h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The weather has been so lovely that I've dug out my sandals. While bare legs obviate the difficulties of getting my socks on (a chore given to my granddaughter while I was visiting over Easter) they accentuate the problems of varnished toenails. I can manage the left foot admirably but trying to deal with the right foot seems to have become a comedy performance. Something needs to be done, though, as I have X-ray appointments for the knee and hip tomorrow.
My elder son has recently broken his ankle spectacularly and seems to have straight toes on HIS right foot for the first time since he was a baby. At almost 30 years older MY toes have always been straight and still are. Barefoot and flat sandal wearing years have added to the extra body weight and necessitated wide (and therefore expensive) shoes but it's only the hip and knee that need investigating: my feet are still perfect.

We are a very flat footed family (literally, not figuratively)

Treat yourself to a pedicure. The beautician will be able to paint your nails nice and even and nowadays you can get gels which last longer than nail varnish and look great.

I will go to the lady the other side of the square as soon as possible.
(My feet are not flat - that characteristic comes from the other side of the family. As I said: my feet are perfect!!)

I should hurry if you want an appointment - everyone else will have had the same idea!

WS don't forget to tell us how the pedicure went, I have often wanted to go but have very sensitive feet and don't want to run the risk of reflexively slapping or punching the person doing my feet.

I can still reach my feet - but when I was pregnant in the summer and couldn't I used to force to paint my toenails for me. It was a problem because of the punching issue (luckily he's used to it)

Slapping foot? Is a hand not enough for you, then?