h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Koshana,
My goodness me! There I go again! Every time I speak I seem to touch someone's raw nerve!
I know exactly how Canadians feel about being mistaken for Americans.
I have a cousin Sheila who emigrated to London, Ontario in the early 1950s, and she has gradually developed, unwittingly, a Canadian dialect.
She does not like to be mistaken as someone from south of the border, as she is from time to time when she comes to visit people back here in the UK.
Three years ago, in Paris with our youngest boy and his wife we got into conversation with a man and his Oriental wife of 1 week (on honeymoon). I even blundered then by asking him what part of the States he came from. He was from Winnipeg! And he didn't like my assumption! I apologised and we quietly slunk off about 10 minutes later. I got it in the neck from my whole family for being such a 'bumbly'.
By the way, we share that fact of Welsh ancestry. But I don't speak a word of the language.

I apologise, now, to you for the same blunder. It seems I never learn when to keep my mouth tightly shut!

f

This really is wonderful.

Pheloxi, ta for the dream-links. I'll have a look at them later on. Dream symbols can be very personal and are also related to the native language. For instance if someone grins at you in a dream, the meaning can be manyfold and may vary from the Dutch language to the English.

Please, hear me right. No offence intended.

I know...that is why I gave you google.com search result and just not one link...

Come to think of it, I cannot recall ever having met an American in or a Canadian in person. I've never met in person someone from South-Africa as well. Everything I know seems to come from books, films, newspapers and people visiting those countries.

Good news is, I do know some people from Krakow living in Utrecht, Holland

I met in real life people from
American, Belgian, Canadian (girls who were rady to bite head off for calling them American. I was in bus in England), French, German, South Africa and many more countries, I think.

AGH!

still I only have in Belgium, France, Gremany and England

I forgot Frieslan

Hi K,

What's made you turn that sickly green shade of colour?
Something you ate?
Can't quite grasp the reason you should feel so ill!

I'm getting myself in hot water all the time recently. Probably lost a friend (or two, or three!).
Tell me how I can make amends for my ridiculous mistakes, please.

f
By the way, as I said, most of my dreams are nightmares. Fortunately not very many these days. I've told my wife about this fact. She thinks it is something to do with my lifelong struggle with stomach problems and other traumas. She could be right. She dreams quite a lot even now, and usually, she thinks, just before waking up in the morning, because she says that she wakes before the best bit, in the final lead up to the denouement! I wonder what she has been dreaming about?
Fortunately, I cannot remember my dreams in any sort of detail.

Now, when I was a young man...!!

Pheloxi, him knowing so many people from different nationalities makes me feel envious. He even knows Frisians! Now, that's a hard thing to do.

No,no,no,no Frontierman, you worry too much. Don't make too many amends. If you think or feel you said something wrong or people misinterper your words just explain or say sorry. Then let it rest, cos if that's not good enough, and think 'Soit'. Be over and done with. For instance , it's not your fault that Canadians are itchy about being called 'American'. Have you ever been to Belgium? Now, that can be a hotbed! I've so many times put my over there.

Dear 'front ears' -- yes! yes! What Krabatt said!
(Friends aren't that easy to be rid of! )

No, never been to Belgium. But it's strange you should mention that. I had a pal at school called Duncan Wright, who had family in Belgium. There was only Duncan and his dad, also Duncan, as his mum had died having him. After he left school he and his father emigrated to Canada. I lost touch with him totally, don't even know whether he's still 'with us'.
Duncan used to say that the Belgians hated being thought of as Dutch or French, which is difficult for an outsider to understand when the Belgians speak these languages, and I think Flemish also. They love to moan on about such errors of identity. It seems to give them an opportunity to 'have a go' at anyone who falls into their little trap; which makes them feel superior to the unfortunate person who doesn't know the difference.

'They' say it's a strange little nation!
(Now, watch this space for a barrage of complaints from Belgian contributors!!)

f

Hello Michael,
Don't know how glad I am to see you're still speaking to me!

Couldn't get in touch because of the downtime yesterday.

We'll not mention Amer... that other place again, what?

What have you been up to today then m? Anything interesting?

front ears, man!

Avast, matey! (I'm not at all sure what that means, but I was feeling somehow pirate-y for just a moment there.)

Tell me this, though -- if we never mention Amer... that other place again, are we not depriving ourselves of a really easy target for humour, scorn and more than occasional expressions of utter disbelief?!?



I'm fascinated by the discussion of Belgium. Although I've only ever spent a few days there (2 in Brussels and 2 in a lovely little place called Bruges), I found everyone I met to be very welcoming and friendly. And the beer was pretty good, too!

But Michael, you ALWAYS see the best in people, that's a part of your manly charm; people will ALWAYS see you and be welcoming and friendly!

Avast their matey! ie: Stand fast there me old seadog! 'Bring aft the rum Derby!' 'Pieces of eight... (says the Macaw parrot)... Cap'n Flint's marker..' ( Notice, Michael, he was a very knowledgeable parrot, that one on Long John Silver's broad shoulders).

Ask me another; I'm good on nautical terms! Even on terms about the navy!!!

You have a valid point there, me old matey, if we never mention AMERIC..that place Columbus claimed to have discovered in 1492.. we'll have one less talking point. You wouldn't be able to relate to me your good experiences in the Unit... Stat..., now would you!
Let's put it on 'hold' for a while eh?

Frontispiece

It's a deal. As for nautical terms, you could easily put the entire sum of my knowledge of them in the bilge of a Lilliputian scout ship. (I only know what I've learned from the cinema, although I've always thought 'grog' seemed like a good idea.)

Aye, a flagon o'grog wid be veery nice reet now! 'Split the mainbrace, Bosun!'

I like the image of your 'Lilliputian Scout Ship'... it appeals!

Bilge water! Filthy stuff that, made up of all the human detritus + dirty sea water.. not such a lovely image, but a fact of life, eh!

Retiring to my hammock, now Cap'n Detroit, see you when th' sun's forrard of th' yardarm!

Ears forrard, me hearties!

Yeah, you're right. The Belgians are pretty cool about being a young country with three languages, Bruxelles being a French speaking city in a Flemish speaking county. They've got an amazing administrative system of which I cannot understand the intricacies. They speak fluent Dutch and switch into fluent French without a moments thought. It's pretty amazing.
Yes, the beer is fab. I cycled through a small village near Poperinge in the south of Belgian Flanders past a pub that sold St. Sixtus for 1 Euro!

Krabatt, in Belgium speak Flamish, French and German and a lot of them also speak English.

do not call Flemish language Dutch launguage, because that simular to calling Canadian girls American girls...

<hands Pheloxi a

But Pheloxi, Flemish is Dutch! Or you might turn it around Dutch is Flemish. The Flemish participants most of the time win the national dictee competition. The Dutch and the Flemish share the same 'groene boekje', put together by the Dutch Taalunie with rules for spelling that have been ordered by the Dutch and Flemish governments.

I read a sign going past a farm in Flandres: watch out for 'Gevaarlike hond' instead of 'Gevaarlijke hond' is either a mistake in spelling or written in one of the many Flemish dialects.