h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yuck, that's rubbish. It's awful when you make an effort to try and help out, and you feel like you might as well not have bothered.

How were your fishcakes?

Nice. Got 'em all crispy then decided I didn't like the crispiness so hollowed them out and made sandwiches!
Hey, I'm ill, I'm allowed to be gross.

Absolutely. No point wasting food anyway.
After our conversation about sexy Who companions, I found a huge archive of pictures of Nicola Bryant who played Peri Brown with an absurdly inaccurate American accent/vocabulary. Not as interesting a character as Leela, but perhaps more to my aesthetic taste... yum yum.

I don't remember there ever being one I found attractive! I think they were supposed to be there for the dads or something.

God, I ache. Work is pain, I might go rob a bank so I don't have to do it anymore. Or at least find a job where I can take naps!

If you need a partner in the perfect crime, count me in. I'm sick of being utterly skint.

Yes, I remember reading that the tabloids had a field day over Leela, claiming now Dads could enjoy Doctor Who as well. I'm not sure there was ever something to appeal to the Mums, though, perhaps until Paul McGann... but even that's a stretch of the imagination...

Hey, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't kick Tennant out of bed for eating chips, but the totty factor is pretty low!

So, my master plan? I'm thinking, how closely watched are bank cleaners? It's a bit of a long game I'll grant ya, avoiding supsicion, lulling people into a false sense of security, cleaning!!!!

Um, maybe not. Back to the drawing board.

How closely are cleaners watched? Very, I think is the answer to that.
I was working on a more rural approach: steal a tractor, back it up to a small store with one of those mini cash machines, chain tractor to machine, belt off with it.
Problem is, a tractor doesn't make an ideal getaway vehicle!!

Nah, but they are very accessable! Also good over rough terrain. Why run from things when you can run over them? Plus most people couldn't tell the difference between one tractor and another, so easy to hide.
I'm liking this idea, it has many good points. Actually, let's go now. In this mist nobody'll be able to see us anyway!

You're on. As you say, the fog is thickening, night is approaching, and we'll be away before they know what has hit them, the cash machine clanking and crashing in our wake!! Hoorah!

Huzzah!

Um.......

I fell asleep!

Keep doing that, not sure why.

It's probably for the best, a crime rushed is a crime bungled I always say.

I'm applying for a bar job today. Am getting pretty desperate - not that bar jobs are desperate, I like them actually, but I am desperate to get my car insured again. Stuck in a valley with only a 5-gear mountain bike is driving me mad!!

How are you feeling today?

Meh. Ok I suppose. The dog's not well now, can't work out if she's just got a bit of a bug or if it's something more serious. She's being bloody inconsiderate and refusing to tell me. Bitch!

Used to love bar work, it's like a social life you get paid for!

Same again please.

Maybe she doesn't know herself, poor dear.

Yes, I've just re-written my Bartending CV (my broadcasting and media one is online and very swish too) and am going to be ferrying it about the countryside over the weekend, as well as sending it off to this karting/shooting place today. Just about to have my photo taken for it (yuck). A full-time position with a nice little village pub would be heaven, though.

Have bathed dog. Dog now hates me!
Must shower.

I must do that to Mum's dog soon. I'm happy enough doing it in the bath, except she (Mum) doesn't like that - she's a proponent of a cold hose in the garage, which I hate. Something must be done, though, he's getting quite whiffy.

Ok, you will need:

1 large bucket of warm water with dog shampoo in.
1 smaller bucket of HOT water.
1 pair of gardening gloves with those knobbly bits..
1 soft cloth for any delicate areas!
1 small bowl.
2 towels, size dependant on size of dog.

Use small bowl to pour soapy water over dog, using gloves and cloth to wash.
Smaller buckets contents will now be cool enough to use for rinsing off all soap.
If you need me to tell you what the towels are for there's no hope for you!

I read this a little too late, but I used a similar technique: I filled the bath up a little, mixed up dog shampoo in the sink, and then deposited dog into bath. He was remarkably good, just stood there whilst I shampooed him, then rinsed with the shower head thing, then repeated. Following that, I towel-dried, then brushed/blow-dried, him by the fire. Can't believe how shiny he came out!!

How's you today? Have a pleasant weekend?

Weekend was ok, it started with an emergency dash to the vet!

She's fine, just a bug and a touch of arthritis. Absolutely milking it in my opinion, warm baths, cooked chicken. Keep thinking I should put on a dvd for her and offer her my fur throw!
Baggage.
Now my phone is poorly, waiting for an email with a youtube link to THAT KISS on Comic Relief so I can email it to my friend at work thereby guaranteeing she gets no work done today. Phone works for about half an hour then the screen stops working. Bottom.