Journal Entries
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Lonesome
Posted Aug 15, 2004
Dear Diary 
Bolton 4-1 yeehar.
Dan.
Discuss this Journal entry [2]
Latest reply: Aug 15, 2004
Schnitzel Pops
Posted Aug 5, 2004
Dear Diary
Got a job today....whoop. In the land of chicken I will reign supreme, KFC now have another soldier to spread the good word of chicken slaughtering all accoss England, well Britain. Can't wait to start actually, it's a boredom killer, plus I get paid too (obviously). Fowl play? Surely not........anyway I'm still not happy, really. I'll not go into it again, but I'm still thinking of her. Oh I'm going to a mates house tomorrow night which should be fun, I'm going have a bit of a drink, maybe, oh and a nice little dance 
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It's only 14 days (two weeks for the smart ones among us) til I receive word about my A Level results, OH MY GOD I hope I've got good results, I want to go to Central Lancs so bad . If not I've always got my KFC prospects job to fall back on :P
Tallyho for now.
Dan.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Aug 5, 2004
Hola
Posted Jul 25, 2004
Dear Diary
Just been reading through my earlier entries and realising what a soppy beggar I am. I still mean it though. Well what happened today? Woke up at around 12ish and realised Leigh's Academy were playing before the first team so I awoke, took a shower and set off (alone) to watch the match. Met some people in the bar had a bit of dinner and some cokes then went up to watch the first team play Oldham with our very own 'Leyth Army'. Good game with some good rugby played by Leigh, very imaginative on a wet and dull day. Ended up at 36-12 to the Leythers and which could be a potential lifesaver as I think I had put 36-12 on the forecast, happy happy joy joy
. Anyways since coming back I've lounged around on the internet, preferring to be alone.
I've been doing that lately (wanting to be alone) I don't know why. I suppose I need time to think about what has happened over the past few weeks. I've already spoken about this in earlier diary entries so I won't delve into too much detail this time round. It is definately kicking in about now, I feel so lonely, I have friends around me yes but when I split with Cath it just felt as if something had been taken away. I wanted to be with her so badly, I just feel as life is unfair. I hate it, what's the point if you're not going to be truly happy? It's not going to make me stronger, it's just made me feel weak(mentally) and quite moody
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It's like for a time, when we first spoke it took up part of my day and made me really happy and jolly. Where has it all gone? I got such a kick out of talking to her she made me feel good, it was even better when we met up. Now it just feels empty, I dont know how I coped before without her? I wasn't particularly looking for anyone, but now I've had that little taste of her (whoa whoa lads not like that)I feel as though I can't not be with her. I would do anything just to be with her again, I wish I had some sort of magic wand which could make it all better again. It feels like Christmas Day when you go to open your presents and the thing you most wanted was not there, and the feeling of disappointment that makes your stomach turn and flip, making you feel a little sick, but most of all weird.
So what is this feeling then? Could it be a passionate love for someone whom I've hardly seen, but cherish so much? I don't know, I don't know what love is to be honest, maybe it varies from person to person? All I know is that this is a different feeling to any I have had before. I hope I've made a big impression on her so she doesn't forget me, I know it sounds selfish but I hope she doesn't find anyone better, she will and I'm just going to have to accept that really.
If this sounds like the rantings of a lunatic then don't come to Leigh'cause I will be there, in the corner....rocking and watching....always watching, just kidding
Ta' for listening again.
Dan.
Discuss this Journal entry [2]
Latest reply: Jul 25, 2004
Random
Posted Jul 21, 2004
Not posted for a while....hello.
Dear Diary
I feel mixed up, I feel as if I don't want to miss that special person because I know nothing can happen for us. But then I get another overwhleming feeling of disappointment again. She's upset or at least sad at something but she won't tell me, hope it has nothing to do with me.
I want to be with her again.
Dan.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Jul 21, 2004
Flibberdabber
Posted Jul 15, 2004
Dear Diary
Not a good day. Decided to call it off yesterday morning, which is for the best in the end but I still can't shake that nagging feeling of disappointment. On the surface I'm making jokes looking ok and so forth, deep down I'm injured and upset, this hasn't (yet) taken a physical form and could hit me any day.
It's starting to kick in a bit now, that feeling of pure guttedness(word?). Well it's going to be tough getting over this, I've never had to let anyone go (relationship wise) that I have had such strong feelings for. Sure I've not known her that long (couple of months tops), people may say 'oh you didn't know her long it will be ok' but as I have said before in these pages she meant a lot to me, I felt she was that 'one' special person I could relate to, confide in, laugh with be sad with.
When you break up with someone, you strive to find someone better, someone who won't hurt you, but I just feel as though I'm going to find it hard to find someone better this time round. She had the right mix of everything I like in a girl/woman whatever. It's took me almost a year to find that someone special, I'm not one to go around asking people on dates willy nilly, I like to wait for someone nice, someone special.
I thought I had hit the jackpot this time, but unluckly it was not to be. I sometimes get the feeling that someone, out there, doesn't want me to be truly happy(conspiracy?) I just want to be happy, you know? You don't know what you got til it's gone, that's exactly how I feel.
I have some good memories, however I just wish there were more, I couldn't have asked her to be any nicer to me and for that, thank you.
Special mention to Andy who's done his bit in taking my mind off it and stuff cheers mucker
and Rachael who's been there for me too, thnks very much.
I hope she's happy, that's all I want.
Thanks for listening, if you are.
Dan.
Discuss this Journal entry [2]
Latest reply: Jul 15, 2004
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DannySim
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