h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Humanity Is Doomed

Posted May 17, 2000

In my opinion the Human race is doomed. The UFOs are real. There are
too many sightings for it too be explained by hoaxes and mass
delusions. At this point I’d like to point out that the aliens found us and it’s not the other way around. Now please observe that in the
history of man when one culture found another, the one that had the
least technology generally either ceased existing or only barely
survived. The civilization which found the other was generally the more technologically advanced. They found us.

Were they too prove hostile, we would run into several major defensive problems. Firstly, the Extra-Terrestrials would have a major technology advantage. Secondly they would be more accustomed to warfare in three dimensions where the majority of human warfare is based in 2D. Thirdly, the farther out you expand a defensive net around the planet Earth, the more defensive structures you need. Next you run into the problem of where to put defensive fortifications. The only four places that make any sense are the moon, Mars, the asteroid belt, or an orbiting space station. The first three are completely useless, because the Enemy can completely bypass them by coming in from certain trajectories.. The fourth is so expensive and you’d need them in so high a quantity that they too would prove inefficient. There is no way to defend Earth. The only plausible strategy would be to attack the enemy planet, but we don’t know where that is. Humanity is doomed.

If they prove peaceful, then we will likely survive a good deal longer, but we are doomed anyway. First there is the possibility of alien infections and bacteria (No pun intended). This alone has wiped
cultures off the map. Next is the fact that the human species will use this contact as a crutch. By learning their technology from them,
rather than building it off work, the entire drive that pushes most of math and science forward would be lost. Human brains would slowly
devolve, to the point of cave men with technology, if it were presented too quickly in too large quantities.


You’ll note that there are two paths where humanity survives. The first is that the aliens don’t announce their presence, and observe till we feel more comfortable with space travel, because by that time, we will hopefully have figured out as a race what is going on. For them to do this would imply that they are peaceful, which greatly enhances the chances of mans survival.

The second path also lies down the peaceful lane. If they assume the
roles of teachers, rather than givers, they can more quickly bring our race up to their level without destroying us. There are inherent
dangers along this line however. If every teacher on Earth was an
alien, than they would be able to manipulate emotions and loyalty from preschool through college. Down this path, we survive but may be
enslaved. This is, obviously, not the optimal course for humanities
survival.

If they were to attack us, it would already have happened. If they were to announce themselves to us, it would have already happened. Therefor, they must be following the first path.

It’s also possible that they have been going down a combination of both paths. By not announcing themselves while teaching us, humanity grows faster, while preventing them from going too fast. Were the aliens to demonstrate knowledge that no-one else on this planet knows, they would be singled out of the crowd, making them much more likely to be discovered. Also, humanity doesn’t know it has a crutch, therefor they cannot depend on it and become vegetables.

The aliens have already violated the rules of the first path by letting themselves be seen. The second path has not come to pass either however, implying that either the aliens have not thought of it, or they have a better Idea, or it has been the actions of a few select individuals who have been tampering with the plan. (As in the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams).

What this signifies so far as I can tell, is that the alien culture is indeed human in many aspects. Overall they try to do the best thing for any “lesser” cultures they encounter, though some of them must be part of a separate political party or some other kind of resistance.
Therefor they must have separate minds and not a hive mind. That means they must have some form of government. This would either be some form of democracy or a monarchy. If it’s a democracy, then the
Extra-terrestrials will follow the chosen path to it’s end, or decide
to follow the second path, but they can not choose to attack us after
staying away for so long. If it’s a monarchy then we are safe only
until a warmonger with expansionist tendencies occupies the head post.

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Latest reply: May 17, 2000