Journal Entries
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Heartaches and smiles.
Posted Nov 16, 2004
I saw A again last night; I love it when I see her, and yet hate it at the same time. It's the ultimate in bitter-sweet! For all that the blood rushes to my head and my heart pounds, I know that what will follow will be a sleepless night and a feeling of longing the next day. Eighteen months or so down the line, and I still have the same feelings. I think she does too. But, for reasons that were eminently sensible all those months ago, we ended it. And yet, amazingly, we have remained friends. I just wonder whether or not she has the sleepless nights too, and whether she thinks of me in the same way as I think of her.
I've been hurt before, simply click onto the 'Broken Heart' thread in Wordplay - I think it's Wordplay - for a synopsis of that personal hell. But A never hurt me, when it ended she was perfectly honest and explained why it had to finish; for that truthfulness, I'll be forever grateful. I've nothing but good memories - I'm smiling as I write this - and I hope that A feels the same way.
Writing this stuff down really is therapeutic It feels like catharsis, if that's the right word. If it isn't I don't care.
My word, I feel a short story making it's embryonic presence felt. Where's that pen and paper?
albe.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Nov 16, 2004
Shallowness abounds.
Posted Nov 9, 2004
Ah well, that's the show out of the way. A good week was had by all, and the flu kept away. Unfortunately, on Wednesday and Thusday, so did the audience. Not to worry, their loss etc etc.
Now, to sort out this writing lark. A couple of ideas are whizzing around the damaged organ I call my brain, and hopefully they will slow down or rest awhile so I can formulate my plans and strategems for the short story I'm working on. I know that it's always best to just get on with it, but I really want this to be a good one, so I'll take care with every word and comma. Having said that, I'll probably scrap everything halfway through and start again. My drawing board has had more returns than Stagecoach buses.
I've been away from GW for a few days, and some interesting threads are on the go. Sad to read about Rod being banned, a true trooper who led the way for us scaredy-cats. I'll miss him, even though I never knew him. And that in itself seems strange; to miss someone when you don't know them or haven't met them, either in person, or on the site...so to speak.
There I go again, rambling and waffling when I should be working...God I do go on sometimes. It wouldn't be so bad if what I went on about had any relevance or importance, but it's simply trivialities and nonsense. I must discipline myself to have some brevity, some seriousness, and to stop the flippancy and flim-flam that is becoming a habit.
Ho hum...onwards and upwards as I keep saying to myself.
To anyone who reads this rather silly, shallow missive...thank you and toodle pip!
albe.
Discuss this Journal entry [6]
Latest reply: Nov 9, 2004
A typical male...sad to say.
Posted Nov 1, 2004
I'm beginning to suffer a cold, my throat is feeling sore, a headache is starting an insiduous paradiddle that I just know will reach a crescendo of Wagnerian proportions within a couple of hours.
If any female members of GW are reading this, I can hear you saying to yourself, 'Ha, typical male, the world ends just because he's got a sniffle. Lying on the couch doing a fine impression of a dying swan...for God's sake man, get over it. If you only knew what we have to go through...'
I can't argue with you, no-one suffers as I suffer, no-one can milk the last drops of misery that a slight headache causes the way I can milk misery. Enfeebled, I will, with a wan movement of my hand, request that you pass the TV remote control; or with a sad face and eyes that resemble the features of a whipped puppy, I will entreat you to bring me a cup of tea, that magazine/newspaper/book, or a bowl of chicken soup.
Oh yes, I'm guilty of all these things. A typical male in emotional blackmail mode.
However, in approximately...oh, let me see...five hours time I'll be on stage in a play. The nerves are fraying, well, shredded actually, and I'm dreading the thought that I'll have to go through this week suffering from an ailment that is beginning to resemble the early stages of pneumonia. There I go again, making a three act opera about a sniffle.
I shall let anyone who reads this know how I've suffered for art.
And now the ailing albe shall have to make his way, shuffling and sniffling to the theatre.
Bye for now.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Nov 1, 2004
Spring cleaning in Autumn.
Posted Oct 28, 2004
The good thing about this journal is that it's refreshing to be able to sit and write something...anything...straight away and not have to nibble at a pencil whilst waiting for my muse to pay a long overdue visit. Therefore, what I enter into this somewhat meagre tome are scrambled thoughts, opinions and whatever else may sneak into my head. A head, it must be pointed out, that is full of the hissing, venomous vipers that make up the everyday stress of modern living, and is bereft of the cooling sensation of inspiration.
But hey ho...someday my ship may come in, loaded with the cargo of ideas that will be offloaded by merry deckhands and given to me as a gift for my patience and foebearing in this barren spell.
This journal is beginning to resemble to incoherent ravings of a madman.
But not to worry...onwards and upwards, as they say.
I shall depart now, and get my mental feather duster out, and attempt to clear the cobwebbed recesses of the part of my mind that is meant to be creative...and indeed is creative, when it's working proplerly.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Oct 28, 2004
Idling along.
Posted Oct 26, 2004
Hmm...what to write today? I'm getting quite used to this journal lark, and I'm rather enjoying jotting down random thoughts, however garbled and weird they may seem.
This of course makes any self-excusing rubbish I may spout about not writing anything rather redundant. You know...'Well if you can find the time for your journal...'
Nevertheless, I'm going to keep this journal going. Perhaps rename it 'The Cracked Philosophies And Wandering Mind Of Albe The Idle.'
Or maybe not!
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Oct 26, 2004
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albe
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