noticed her profile had gone, so I dropped her one last email saying something along the lines of "if you've found the one, well done, if you've just given up, fancy a drink?". I got no response.

At least, not immediately.

This morning - a full NINE MONTHS after sending my last mail to her - her reply turned up, having been sent last night. It was two words long. The first word began with f and ended in k, and the second word was "off". Which was nice, if a little terse...

So I answered. I thanked her for the chuckle it had given me, I said I was very glad I hadn't met her, and I sincerely wished her good luck in finding someone who could make her happy, or at least a bit less rude.

And thought little more of it. It's a sad fact that the majority of women on internet dating sites really are actually very rude and ignorant indeed, so this kind of thing didn't necessarily come as a surprise.

But then, development! An apologetic email! From a MAN! From a man identifying himself as her FIANCE! Oh, hang on, and another! This one from her! Priceless. Apparently they'd had a stupid argument which went too far, leading to him sending me an email from her account (how does that even happen?). They get married next week. I am not making this up.

Needless to say, I graciously accepted their apologies, thanked them for the laugh they'd both given me, and wished them the best for the future.

Sometimes I do think I must be the only sane person in the world.

SoRB

That's brilliant. Certainly make me chuckle, anyway.

Same here . Start building that inside-out house, you know the one... Call it "Outside the Asylum".

I'll paint the toothpick instructions on a sign for you...