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First 2 Para's Group

Post 21

U645857

Hi! Well for better or worse, my 2 paragraphs are posted now. I'm also hooked up to the GW thread so I can see what's happening there too.

Good news for me. My 'Emperor's New Clothes has been picked to be featured in the UG on h2g2 which is a very nice surprise.

I'm also trying to get my dream entry into the PR forum - not the most easiest task in the world, but there we go.

I've also written a short story this week for h2g2 which I would like you to read when you get a chance. It would be good to have a female opinion - but you will see why I say that after the read. The A number is A3496089.

Talk to you soon,


First 2 Para's Group

Post 22

the fat gardener

Dear Flame,

Congratulations on getting your 'Emperors New Clothes' picked!

I'm sorry but I don't know anything about h2g2 - have never explored there - does it have anything there better than GW? Is it worth going there when GW closes down?

I have read your powerful story. I think you have handled it really well. It is a very well-balanced story, with good pace. I presumed she had been given some 'date rape' drug, or was it just alcohol? I think you portrayed the raw fear realistically, and being inside the head of someone helpless due to drugs/alcohol. You weren't judgemental about her putting herself in the situation (which was out of her control), and showed the rapist to be agressive after pretending to be helpful - which is a very probable switch. It was very terribly real.


First 2 Para's Group

Post 23

U645857

Dear FG,

Thanks very much for the review - that sort of situation could happen to anyone, and all too easily. Quite often the early warning signs are not present, or something 'seemingly' innocent can soon get out of hand......

There is life after GW. h2g2 doesn't work quite the same way as GW - but it has plenty to offer - and it really would be worthwhile giving it a go. Nothing to lose - and much to gain. When you get a chance have a good look around, if you would like to know anything - feel free to ask. How about posting a bit of work there? I'm sure it would be reviewed and would give you a chance to meet a few people. I'm sure they would be pleased to see you there!

I'm going to wait until all the 2 Para short stories have been posted on GW before I review. Hopefully you will let us know when all the stories are in. One of the questions I thought would be interesting in the review is - would you like to read more of this story? That would give a good indication as to whether it was a good opening. Anyway, that's just a thought......

smiley - magic


First 2 Para's Group

Post 24

the fat gardener

Dear Flame,

thanks for your message - sorry it's taken me so long to reply but things have been hectic at home.

Yes, I'll try to have a look at h2g2, thanks.

Your idea to say if you would like to read more of a story seems a good one. Thanks for imput.

I'm hoping people will start posting on the group thread soon - it would be good to get some group discussion/interaction going - as well as the reviews.

Hope you're ok. smiley - cheersFats.


First 2 Para's Group

Post 25

U645857

Dear FG,

Good to hear from you. It's the weekend so I'm fine! Hope things have calmed down a bit at home - the thread seems to have gone very quiet without your input, and I of course know very few people, or they me.

I just thought we could have some sort of criteria to go by when we critique the stories, so that everyone is looking along the same lines. Just an idea, it may or may not help, or even work....

Foggy smiley - magic


First 2 Para's Group

Post 26

the fat gardener

Dear Foggy,

Yes your idea sounds good - do you have any ideas re criteria.

Appologies again for me not being around. Son now has some kind of eye infection. Also busy with other stuff.

Re not knowing people, I did wonder if, now we have a good few members, we could introduce ourselves on the group thread, as if we'd just met up.

Is this a naff idea?


First 2 Para's Group

Post 27

U645857

No FG, it's a very good idea. Maybe we could get suggestions for the criteria on the thread.

Have you joined the new GW group at MSN? I've joined up but haven't been in to have a look around.

Hope things settle down a bit at home soon.

smiley - magic


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