h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Completely dig the name. I was spacehopping and decided to pop in and leave you a note! Pleased to meet you!

After a week of trying to take over the world (foiled once again by those meddling kids!) bionicSlug returned home and found a note attached to his door.

"Towel for sale. Used but in near-mint condition. $2 or best offer."

bionicSlug had just finished reading Highhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so he was a motivated customer. "Wow, a towel! Just like the book said! And there is another note too... vote bioticSlug for pope? What is he plotting? I've got to stop him!"

After failing to stop bioticSlug from getting elected Pope, bionicSlug returned home once again and finished reading all the notes on his door. Eventually, he got to yours.

"Wow! A real hitchhiker, and he likes my name! I bet he has his own towel too! Wait a second... he said 'pleased to meet you' even though we have not actually met... that means he must be a time traveler. Neat! He must have met me in the future, travelled to the past (er, present), and got confused. Time travelers are funny folk."

Ach, foiled again? I'm guessing you teach or summat?

For pope? That could be very interesting. I might do that just to have a little fun...you know, start exorcising and baptising the heathen...completely randomly.

I am more than a time traveller, I'm slight demented as well...

A slightly demented time-traveling pope who goes back in time and baptizes random (and confused) people is just what the doctor ordered. I did some research and discovered that according to the obscure, fairly young, and unpopular Discordian religion, you are a pope (everyone is a pope, but most people are not Discordian saints).

Since I am a pope too, that means that I can foil BioticSlug's plot. Yay!

Wee, so much fun for a slightly demented time-traveling pope who goes back in time and baptizes random (and confused) people! What exactly are you confused about? I'll try and help, but I am in a permanent state of geeky confusion.

Ooooh, does that mean you get an army of popes?

Sure, you can have an army of Popes. Since everybody is a Pope, all you need is to form an army with people in it. You can even dress them like Popes if you want. As an added bonus, you will be able to confuse even more people with an army of demented time-traveling Popes going around baptizing random people.

As for me, I am not confused. Or, at least, I am not confused right now.

Muahahahaha, I suppose that's kind of twisted and probably sacreligious, depending on your religion, but I love the idea. Comma crazy, today.

Well, I am glad to hear that.