h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ooops! I forgot the divorce momentarily. You're right. You've been there before just under different circumstances. And I loved what your girlfriend said about the in-between time

So in that case, I hope you enjoyed your two Saturdays and two Sundays. We had a good time and Mr BB only spoilt the weekend big time on two occasions. There were other occasions but on a scale of 1-10 they are hardly worth mentioning.

Y&E are on Easter holidays now for a week and a bit and I have plans to see friends next week.

Have you been able to speak to Chris again? Like you said, keeping the communication open?

See you soon, x BB x

Being single seems a lot different this time, but that is probably because I'm twelve years older than the last time and so I know a lot fewer single people. Also, my ex-husband was (and no doubt still is) a total s**t and I was pleased to see the back of him. I've never missed him and divorcing me was the best thing he ever did (I still have the occasional nightmare about him). Chris, on the other hand, is a really nice bloke and I have really rather nice dreams about him.

My Easter weekend was very quite. My mother managed to restrain herself and didn't phone me. I exchanged a couple of text messages with my brother, but he and his girlfriend are very busy working on their house as they need to move in sooner rather than later (they are currently 'lodging' with her parents). I could do with a good gossip with my brother, but that will have to wait a bit longer yet. I think he is back at work next week, so I can bug him by e-mail. Last Saturday night, I felt very sorry for myself and more than a little lonely, but oddly enough Sunday and Monday I thoroughly enjoyed. I went for a long walk in the rain on Easter Sunday afternoon and it was great!

So what did Mr BB do to spoil your weekend? Or shouldn't I ask?

No, I haven't spoken to Chris again. I'm not sure at the moment whether that is a good idea or not. Might it not just prolong the agony to keep in touch with him? I got the distinct impression that he wants to move on and I don't know whether contact with me will allow him to do that. At the end of the little note he wrote me two weeks ago he says "if you do have any problems which you think I can help with, do call me." Whilst that does sound reasonably friendly, I can't help feeling that it isn't exactly an invitiation to call for a chat! I know that he is looking for somewhere to live and he did say he would let me have an address, so I am waiting to hear from him about that and then I will take a view on whether or not to contact him again. However, impatience is starting to get the better of me and I might just text him next week to ask him if he's moved. Also, I can't imagine what I would say to him if I did speak to him - the communication had broken down so badly between us (on both sides - there are way too many things I never told him) that I wonder if I could manage a conversation with him at all now.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rest of Y&E's holidays and we'll chat again whenever you have time.

Liz
~

Hi Liz,

A walk in the rain. How wonderful! And nobody to tell you what a stupid thing to do and nobody to worry about if your mascara ran and your hair stuck to your head

I'm in the minority in the married stakes. Very few friends are still married. Two of my best friends are divorced, one wedding I went to one was only married 18 months before us, and of the other two - one almost came to grief and one is still happily married. Among my not so close friends but still friends two-thirds are single and the rest are married. So the your comment about being 12 years older and having less single friends now does put a different perspective on things.

What a shame the lines of communication seem to have broken down. What about Chris's remaining things at your house? Did he take them that time he came for a chat? I don't know why, but I thought he still had stuff with you. I was waiting for him to come and collect it and then you telling me about another chat between the two of you. I've obviously got it wrong

We went quite a long way for not a very long time at Easter and I fell asleep Monday night before dinner and Mr BB really showed off in the hotel room. Bearing in mind that he had already been in the US for 12 days before us and had adjusted to the time change and when the three of us arrived at the hotel it was 3.30am the next day he really didn't like it. Mr BB called me selfish that I had fallen asleep and hadn't thought about dinner for Y&E. As it turned out, they were just as tired as me and they were actually in bed when I came too. And the next morning, there was a queue for an attraction that E wanted to go and see but because he doesn't have any patience and didn't really want to go to this particular thing, Mr BB made her cry big-time. It was heartbreaking. E was distraught. If he had handled the situation differently, I would have queued with her. I wanted to go as well but he completely flew off the handle, eyes bulging, spit spraying in his anger ..... Bloody, bloody awful. I'm skirting the issue here. We went to New York for four days. E wanted to go to the Statue of Liberty but the queue was long for the the ferry. Mr BB didn't come to the top of the Empire State Building because it was cloudy. Sure, you didn't get the views of the 10/15 miles you can see on a clear day but Y&E only wanted to go to the top to be able to tell their friends 'we went to the top'. He didn't come and watch us play the floor piano as featured in the film 'Big' with Tom Hanks in the toyshop FAO Schwarz and he didn't come with the three of us to meet my Aunty who lives on Long Island. I lived with this Aunty for 4 months when I was 16. She isn't some long lost relative I barely know. Two of my three cousins were there too. I last time I saw them was three years ago (and he didn't come with me then either). As long as the three of us do what he wants to do, we are OK.

This week sees the change in his industry that I have waited for, through so much cr*p, but suddenly I'm actually looking forward to his three weeks away as of next week and three weeks away in June. All these years I just wanted him home. Even as I met you last year, I just wanted him home and now ......... Maybe I'll join the majority of my friends yet.

We had a good day yesterday but even to spend a £1 on a crabline each caused a huff and a puff. Why? Because it wasn't what he wanted to spend his money on and I had left my handbag at home. Mr BB bought the one crabline for Y&E to share! It's little stuff like that that really gets to me now. I'm glad he has gone this morning and the three of us are able to please ourselves for the next few days.

Sorry about that mighty whinge. In a way it is a good thing that I write it down because now I have a record of it somewhere that Mr BB can't find, you know, just in case

How goes it at work? Still punching the male colleague and receiving chocolate Hob-Nobs? I'm still applying for stuff, but only jobs that I want. I'm applying for non-pressure stuff, 9-5 no hassles, but my previous job was the exact opposite and I think my CV is too 'sexed up' for what I'm applying for so a few tweaks this week to that I think.

Let me know how your week is going.

Take care, until the next time, x BB x

There never were any lines of communication between me and Chris, which has got a lot to do with our breaking up. He collected the few things that he had left behind when he came 'round to see me three weeks ago. He only really came that time to bring back my toothbrush and take away a few things of his. Most of his stuff was in storage anyway and never came to my house. He made it clear the day he left that he wanted to get away - it was only me who entertained hopes of remaining friends, but then I sort of went off the idea. I don't know how he would feel if I called him and I don't know how I would feel either.

The more you tell me about MrBB the more he sounds like my s**t of an ex-husband - spoilt and unreasonable (especially the bit about you being selfish because you were tired! When I got ill on holiday once, apparently I had done that on purpose to spoil it for him!) At the risk of overstepping the mark here, shouldn't you be more worried about how he treats the children? Bullying you is one thing, but being so mean to the children is quite another. Did he actually want anymore children? He wouldn't be the first man to be jealous of the attention his kids get from his partner, but given that he was already a father when you met him, he ought to have known what to expect this time. We all like to have a good moan about our partners from time to time (and do feel free to moan to me, I don't mind), but when you get to the stage when you do nothing but complain about them (which is largely how it was with me and Chris for the last two years), then you've got a problem. If I'd spent as much time actually talking to Chris as I did complaining about him to other people, maybe we could have resolved some of our problems.

I've always wanted to go to New York, but I've yet to find anyone who wanted to go with me. My brother went four years ago (I was ill in hospital at the time, so I was even more jealous) and he did say I could go with him next time he went, but seeing as he now has a very lovely girlfriend, I would be a bit of a gooseberry if I went with them.

Men really don't like visiting relatives, do they? Chris doesn't even want to visit his own relatives, let alone anyone elses. I'll never understand blokes if I live to be 100!

Work is still boring - hence I am on here at 9:30 in the morning! (Mrs Boss has gone to the doctors and wont be in for at least another half hour). There haven't been any more hob-nobs but five of us went to the pub Friday lunchtime, which was nice. My colleague who is splitting up with her partner is really fed up because he is still living in her house until he finds somewhere else, which must make things extremely difficult.

Anyway, I think that's all for now. I hope you and the kids enjoy the rest of your Easter break.

Chat soon.
Liz
~

Hi Liz,

I wanted to catch you before the weekend as I don't get a chance to hootoo much over the weekends.

Today was the last day of work for Mr BB and is homeward bound tomorrow. No decision has yet been made about working from home or at a computer terminal elsewhere or in Ireland. And the final decision won't be made until the end of June as two lengthy trips across the pond are scheduled. At the moment it just means the three of us get to live like the housesluts we truly want to be

Mr BB actually wanted more children with me. It was me who was thinking 'er, you are a bit older than me, you already have children who are quite old and I'm not in the least maternal'. The one thing I never thought I would be I have turned out to be rather good at, a Mum. Mr BB liked the idea of having children with younger, blonder, slimmer wife. I have been called a token wife and there have been moments when I believe that description. But now I see that he has no patience with them and no real, true interest in them

I've applied for application forms for a few more jobs. All non-pressurised clerical assistant jobs. I really thought I would have been in a job by now. Daddy is quite upset that I'm actively seeking a job. I suspect he feels that I shouldn't have to given our circumstances and considering what Mr BB has put the three of us through, because any job would mean a change for Y&E too. I wouldn't be there at the end of the school day for them. Something they have had all their school lives so far.


What are your weekend plans? I'd quite like to go to bed on Friday night and not wake up until Monday morning No chance though! Whatever you do, I hope it is good and I'll hopefully read you next week.

Take care, Liz,

x BB x

I was thinking about you the other day and it occured to me that the fact that you and MrBB spend so much time apart really does nothing to help your home life. You and the girls seem to spend weeks at a time doing your own thing while he is away and then there is the disruption and readjustment when he returns and then he goes away again and you have to get used to him not being around again. It must work the same for him too. I used to be an airforce wife and I know that divorce rates among the armed forces are much higher than in other parts of society and the fact that one half of the marriage is often away on detachment is a contributry factor. Ditto politics - how many MP's run off with their secretaries because they are away from home so much? Anyway, all that I'm trying to say at the end of that ramble is that his job is disrupting your home life and maybe things would get back on an even keel if he was based at home more. Then again, maybe you'd end up beating him to death with a rolling pin

I think lots of older parents have reduced patience with their children - it's the downside of late parenting.

I expect that your father's concerns about you going back to work stem from a generational difference. My Dad hates the fact that my Mum still goes out to work - he's of the last generation who expected a woman's place to be in the home. However, the fact that he has spent so much of his life on the sick meant that my Mum only stayed at home for 11 years altogether - she went back to work part time when my youngest brother was only 3 because they couldn't manage on my Dad's crappy wages. Kids are remarkably resiliant and adaptable little people - it might be unsettling for Y&E for a while if you go back to work, especially if you have to do something that involves working until tea-time, but they'll get used to it.

I had a letter from Chris on Tuesday. He has moved to a rented flat in a small town about 8 miles away. He didn't seem all that enamoured with his new surroundings, but the tone of his letter overall was more positive. He has reservations about keeping in touch, as do I, so I'm still not sure how that will pan out. Anyway, I wrote a very carefully worded letter back to him, but before he could have received it, he rang me up! He sounded very depressed on the phone. I think he already regrets moving out of town, he still isn't sleeping, he's still not eating properly and continues to lose weight and he's still waiting for a hospital appointment to try and sort out his health issues. He has also decided that he is the dullest man alive - completely untrue in my opinion. He's a worry to me.

I'm supposed to be meeting a friend tomorrow afternoon. I haven't seen her for about two years, so I'm not sure how that is going to go. She's already put me off once and as she is trying to find somewhere to live and is looking at houses tomorrow morning, it wont surprise me if she puts me off again. I've no idea what we are going to do with ourselves if we do meet up and I now have to try and get my groceries tonight rather than tomorrow as planned (Sunday is no good because the bus service is a lot less frequent on a Sunday and getting home from Sainsbury's involves two buses).

Anyway, I hope you have a good weekend.

Chat next week.
Liz
~

Hi Liz,

You are absolutely right of course about MrBB being away so much. That is why I so desprately wanted him to work from home. Well, last week, it happened. The section of the industry that he works in closed! Now MrBB has the option of a) working from home using a computer which is completely alien concept but that's the way forward in his work; b) working on a computer in an 'arcade' style environment with loads of other guys in the same position (except they go home each night to their wives and families but he would still be away because the arcades aren't anywhere near where we live or; c) doing exactly what he did before but doing it in Dublin which means he would still be away. I didn't wait for years and I mean years through alot of cr*p (including the MP and his secretary syndrome ) to have MrBB have the opportunity to work from home and then take either or the other two options. However, if he isn't granted a licence to work from home he'll have to take one of the other two options and how unreasonable does that make me look Anyway, MrBB is in Flori until the begining of May which means the pressure is off for the mo.

Daddy is just annoyed that I'm being pushed into this when it isn't really required. And seeing as MrBB isn't here an awful lot anyway, who is it who deals with the admin that having properties generates? Who is it who takes E&Y to Guides, gymnastics, netball, dancing, sleepovers? Who is it who cleans the house? Who is it who goes grocery shopping? That's why Daddy is upset the job thing.

Chris doesn't sound like he is doing very good at all, even though he was the one to make the decision and make the break. In fact, you sound alot better than he does. I never kept in touch with any of my ex-boyfriends. There wasn't any point. We didn't have the same friends and so it wasn't awkward from that point of view and although I never parted with any of them under a cloud this 'let's be friends even though we are not a couple' just doesn't wash with me. One of my girlfriends wanted to remain friends with a chap she was about to break-up with. He didn't want to accept the fact that it was over and in the end it became rather ugly. For some people a clean break is best. I'd keep contact to a minimum for now and see where it goes.

How did things go with your friend at the weekend? Did you manage to meet up in the end? What did you do? E has a sleepover party this weekend and Y and I will spend that time clearing out her newly decorated bedroom. Y is really good about not hanging onto superfluous (sp?) stuff and a car boot sale is on the agenda one weekend while MrBB is away. They are quite fun, the three of us packing the car, getting up extra early, setting the paste tables up, eating sandwiches ....

Said girlfriend interrupted me while tapping this out and now I'm really behind on my morning so I need to Have super weekend, let me know what you got up to.

Take care of yourself, BB x

Hi BB,

Yes, I did meet with my friend last Saturday. She took me out in her car. We went to a little village called Kersey (pics on this website if you're interested http://www.beenthere-donethat.org.uk/kersey.html), which is rather picturesque. We had lunch in the village pub and then we went for a walk. We tried to follow some circular walks around the village (with varying success). I don't know how far we walked but I hardly moved all day on the Sunday because I was so tired. I hadn't seen this particular friend for a couple of years, so it was really nice to catch up. She seems quite keen on the idea that we will do this again some time.

Other than that, I haven't got much to report this week. I've been slightly busier at work this week. Oh, and we had a new lecturer start work with us on Monday. Mrs Boss only decided to try and speak to her today but better late than never I suppose.

Chat again soon.

Liz
~

Hi Liz,

Time is slipping away again and you nearly slipped by. I haven't checked out the link you sent but I will. I love those 'organised' walks. They always have something to look at that you would have missed yourself or something you'd see and wonder what it is.

I went to the police yesterday about my prang. I was really uncomfortable about one of the prangees and I just wanted it recorded formally although nobody was hurt and the damage was relatively minor.

How is your emotional barometer now? High or low? Has Chris been in touch since he contacted you last?

I'm trying so hard to lose a few pounds again. I went swimming today and was really proud that I swam 450m frontcrawl non-stop I'll try and do something tomorrow and then rest the weekend. I've done something every day this week so far but still I don't seem to be tightening up

Y is better after having had her head in a bucket for most of Saturday and E is handling a hard situation at school the best she can. E is very much her own person and that is why E and MrBB clash so I suspect. MrBB can't get the better of her.

We are enjoying our time as housesluts and next week I must make a concerted effort to clean the house up before a homecoming.

What are you up to this weekend? I'm going at with friends this weekend to see a band and on Sunday a car bootie beckons for Y and me. Y has had a massive clear out since the redecoration and deserves to earn some money from it. So no matter how tired I am from Saturday night it looks like an early start of Sunday.

Keep in touch, Liz, and tell me everything or nothing.

Until then,

x BB x

<> - We were so busy gossiping I don't think we took much in

I had a really nice domestic sort of weekend last weekend - a bit of gardening, a bit of housework, a bit of reading and an hours walk both days. The weather was fab, particularly on Sunday. So, I had a really nice weekend and the week has been good too. I've been busier at work and so have almost enjoyed myself between the hours of 8.45 and 5.15 - I'm ever so tired now though - I'm not used to working for a living Mrs Boss has gone away on a business trip and will not be back until after the bank holiday.

I'm not sure what I will do this weekend, but it will mostly be domestic stuff. Having restricted my credit card spending this month, I've decided that I'm allowed to spend £50 before my next statement (Monday) so I may do a little light shopping (well, very light - £50 doesn't buy much really, does it).

I left a message on Chris's ansaphone on Monday because his polling card had arrived. He called me back on Tuesday and we had a really long chat. Well, he chatted and I mostly listend, which is a novelty in itself. He still hates his flat and the town he has moved to and he's still not sleeping well, but overall he sounded much better. He'd been to visit his sister (for the first time in about 10 years!) and had lots to tell me about that, and he's off to visit his youngest brother this weekend. It was really nice to hear from him and it would be cool if we could maintain this sort of contact - just a good old gossip once in a while. I've found a couple more things belonging to him and I'm sure that when I eventually get around to clearing out my bid cupboard there will be other stuff of his in there, so I might have to invite him round one day (I don't think I can send a golf club by mail) - however I'm in no rush to do that just yet.

Anyway, I think that's all my news for this week.

Chat soon.
Liz
~

Hi Liz,

A lurking opportunity has arisen and I just wanted to say that I have missed our chats and swapping our stuff. How are you doing? Work and Chris? Still eating the hobnobs? I managed to get to my target weight and yesterday I swam the furthest I have ever swam non-stop frontcrawl. A staggering (well, for me anyway) 650m! I felt so good afterwards.

Y has gone to her first disco in a pub, had a birthday last weekend, E is messing around in her bedroom and Mr BB has been in bed for about 40mins. Second childhood and all that. Early to bed.

This has been my first opportunity to check in since I had to check out so please leave a reply as and when because I've really missed you and all my new friends, and I will nip in and out as and when I can now.

Hope you are well and taking care of yourself.

With a and a , xBBx

So, do I take it Mr BB has taken the option of being based at home permanently?

I haven't spoken to Chris for nearly a month. I still miss him.

Work (I'm assuming that you've seen my journal 'Managing Change') - I move to my new office tomorrow and then we shall see what we shall see.

I had a couple of days annual leave to use up so I took Friday and today as holiday to give myself a long weekend. I went to see the Hitchhikers movie on Friday afternoon (I've written a journal about that too) and loved it. Then on Friday evening I foolishly mentioned to my Mum on the phone that I was on leave so she invited herself down for a visit. She and Dad arrived about midday on Sunday and went home again this afternoon. My Dad is talking a lot at the moment, relentlessly and very loudly. I'm exhausted. I shall be going back to work for a rest.

Despite a trip to Sainsbury's, the cinema and a visit from the Aged P's, I have managed to read a whole book this weeked - 'Date Expectations' by Paul Reizen. It was pretty entertaining actually.

At this precise moment I feel like I want to go to bed and sleep for a very long time, but as it's only 6pm, I probably shouldn't do that.

Well done on the swimming. I had a half formed plan to go for a swim this weekend, but the arrival of parents scuppered that.

I've been to the seaside today with my parents. We had a nice stroll along the front and then a particularly nice lunch in a pub and then it rained but that was OK because they had to go home anyway.

I hope you get chance to drop in again soon.

Take care.
Liz
~

Hi Liz,

A quick lurk and I see that you have changes afoot at work. How does it go? Typical of Mrs Boss to keep it quiet. What is Miss Boss like? I suppose the most important question is, are you still in the same office as the man who feeds you Hobnobs?

Mr BB has still found excuses to run off to see his old friends at least one or two nights every week so far. He hasn't settled down yet but it is early days. It is such a shame that he can't see the long-term picture regarding Y&E. You reap what you sow and at this rate, his crops are already withering

I, on the other hand, although not 100% fulfilled am feeling so much better that I shifted those last few extra stubborn pounds and am back to my December 2003 weight. It only took 17 months to shift 9lbs but I wasn't totally committed like I have been these last 6/7 weeks. My hair is almost looking normal again and the last of my green fingernail came off early last week and my new nail is almost level with the top of my fingertip.

I have been invited to two parties in the month of June, both of which I'm really looking forward too.

How are you and Chris doing or not doing? Has he been in contact again or has it all gone quiet again? I know that you really care about him and I hope that you and he are able, one day, to be in a more comfortable place then perhaps you are right now.

Looking forward to my next lurking opportunity and hopefully seeing something from yourself.

Take care of yourself,
Thinking about you and your work situation,
As always, BB

Hiya - nice to find your message today.

Does Mr BB still not know about your internet friends? And if not, why not? Keeping secrets is a bad thing in a relationship (here speaks the voice of experience). Do I take it that he is still not properly involved with the children?

Anyway, lots of my news today. Sadly, I am not still in the same office as the man with the hobnobs, but I do call over there a couple of times a day to take things backwards and forwards. I have been in my new office for nearly a fortnight and so far, it has mainly been the same old c**p, just in a different office and I have done a lot of running about from one office to the other. My new line manager (Miss Boss) has been on holiday for most of the time I've been in my new habitat. She seems very pleasant and friendly, but I wouldn't trust her any further than I could kick her. I'm not very enamoured with my new surroundings so far - it's far too busy with telephones ringing constantly and people (including students) in and out all day long. I think it may be time to start looking for another job (if I wanted to do course administration, I wouldn't have applied for a job in a research centre). I could do with earning a bit more money now anyway.

My 'new' work team got me a birthday card and so did the 'old' team (who also got me some gift vouchers) I went out for lunch with my 'old' team on the day before my birthday and we had a jolly time. That morning I also had a phone call from my friend in France, which was a lovely surprise. I went out for a Chinese meal and to see Jack Dee on my birthday and both were excellent. I had a really nice couple of days.

My Mum and Dad have cancelled their trip to Canada (long story, related to my Dad being a miserable old git and a hypocondriac). I can't get any time off work in September so, even if it hadn't been such a long visit, I couldn't have gone in his place. However, Mum still wants to go and we hope to go together next spring, just us girls .

I got a birthday card from Chris with a letter in it and, as his birthday is only two days after mine, I rang him on his birthday and we had a lovely long chat on the phone. Then we met for lunch on Friday. He was a looking a lot better than the last time I saw him, but he is still very thin. He has lost a lot of weight and his face now looks rather haggard. Still, it was nice to see him and have a natter (and he paid for my lunch!)

I hope you are having a nice bank holiday weekend. I haven't really done that much, but I've had a nice relaxing time so far. I've done a bit of shopping and a lot of reading - I spent much of yesterday sat in the garden with my book and I have finished reading it in doors this afternoon. I feel incredibly tired today, which has been a good excuse to ignore the housework. However, my brother and his girlfriend are supposed to be coming to stay next week, so I will have to summon up the energy to clean their room tomorrow.

Till next time.
Liz
~

Hi Liz,

I'm not able to post like I used to or play but I've lurked a bit and tried my best to keep up with your triumphs, trials and tribulations even if I haven't posted.

I'm pleased that you enjoyed your recent trip to France. I love Paris. And all this about the French don't like the English and the English don't like the French - even the French don't like the French!

I hear what you are saying about secrets. It has been so good to offload and chew the fat here on hootoo and to be offered support and words of wisdom as well as play. I've missed the genuineness (is that a word?) of the friends that I have made here, the in-jokes, the laughs along the way and Mr BB just wouldn't get it. I am genuinely unable to check-in like I used too and I shouldn't use hootoo as my companion here at home. But I have missed the mental banter (and you can interpret that term in either way!).

So although I am not here as often, you are defintely not forgotten.

How is that stuff between you and Chris now? Are you both comfortable with the way things are or is it still a bit sticky? Have you been out with anybodyelse yet? Do you want too?

Answer all or none of the above but either way, I'd love to have you swing by. I'm offline for a couple of weeks again now but when I'm able to check-in again, I hope you have had the time and inclination.

Until then, take care
xBBx

A message from BillyBob!



Joy unconfined!

It's good to know you are still around and I hope it wont be too long before you can 'pop back'.

So what's new? Is Mr BB still a troll or has he humanised as a result of having to spend more time with his charming wife and sprogletts? And how are E&Y? Are you going out to work now, or did you decide that looking after MrBB is a full time job in itself? I hope all goes well in BillyBob world.

I haven't had much contact with Chris of late. I've lost interest in him, to be very honest. I had a particularly nice lunch with him WAAAY back in June, but I was so depressed afterwards that I decided that seeing him was doing more harm than good. I summond him 'round to pick up the last of his C**p at the end of July and he was really down and sorry for himself. That was the last time that I saw him and a couple of days later I had a new experience - I realised I was pleased to be shot of him and not have to deal with his emotional problems any more. In the interests of not appearing to be a heartless bitch, I did send him a text message last month wishing him luck with a hospital appointment. He replied to say that the appointment had been cancelled and "maybe I should have expected it" - he was clearly depressed and very sorry for himself (what still?) but I just thought 'oh pull yourself together you whinger!' So that's that really.

I haven't been out with any other blokes (but I've been out LOADS with various friends and work mates). My work chum who got ditched a couple of weeks after me has been on to Match.com and found herself a new fella who took her to Venice for the weekend just two weeks after they met! I am giving some consideration to trying out a bit of internet dating, but I don't think I can be bothered at the moment. I am getting a little tired of having to go everywhere on my own and some company at the weekends would be nice, but apart from that I can't see any reason to get involved with another man. The fact that I'd like someone to chauffer me about is hardly grounds for starting a new relationship.

Anyway, I hope it wont be quite so long before you have time to leave me a proper message again.

Take care and chat soon-ish
Liz
~

Hi Liz!

Thanx for the warm 'welcome back' greeting.

I'm soooooooooooooo pleased to hear you are settled without Chris in your life. Having been through a divorce doesn't make a break-up of a major relationship any easier and it's great to hear you so positive and out and about enjoying the company of your friends.

Did I tell you about a girlfriend of mine that went speed-dating? She lied about her age, 41, and the age limit for the evening was 40. She ended up with the oldest chap she spoke to being 35! That didn't turn her on but a she received a couple of 'votes' but no matches. On a return trip she went in the 40-50 eveing and again, she received votes but no matches. And out of the blue, after two and a half years on her own and two one night stands, she has met a 38 year old and more importantly, wants to see again. I don't know the full details yet as it was just a garbled message. But the friend she went speed-dating with the second time, met a chap, they voted for each other which equals a match and have been seeing each other ever since! I also have a friend who met present husband in an internet chat room, are very happily married now and have recently had a baby together to complete the four children they already have between them.

As for Mr BB, after a desperately dramatic scene instigated by him just before the summer holidays, the Mr BB that I had met and married re-appeared The honeymoon is definitely over now although a more humanised Mr BB has appeared. However, all is not and for the situation between Y&E&Mr BB is dreadful. Unfortunately, although Mr BB has made amends (in his own way), the boat has sailed for Y&E where he is concerned. It is too late. They do not have the ability to look forward. In fact, E told me that 'I choose to look back and not forward'! And that is E's privilege. (I must also say thank you on such a compliment as 'charming wife'. I have a girlfriend who will not speak to Mr BB anymore as he used to speak to me in such an appalling manner and accused me of being 'thick and stupid'. She claims I am his competition ..... and he doesn't like it!). Y also has her reasons and when Y&E have been unreasonable about Mr BB I have defended him to the hilt but sometimes I have been unable to do so.

The job thing was, apparently, a 'misunderstanding'! Mr BB generates enough paperwork to keep me gainfully employed and if I told you that he has been described by the divorce lawyer as the original MCP, and that I really do everything domestic from the washing and drying up to attending school recitals to doing the after-school activity runs to deciding which schools Y&E should or should not attend, between all of that and his admin, I really don't have time for a job but it was a point I was making.

I'm Mr BB-less for a couple of days so I shall make the most of it. It really is difficult to get here these days but I take every opportunity I can to keep in touch with the few good friends I have made here, yourself included.

So I look forward to the next time,

Take care,

xBBx

Hmmmm. I think I shall gloss over large areas of your last post as, despite your insistance that everything is OK, you still manage to make MrBB sound like a bully and if children as young as yours cannot look to the future, I think you are all in a lot of trouble. . I really can't tell whether things are OK or not.

I haven't got much to report really. I haven't done much since I got back from France. I went out with a work friend on Friday evening to see some bands playing a charity gig, but as she had arranged for her husband to pick us up at 10.15, we didn't actually see much. I think the highlight for me was meeting my friend's who came with hubby to collect us. They might be moving to my side of town, which would be nice as then I could make regular dog patting visits.

I got a voucher for a beauty salon for my birthday which was about to expire, so I went and spent it yesterday. I need to find a way of discouraging that sort of present as it really isn't my thing. I know that sounds ungrateful, but I hate it when people waste their money on something I wont like. I allowed someone to convince me that a pedicure would be nice and seriously wished I hadn't listend to them yesterday afternnon - it was one of the most unpleasant half-hours I've ever spent. I'd rather go to the dentist! I didn't enjoy the manicure much either(I find the massaging bit rather painful), but at least my nails do look nice now. I really can't see how being poked and pulled and manhandled by some strange woman gets to be classed as pampering. I'm obviously not a proper woman - I don't like going to the hairdresser either

I've been so bored since my little French excursion that I have decided to blow some of my hard earned cash on a car hire next weekend and go to visit my parents. I've arranged to go and see a friend while I'm there who I haven't seen for a couple of years. She has invited me for Sunday lunch, but this may not go down well with mother. We shall see.

Anyway, I'm off for a bath now. The second Lord of the Rings film is on telly later and I want to be in my pyjamas before it starts.

I hope all is well with you.

Chat soon
Liz
~

Hi Liz,

You know, I really couldn't get into that Lord of the Rings film, and I really did try for E's sake. I made the point to Mr BB that he should try and sit through it otherwise the situation between him and E would never improve. Take an interest in what she likes, afterall, Mr BB expects Y&E to happily join in anything that he wants to do. Mr BB lasted about half an hour and I lasted an hour and twenty minutes but I just couldn't do it Are you a big fan of the Lord of the Rings stuff? Even at school I found The Hobbit a bit boring - sorry!

I like the sound of regular dog patting visits. We haven't done any doggy-sitting recently but I'm still considering what breed would be most suitable for our household.

As for Mr BB being a bully ..... it is hard to admit that the man I met and fell in love with has turned into the man he is today. I've changed, and hopefully for the better. More patient, less selfish, more understanding. Again, it is hard to say it out loud but I think it is a combination of things: being older than me, having a second family, feeling constricted/frustrated by family life when Mr BB has the time and the means to pursue anything he cares too. I have noticed that now winter is here, Mr BB has been out of the country as much as can be justified because by his own admission today he 'hates the cold'. Mr BB flew off to sunnier climes for a few days (too see older daughter) and it won't be long after his return that another warm trip beckons, all legit!

Y&E are good. Y sits an entrance exam for next year's senior school this weekend. We have been practising test papers but nerves are getting the better at the moment.

I love having a manicure/pedicure treat. I don't have them very often. A girlfriend on mine does all that kind of stuff and I go to her for waxing and very occasionally a facial. I find it very calming and relaxing. As for the hairdresser, my hair is straight again but isn't doing very much while I wait for the top layers to grow down. It is just - there!

Don't worry about glossing over the car-crash of emotions I call my life, I value anything you have to say.

Take care and see you soon,
xBBx

Hello.

I've been having trouble getting onto h2g2 lately and not just due to time constraints. I sat down to log-in on Sunday afternoon to find that my ISP's server was down and I could get no internet access at all.

I'm not particularly into The Lord of The Rings (I'd never even heard of it before the films were made), but I do like the films. I have no interest in the story, I just like the way it all looks. And Viggo Mortensen is very handsome. It surprises me that I manage to watch the films as they are so long - normally I have the attention span of a gnat.

I'm bored stiff at work again. I'm looking forward to the Christmas break - I haven't had a whole week off in one go since June. I've taken most of my leave in odds and bits (four long weekends), which has been nice but it will be good to have a big chunk of leave all at once. I have hired a car for the Christmas weekend as I am going to stay with my brother. It's a long drive (around 160 miles) and whilst I have driven further than that, I've not done that sort of distance on my own. I'm used to tootling up and down to my Mum's (I hired a car a couple of weeks ago to go and see them), but I am apprehensive about three-and-a-half hours of motorway driving.

I'm also fed up with being skint. Hiring cars is all well and good, but my savings take a hit every time I do it. I was skint in October due to my French trip, skint this month from hiring a car, I shall be skint in December due to Christmas and then in the New Year I really must buy some new glasses. I shall have to ask Father Christmas for a rich husband

Anyway, as I haven't really got anything to tell you this time, I shall sign off.

Chat soon
Liz