h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Jen and Fly were flabbergasted. In front of their eyes Poisson D'Or was moving like she was possessed by the devil himself.
Fly screamed 'Jen, do you think we should start looking for an exorcist?'.
'Yeah,Fly, I bet Sirtakiville is full of them! No, look at her - the moves are becoming slower'.
Poisson D'Or, now shaking and wobbling at an easy pace, opened her mouth.
'Don't be afraid, girls. Before I can dance, I always open myself up for - well call it a spirit- 'rhythm'. Once I become 'possessed' I am no longer able to control my limbs, they just follow the vibe. It's a trance like-state.'
Jen was still recovering from the shock.'So, how long will this trance last? No offence, but it's not easy talking when you move about like that. I'm feeling a bit nauseous.'
'None taken, Jen, in fact I think it has left my body now.'
Poisson D'Or now sat perfectly still.
'So, ladies, as I've said before, you are my guests tonight. I have to prepare now. If you two go to that little room next to that in which you slept, you can choose a nice outfit for tonight.'
The girls' eyes beamed with pleasure.

In Taramasalatania, Lady R. bit her nails. Just to be on the safe side, she put on a new hat. It depicted two praying mantises copulating,the male one already decapitated. This hat also had a mazed veil. She took it and neatly covered her face.

The first spectators of Poisson D'Or had started to arrive in Sirtakiville. They were let in and told to wait in the parlour by one of the two neighbours of the mayoress. This man, rather small, was called Passepartout.
Fly had chosen for the dress version of an aubergine. On her head she had the green crown and for shoes she had chosen black pumps. Jen preferred the broccoli dress and was green all over. Fly took a few steps back. Jen didn't notice.
Soon the two girls were called by Passepartout who guided them through numerous dark passages until they arrived at a giant ballroom. It was so splendid Fly figured the other rooms had donated space to this room willingly.
The place where the visitors had to sit was very cosy. Scattered all over the floor were thousands of red velvet cushions. Passepartout acted as waiter and brought them champagne, snacks, baked delights and cookies. The two girls soon mingled with everybody.
A sound of the gong announced Poisson D'Or was ready - candles were lit, incense sticks were now emitting a lovely perfume and everybody was waiting in suspense.
Poisson D'Or appeared and shined away. She was breath-taking!
'Dear friends, before I begin, let me introduce you to my musical accompaniment for tonight: The Banana Peel Orchestra!
(applause)
The leader of the band now began with a drum solo.
Poisson D'Or danced, jumped, sizzled, started with a salsa, merengue, tango, samba, rumba, lambada, wearing out various partners.
The second part of the show was reserved for the waltz,jive,two-step,mashed potato,fandango, and the public was invited to join in a polonaise. The dancing lady showed her fiery temper by kicking a partner on the head who had trod on her kumquats.
The people loved it and clapped their hands with all their might.
Poisson D'Or disappeared and Passepartout served coffee.
The dancer returned at last for the grand finale.
'Dear peeps, now for my pièce de résistance, please cheer my fellow dancers, the Bejeweled Burka Babes.'
(applause)
Poisson D'Or belly-danced like she wanted to shake off a fly. The starfruit thing on her belly twinkled, pearls glittered, diamonds shone.
The spectacle was overwhelming.
The public stood up and almost clapped their hands off.
The dancer bowed.
Passepartout handed out cookies. By the time he had reached Fly and Jen, only two cookies were left. Fly took the nutty one. Jen had no choice: the nougaty one was hers. She accepted the cookie and noticed Passepartout standing before her with the empty plate.
Then she saw it.

TO BE CONTINUED