h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's a little late to do this now, but maybe an idea for next year. I planted some broad beans in November (while still in London) and covered them with clear plastic laid over a frame to protect them from frost. Doing that gives them a head start and they're much more resistant to blackfly by the time those little buggers come along in the spring - the broad bean plants are too tough for them to sink their teeth into, while the ones that are sown after the winter and just coming up are juicy and fresh and susceptible.

Exactly, Venus November's the best time to plant garlic.

I don't think sowing bbs is too late, Gosho. I'd certainly give it a go. Plant them in pots, cover with fleece/bubblewrap. Then heat up the soil with black plastic over the top in March... and plant bbs into cuts in the black plastic two weeks after you lay it Cover with horticultural fleece to maintain plant temp and to keep off the black fly.

Hey Rich.
If you're thinking of growing onions, shallots, potatoes or garlic look out for them now. We're having a delivery of them next week, we've already got the potatoes in.

They're already in at the superstore up the road. We're planning to finish everything off tomorrow - I'm having to pay a mate to help out for the day - and we can then look for plants in the week.

We've decided to keep the trellis as Mr Gosho prefers it, partly because Miss Lainey trusts his advice , which gives me back the bed in front of the kitchen.

Yeah, I would tend to agree that broad beans about now will produce a good crop. Planting them too early gets larger beans, but you run the risk of losing some of the sweetness and flavour.

And you can't have enough broad beans. I puree mine with a bunch of basil, olive oil, garlic and parmiggiano and dunk tortilla chips in it like it's going out of fashion.

B

She's clearly a girl of some intelligence and nous

I knew that.

Which made all the more remarkable that she trusted your judgment.

What are the alternatives to the trellis?

B

I've got a bean frame up on the left as you come out of the lounge. The broad beans are already planted there - I got the variety Venus recommended by some mad coincidence. They should be ready to come out just as the French beans are ready to go in.

Well, I had to pay a mate to come and help us out today, but we've managed to get the garden more or less ready

There's still a bit to do; some parts of the trellis need treating, the bed in front of the kitchen needs digging over and there's a pile of rubbish out the back of the hotel that I need to take over to the recycling centre. But, particularly considering the state it was in on Thursday, I'm really chuffed with our efforts.

Lainey is having the bed under the trellis. I've edged it all off properly, and there's nothing in it but a clematis and a few bulbs that were starting to sprout up elsewhere in the garden. As I planned last year, this is going to be a flowery border. I'd definitely like to grow onions, garlic, beans and carrots; I'm also thinking of sweetcorn, broccoli and cauliflower. I will of course be growing a range of chillies and probably tomatoes and bell peppers as well, but I'll almost certainly grow these in pots and grow-bags (and possibly tomatoes in hanging baskets, too).

I just need to know how all this fits together, I think - try to work out what 'takes over' from what. Now the garden is in proper good shape, I can start to plan it all out in advance.

"Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn."
- Garrison Keillor

"I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. The carrot has mystery. Flowers are essentially tarts, prostitutes for the bees. There is you'll agree a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm young carrot."
- Montague Withnail

Is there any film more quotable than Withnail and I? Only Blazing Saddles perhaps.

Y'know, I'm coming around to the idea that good food and good drink really are better than sex... although all three would be nice

That would be pushing your luck, surely?

Well, if you've got the third you can easily fit in the first two, but not necessarily the other way round.

Ah, the wisdom of ages

I'm not entirely sure that you're being serious

Facetious? Moi?