h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hi jen,
i have been thinking about your work, at least the parts that i've read. for some reason i see you as a person who intends to publish sometime shortly (the only other person i see this way is redmont), so perhaps my critiques are that much more serious and critical when it comes to reviewing your poetry. anyway, i'm never going to try to soften the blow or make things too easy for you (the world when you go out and publish is many times worse...), plus its just easier to tell you what i think.
enough of a preamble.

the genres you work with:
nature and its descriptions: like a taste of shell and the village at my doorstep. you are master class at this. any poem in this genre, from your pen thrills beyond measure (look, the names of the poems are stuck in my mind, i don't even have to visit your works to refresh my memory...thats how good they are!)

the sexual act: like shoved love, and a couple of others: again, you are wonderfully evocative on these poems. they all do well.

the emotion of love: your revenge poems: like lying eyes, and the 'afraid' poem you wrote today, and the nice guy one. these are where you need a lot more work: they are just not coming together. and i wonder why?

finally, your series shorties: you already have my view on them: brilliant as long as you find balance.

also: loose leaves (suppose it fits in some tangential way into the sexual act series) was wonderful! why did you name it fbuster the first time around. forget the attention grabbing titles that leave the reader going huh, whats the connect?

finally, just an observation: your poetry seems to follow one genre for a while before a change. almost like a fashion season line: fall line, winter line etc. first, there were a lot around the sexual act ( won't tell you what i was thinking you were upto at this point) and now all the revenge ones are queueing up one after the other!

so why did i write this long missive? because.

go figure.



indie

Hi Indie,

I have been off the threads for nearly 2 days, (geez, it WAS hard tearing myself away), but slipped into it's clutches last night around 4ish am, slightly drunk and devilish and dabbled on a few convos.
HENCE, I left the real 'ones' 'til this morn. (Wee hangover is hangin' high. Third mug of coffee, four fags and 2 painkillers for breakfast....)

ANYWAY - I have to say that I am really touched by your pure honesty, dedication and encouragement you so willingly and kindly dish out to all. I am overwhelmed at the depth of interest you have taken in my own mere ramblings and feel really in awe. You also seem to KNOW me SO well! How DO you do that?!!
I have listened to all, (and will continue to DO so), you say and take on board, yet I was surprised at Kev's and your own review of my last poem 'Eyes of Lies', but I REALLY appreciate that you both were sincere and explanatory in return. (Will post comment there later.)
And YES, PLEASE always tell me all critique straight up! That is what I yearn for, hon. Although, it does surprise me - what makes you think I desire to publish?
My prosaic pieces I have had a few in print over the years and do hope to continue along that avenue, yet poetry is soley/souly for my self, and now a share within here. Have never considered wider audience or road to publishing with that mode seriously. The little poetry path is a little release of thought, fun and observation. GW has given me such courage and pride since that I have since shown a few to close friends and family. (They all think I'm a little off-kilter anyway!)

Indie, you have made me feel that this is all so worth while and I can not thank-you enough for your power of prolific insight, excellent constructive feedback and rarity of spirit. You ARE one in a miliion and I'm blessed to have bumped into your wonderful being. I hadn't written anything, (poetry, anyway), for nearly 10 years till I fell in the door here.
'Shooved Love', "Loose Leaves', 'Unnatural Fit', 'Spooned Tuneless' and most parts of last 2 poems are the freshest of offerings I've created, and that makes it harder to throw into the room here. They are STILL too tender with and for me. YOU, among a few special others (you know the beauty bunch: Looby, Kev, Roy, Justine, Mecca etc..), have been angel delights in pushing my little pen to probe, and THAT is magic.
I was not aware of my run of genres, but God yes I've become a slave to the fashion! Circus shirts and padded bras and all! (Padded cell wouldn't go amiss!!)
My own REAL life is on one helluva mental roller coaster at the moment. I have so many balls juggling and kind of walking a tight-rope at times or playing/fighting with lions. On that groovy train, the swinging boat and darting in all directions. GW seems to be forcing me to dig deeper and decide the next ride and open the eyes. It's fecking surreal. Your input is helping to anchor me and acknowledge my own belief. (This is TOO early a morn to TRY and seem semi-philosophical, especially with a raging hangover, slippered feet and remnants of last night's make-up still smudged on funny face!)
And you've hit the nail on the head with your relevations - my emotional outbursts from the sex to revenge. Well, what can I say...... A mixed up kid in the chaotic crisis of identifying and realising herself. Revenge is only existent in words alone, sometimes the sex too! 'F'Buster' was written for someone, other than my partner, and for that I feel a little guilty. And you are SO right, I do tend to over-exaggerate and follow the word power rather than address the concentrated theme/feeling in hand.
Indie, many thanks for your industrious insight and genuine input. It means MORE to me than you'll ever know. 200% appreciated.
You are the jewel in the crown. Forever sparkling and shedding light on all around you. Thanks for that brightness! I have a few happier pieces in mind now and hope to spring them forward soon. If they need a good slap, fire away. Thomp hard and punch if you have too. I won't hit back but could do with a sting now and agian!

PHEW! You STILL there?! 'Tis a long one!
Sending you a hug across the lines and owe you one helluva party night out, Kid!! I will be reviewing all the poetry I've missed this week over the w'end, so will leave comment on 'The Battle of the Sexes' for sure! Battle on, oh wise, mad, sweet and wonderful one!! You're a star! !

Cheers &

Jen

NOW where the feck's THOSE painkillers...

Am away to work. Catch you later, hon.....

And STOP flirting with all the lads! Wait 'till Mrs Loopy Loo Roll finds out!! You'll be in trouble! Ha! Ha!

okay,
a lot of the gushing had to do with the hang over for certain. how about this: if ever i plan a holiday to your wonderful country, you can put me up at the village at your doorstep: (throw in a lot of drinking and binging)

don't know why i thought you wanted to get into serious publishing of your work at some point...so i was wrong.

i thought pointing out the genres would help you decide if you wanted to stay within or explore beyond them...

as for why i wrote the note to you, in the first place. like i've said before. because.

you have a great weekend. i can see you've bounced back from the hangover, what with you arbitrating the joust of the week.



indie

Sorry to have deeved your head like that, Indie and if I seemed ungrateful - NOT what I meant, about the desire to get published that is. For poetry - not considering at the moment. For my comment pieces - Yes, that desire is there. Poetry too personal for me to share beyond here.
By defining the genres to me was a great asset and thanks for that. Bit like Degas and his blue period, if I should be so bold?!
As for the weekend, at a close now, was a quiet one socially, but a busy one with work.

The pints are sitting ready to be sipped any time you want. Bring your own brolly though. It'll probably rain...

Cheers,

Jen

oh jen,
the issues with a non face to face medium. we get misread immediately...no, i wasn't peeved at all, and didn't think your message was too long or anything: just a (and now how do i put this, without this getting misread) goofy high ball note inspired by the all night outer...in fact it brought a big smile to my face. i could picture you after a night of raccous partying, reading this, getting sentimental and typing away...so no issues what so ever, okay?
and not about the publishing bit either! it just helped me understand where your priorities lay, and that's just fine!
whew! got that one sorted out.
well, i've had a fun weekend!
so its now nose to the grindstone...
bye!
indie

and yes i was similarly touched that you were so touched about my note in the first place...
enough touchy feely!!
what was that sapphic thing luisa was talking of
indie

All the above: blame it on the weather!

Last comment: Yes, was a strange one though I reckon no harm, well I hope not, was intended! Kind of made me uncomfortable, though! Did leave reply.

SO - No more Little Miss Muppet!
More Miss Piggy with attitude!

Thank GAWD we got all that cleared up. Was feeling a bit silly. What's new there, eh?

Have a laughin' day, Indie!
Catch you soon muppet!