h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I’ve lumped everything together, since it seemed much easier to copy and paste everything into a Word doc and work on it away from the site. To a certain extent, your work is doesn’t require criticism You appear to speak so clearly from the heart, it would be a shame to spoil that flow with too much introspection. So I can’t pretend anything I’ve said here is definitive; it’s one man’s humble opinion and should be taken as such and no more.

To Be or NOT to Pee

A brilliantly evocative slice of nightlife. The pub toilet ritual is a subject ripe for study, parody and appreciation. I’m wondering whether there’s something in it for a male version, with snippets such as “ten pints or you’re a puff” etc.

Not sure what you meant by ‘You girls on the tear’. I’m assuming it’s tear to rhyme with scare and probably means the same as ‘out on the lash’. There’s so many colloquialisms for getting drunk on the town/going on the pull, it’s easy to lose track!

Magical.


A Piece of Work

The title draws you in all by itself, as ironic sounding as it is and the work itself doesn’t disappoint. An excellent study in control freakery so vivid it had me worried for a while.
‘Wants me for his wanting’ seems very illustrative of this breed of bloke. It reminds me of a conversation I overheard in a pub a few weeks ago – a couple, the lass heavily pregnant were sat smoking & drinking while she delighted in telling their male companion how her fella still expected a shag every morning, no matter what and made it sound like they were talking about a morning coffee in bed or something.

The last verse – are you saying the narrator dreamed of killing him, or was the whole thing a bad dream?

The only bit I wasn’t sure about was ‘Alpha Adonis Ass-Hole’. I don’t really know why, but I’m thinking it’s something to do with the ass-hole bit, while the rest of the verse, while far from complimentary, refrains from direct insult. But then again, I might just be talking bollocks.

Powerful, moving and yet still playful. Top stuff.


Mother Nature

This rings a bit like several separate poems on the same subject. All good in themselves, but not sure how to hang together.

Verse 1 - a keen evocation of continuation through birth.

Verse 2 - Didn’t really ‘get’ this, maybe it’s the idea of branches growing from breasts that put me off?

Verse 3 Onwards - this section hangs together well, with its ideas of inheritance and family and the finish, getting shorter and shorter, leaves more time for the rest of the work to sink in.


Passioned Pint

Difficult to tell whether this comes from the perspective of a pint, or perhaps from a woman trying to compete with her man’s love of beer and I think that’s what makes it work so well. Best left to the reader to decide, I think.

There’s a hypnotic quality to this that seems to leave my palette refreshed but my mind slightly fuddled, just like a cold beer sould.

Probably my favourite


Seductive Smoke

Addictions are like affairs, and affairs can be like addictions and this illustrates the parallel perfectly. It’s amazing how many allusions you can draw from smoking.

‘I am there for your distressed caress.’ Is a standout line, not just because it’s on it’s own, either and the next two mini verses are sublimely lyrical.

I don’t smoke, but I have developed a strange craving …

Weaver,

You're a wee dote (term of endearment in these parts, not any reference to loss of mind or growing old!), so many thanks, I really do appreciate your comments!

You have given me some fresh and interesting things to think about.
I have one small favour to ask of you - and only because of the piece you wrote yourself caled 'Nevermind' - Would you cast your eye over Bus STOP! A2765333. I only ask as it is slightly similar but would like for you to seperate the subject from the writing. No sensitivity required and in your own time. The reason being as most responded to the subject matter only, (which touched me loads), but I wanted comment on the writing.

'On the tear' means 'out on the piss/razzle', to put it mildly. maybe it's just an Irish term. BYW, 'craic' means fun, news, what's happening etc...
Hey, why don'y you write the 'Gent's version and I'll give it a wee peek!

I am impressed that you did all this, this afternoon, so again cheers and get out of them PJ's, NOW!! 'Tis after 3pm!

Jen

Sat in front of the telly with a laptop, the F1 race was so boring, I had to do something else to keep me awake!

On of the hardest things (IMHO) about commenting on the work of others is separating the subject from the