h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Morning poem
How did you get away with f...ing
Where does that poem come from - I have taken the liberty of adapting it for my ESL students (I was looking for an exercise for it, its & it's) It's perfect

Ode to the Morning
(adapted – changed and not original)

Fill in the blank spaces with the correct version of it, its or it's

As slowly dawn breaks in the east,
___ peaceful, quiet and still
Until a little humming bird
Alights upon the sill,
___ sings ___song, divinely sweet
So shrill, carefree and gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Begin to slip away.
___ trills of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
___seems ___very chorus,
Brings up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Creep slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crush ___f ing head.

Hope you don't mind

But on similar lines

Seagulls

In Falmouth seagulls angered me.
Their ways I can’t abide,
I made them fish-paste sandwiches
With calcium carbide.
The greedy bar-stewards ate it all.
And once they’d all inside.
They’d soar above the yachties
Who therein did reside,
The sylph-like naked ladies,
Reclining on the decks,
Looked quite sublime with seagull slime,
Draped round their perfect necks.