h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, Tom Daley put a video on YouTube. In it, he talks for over five minutes about his life, mentions that he's in a relationship with a guy, mentions that this came as a surprise to him, though he was aware of it as a possibility, mentions that he's dated girls before and is still attracted to girls ("of course").

He didn't use any labels at all.

If I was asked which label best suits this self-description, I might perhaps say bi. Maybe even bi leaning straight, actually, though I wouldn't be sure about that.

It is, of course, no great surprise that Tom has received much praise for his courage in coming out as gay.

Hmm.

Labels: they can be tricky at times. And, it seems, bi-erasure is still a thing.

TRiG.

I was a little surprised (maybe even disappointed) at the "of course" but I thought it was a bold move (getting in before the tabloids give him a label)

I was thinking about it today and I'm quite sure that acceptance that sexuality isn't necessarily fixed and can be fluid can only be a good thing.

It was a rather sweet video though, and I liked it.

I was a bit confused and thought you were talking about JOHN Daley, the slovenly American pro golfer.

Now THAT would have been a surprising announcement.

I thought it was a bold move, too. He didn't wait for the press, but just dived in with both feet.

Sadly only scored a 1.5 from the Russian judge.

Yeah, the bisexual angle has been glossed over.

Fortunately, Twitter users are attempting to raise awareness with a series of TOTALLY ACCURATE bisexual facts: https://twitter.com/search?q=%23bisexualfacts&src=tyah

The totally accurate 'bisexual facts' on twitter, are rahter amusing
I think its taken a lot of people, (or perhaps 'just' society), a long while to get to grips with 'gay', and as yet, perhaps there is still a lot of misaprehension err, I mean misunderstanding, about 'bisexuality', and the true fluid nature of a lot of people's sexuality.... Well, even on nomenclature, Straight, Bi, Gay, doesn't really work that well, as its not long before one starts using prefixes or suchlike, to the various terms, to 'further define'... Its just a classic example of trying to neatly catogrise, as if we were in a library, something which isn't necessarily, for a lot of people, ever going to fit nicely in to an artifical created set of 'descrete' 'boxes'... I think a lot of people (not just hetrosexuals mind), find the notion of teh fluidity of sexuality, perhaps a little frightening... or just hard to grasp...
Even gay people I've known can be almost towards teh agressive, when confronted by someone identifying with a slightly more fluid level of sexuality...
"your just tryign to deny your gay",
"you can't be, your just doign that* to try and fit in with some notion of being 'straight'", and other rally rahter silly type responses...
Strangely enough, most of my straight friends, tend to be less err, 'off' about the idea of a 'fluid sexuality', and several just suggest a more suitable lavel is 'greedy'...

I don't see the issue. Shag who you want*, just don't scare the horses.

*Subject to consent and age of majority.

Exactly.... works for me...

I'm enjoying those bisexual facts.

Over at Ana Mardoll's, we had a bit of a discussion about labels and the difference between bi- and pansexuality (coming to the conclusion that there wasn't really one): http://www.anamardoll.com/2013/12/open-thread-jam.html#comment-1147849769. (Disqus being weird, it might resort the comment thread for you, or might not. I'm not sure why Ana uses Disqus instead of the built-in comment system.)

TRiG.

When I was young, I thought a bisexual was someone who bought sex.

There's quite a few entries in the Guide about labels, I know as I edited most of them

My favourite though is the Gender Pronoun Game, I love playing that

I play tha tgame a lot, without realising it, I think pansexual, bisexual, and... whatever else once shoes, they're all just the same really... ; on teh basis theyr'e useually not quit adaquat for most people I sort of gave in eventually, and just went with 'gay', to make life easier... which is, more-or--less accurate even if not 100% so... but it just made life easier... of course, people I know rather well, know something a bit differnt... Mix in to which, one's gender identity.... and there really isn't any chance err... for some of us, of ever finding a single label, but... labels are just labels... and who really* needs a label

What's annoying me is the people who are saying "can't we just all say we're sexual and leave it at that?" because not all of us are...

The most accurate label for me would be "more attracted to men's personalities and women's bodies, but all I feel compelled to do with either is cuddle"

I'm N/A.


While I know that my proclivities are firmly on the hetero end of the spectrum, I've given up even considering any intimate relationships sexual or otherwise.

Hi, i'm U6629129 -- and i'm an Alcoholic!

Oww! Wrong thread!!

I agree Malabarista - important to acknowledge asexuality too.

Well said 2legs. I like labels as a way to identify whether I have something in common with other people, but I am working on not worrying so much about labels and just being myself

I like to identify as transgender (which I particularly like as it is an umbrella term, so however I'm thinking of myself, the label still fits) but then that puts me outside of LGB, it seems...

I have some affinity with other people outside the male/female gender binary, but probably in the sense that I just like spending time with people of the 'same' gender as me, as do many people. I do know which way I am definitely romantically inclined, though.

My partner (playing the gender game, here... ) identifies as bi, in the sense that gender is not important, and I'm very lucky indeed to have found someone who learned my identity and also respects it. As a result, I'm not entirely asexual like I thought I was. To make life easier for other people, I would probably go with 'gay' as a label as well - not 100% accurate, but something I am more-or-less comfortable with...

exactly... I tend to use 'gay', just for conenience really... and its sort of broadly good enough, and just lets me get on with.... or perhaps, rahter, carrying on finding out, what I am... Life's all one big journey afterall.....; there's nothign to stop you getting out at one station, at a certain location, and then getting back on, and travelling a bit further down the line, or, indeed, travelling back on the line, or switching to an entirely differnt line, off in a totally differnt direction Clearly, though, and one thing which is very nice for us, in many ways to have in common, both William and I are, or at least have* been, 'Bi', (its a bit of a clue seeing as how he was first married to a femael, hence has a daughter) There's only so much time, mind, one really worrys about such time.... there's all kinds of other things to worry about... what to buy for lunch, where to buy coffee, and where the hooks for the ropes should go...

That's an interesting way of putting it, 2legs, the train station analogy.

I've always thought of sexuality as something like left- or right-handedness. Some people are right-handed and can do absolutely nothing with their left hand. Others are spread right through the spectrum to the equivalent leftie, including the ambidextrous in the middle. In the same way, most of us are somewhere along the sexuality spectrum between hetero and homo.

ahh, the left versus right hand is an interesting one too; well, for me, if no one else :

I'm right handed. Always was. To an extent, I still am, only.....

I've gotten more lefthanded, to the point where certain things that I should do right-handed, I not only can* do lefthanded, but find easier with my left hand, and virtually impossible with my right; I do buttons up left-handed for example, now, and find it tricky to do this right-handed yet other things I'm still very much right handed Is it possible to 'learn' or 'develop' being ambidexterious? hmmmm....
*trys to recall if there is any connection between his 'handedness' and variations in err, sexuality over the years* Nope... I can't quite* see any obvious corrylation bit a long shot maybe

Well... in some respects, another analagy, asides the train one, possibly even more 'direct' as it were; Just how my musical tastes have varied over the years, and continue to do so; yet, I rarely totally* lose interest in even some of th emusic I listened to when I was very young... same with books, to an extent... I might not enjoy the types of books as much now, in my thirty's, as when I would read them in my teens, but I can still have an interest in them... hmmmm.... Maybe my 'hetro' friends, who insist I@m 'just greeedy' are right afterall

This "identity" business is like that, though, isn't it?

It's often more about "How can I describe this person?"
than
"Let's hear what this person has to say."