h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here Fly took the walkie-talkie up again and pressed VOX.
'Hang on, Rich, just a minute!' Fly stood up as far as the cave would let her and walked towards the sack. She opened the barrel of port and filled 2 little cups with the spirit. Then she walked back to Jen, who hissed 'Sit down, I'm curious you know! Can Rich start now or has miss Fly other plans first?'
Fly, who was having trouble carrying two cups and the walkie-talkie, tried to hand one cup to Jen together with the walkie-talkie.
Jen snitched them rather roughly and so Fly sat down quietly.
'God, Jen, only giving the scene a bit of decorum you know'
Jen, not in the mood for this at all, pressed VOX, said 'Rich, we're ready now. Shoot!' and put the medium in between Fly and herself again. She was happy to have a cup of port, only she would never have admitted it.

Rich started now, without further ado.
'Jen, listen very carefully now. Monday (by now tomorrow) you'll turn seventeen. You know as well as I do, as stated by the laws of Taramasalatania, 17 means the coming of age.
Now, I'm going to give you a little piece of history. Take heed, because it is very important.
When your great-grandfather founded T-nia he crowned himself king. You know that. You also know he had a son, Benjamin II who had a son in his turn, Benjamin III, your father.
It was the custom for newbie royal seventeens to go on a quest. This means they went on a long journey visiting various people who were in the possession of letters. These letters formed a code, could be a word, clause or sentence. Let's take your grandfather as an example, Benjamin II. He had finished collecting letters and was guided by a tutor, like I am guiding you now. This tutor only had a list of people that needed to be visited. The last man that Benjamin II visited knew the name of a secret location. Benjamin II needed this destination to know where to perform the letter-game. He wrote down all the letters he had gathered on tablets and they automatically moved in the right order. He now had the code, all he had to do now was to write down the code again with invisible ink on a wall and a secret door appeared, which gave access to a room called the Cabinet. In it there's the Stone of Stones. It's not only a stone, it's also a stone list where the king - in this case Benjamin II- can write down ten people. These are the 'successors'. In case anything happened to your grandfather, the next person on the list would be king/queen. He also received a sceptre. The quest was a proof of courage.
Your grandfather returned to Titicaca Towers with the sceptre and he was now officially king.
When your father was born, Jen, Benjamin II went back to the Cabinet.
The funny thing about the Stone of Stones was, Jen, that once the names were written down they changed to 'carved' and could not be erased.
Unless one was in possession of a sceptre. Your grandfather had it with him. So he could 'change stones'. He wrote down the code again, swung the sceptre and was at liberty to make up a whole new list, with your father on top of the list. The ritual is this 2 names first - a pause of 12 hours - then the other eight. So far, so good.
Time moved on, it was your father's turn now.
Jen, you were born, and after he had brought Fly with him, he went back. Only...' Here Rich's voice faltered 'He had a mistress with him.'
Jen reached for the walkie-talkie and pressed VOX
'I'm not sure I want to hear this Rich'
'You must, Jennifer!'
Jen clung to the walkie-talkie.
'Jen, this lady who called herself Lorelei had a strong influence on your father. So, as I was saying, he went back to the Cabinet, persuaded by Lorelei to take her with him. Your father wrote your name first, Catharina came second.'
Fly hiccuped.
'Your father had written down the first two names and had to take the 12-hour pause. In the meantime Lorelei poured him Eau De Lethe. Do you know that, Jen?'
'Think I've heard of it. What is it exactly, Rich?'
'In Greek mythology the Lethe was a river in Hades, the underworld. When one drank its water, one experienced a total forgetfulness of the past. The brew basically has the same qualities.
Your father - mind completely blank and utterly intoxicated by now- went back for the other eight names, whispered to him by Lorelei.
They left, after a few hours Benjamin regained his sanity, only to find Lorelei and the sceptre gone.'
Jennifer stared at the torch and pressed VOX again.
'So, who's third in line then, Rich?'
A long silence ensued.
'Rich? You still there?' panicked Jen.
'Jen.. ehm.. your father and Lorelei... there was a child...'
Jen fainted.

TO BE CONTINUED