h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In front of Jen stood a sinister-looking old lady, clad in a black cloak, with a miniature playhouse in her left hand.
When Ben had closed the door, the old lady softly put the playhouse on the marble floor and slowly removed her velvet gloves. She stared firmly and sternly at Jen with hellish green eyes. Jen shivered.
Ben, perceiving it was up to him to break the ice, took his daughter's hand and gently led her to the old lady.
'Jen, Lady R. Simperley Simperley'
'Lady R., this is my daughter Jennifer.'
Jen mustered courage to offer her hand, yet while it lingered in the air, Lady R. made no effort of shaking it.Full of indignation, Jen was about to lower her arm, when it was snatched by a cold, wrinkly hand.
'Young lady, behave and do as I say, and we will get along nicely.', snapped the black lady.
'Do I make myself clear?'
Jen felt herself nodding in awe.
'Right. King Benjamin, can I prepare myself before dinner?'
'Sure, I will show you your room. Jen, you'd better fetch Fly'
Jen nodded and tried hastily to read some kind of explanation on Ben's features.
However, he averted his face and guided Lady R. out of the room.
The confused princess was left alone.

Later on, when Jen and Fly were heading for the Grand Central Room, Catharina was aiming quickfire questions at her friend. 'What can be the meaning of this? Did she really look that gruesome? What's in the playhouse?'
Jen tried to think it over and at length replied:
'Really, Fly, I thought I was greeting a bat out of hell. I don't know why my father is doing this. Time will tell... Oh, and that playhouse of hers had an inscription, something like 'HOTEL FORMICA'.
Fly smiled: 'Think my Latin sessions with prof Rich finally pay off. I presume the black widow may be dragging an ant farm around!'

While the girls entered the Grand Central Room, all guests had already arrived.
King and queen were sitting at the head of the table, alongside Brenda B.
The girls' seats were almost at the other end. There were senators, the Pond people, civilians, celebrities, Granny Yorke Yorke and her best friend Olive Marple. Fly and Jen were horrified to see their name cards next to that of Lady R. The latter stood ostentatiously behind her chair. She was still dressed in the long black cloak, only now to top it off, she wore a headdress in the shape of a giant ant carrying a sugar-cube. In her hand, there was the inseparable playhouse.
'Ah, young ladies, you're late! You certainly need a firm guiding hand. Now, sit down and you, orphan girl' - here she was pointing at Fly - 'fetch me that table over there, I need to put my playhouse somewhere.'
'That's not a table, that's Granny Yorke Yorke's walking frame!', yelled Fly.
'Don't contradict! It's not a walking dinner is it! She won't need it. Bring it to me this instant!'
Fly crossly obeyed. Having placed the 'table' within Lady R.'s reach, she could not resist touching her hat.
The construction wobbled and the ant's leg broke off.
Lady R. was furious. 'That's it! Off to bed with you! No dinner! And you too, Jennifer!'
'What have I done to upset you?', remonstrated Jen.
'I saw you killing that mosquito!
You animal tormentor! Isolation will teach you!
The quarrel between Jen, Fly and Lady R. attracted the attention of Ben, who immediately made his way towards their end of the table.

TO BE CONTINUED
SOON