h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, when's the article coming? Or have you abandoned hope of this fantabulous idea for excellent prose?

Hush now, or I shall have to kick your little butt.
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Guess what? I have an article idea! So there! And I'm not gonna tell you what it is, so you'll just have to wait and see! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! H a !

Now scared. Scared now. So, how's the idea coming along? Any good yet? I think I've run out of things to say... Ah yes, look at my userspace and my contacts' too. It's not all that bad... maybe...

You're always scared of me. It's a fact of life. I've already looked at your page a bit...sort of interesting...and yes, it's coming along fine. In fact I've almost finished. But you're still not finding out what it is.

So what is it then? Some sort of article about toast? Or sandwiches? Anything bread-related going on there?

Bread related? why would it be bread related? Please don't tell me you've turned into Talkie Toaster...by the way, I'm not telling you!

Too late! I now know what it is. How's the other article coming along, though? The one you had been planning for ages?

Only because I told you. So I'm still on top. And you know what happened to that "other" article, find the bin and woo! You've found it.

Oh, I thought that was a good idea. Ho hum.

Ho what? What are you on? Sometimes, even though you're wierd, I do worry for you...

So when's your breezy new article going to be instated on your fine user page you've got there?

There's no need for sarcasm...it'll be up when I get the last 5 I need...with no help from you so far...some people can be so rude...:}

Boing! Tarry here not, lest I whitewash thee a turnip! (I Exist solely to embarass all those whose names contain carpet)

For the St. Thriven's day is upon us and our hats are slimy with the custard pie of moronity and there is many a jilloping about th capital city of gittlestein. May thy bobkins never fall from the whiklon tree and may you forever have a full bush of matlocks.

I thanketh thee, Nick. However, I thinketh not that thine ramblings wert of any relevance to...well, anything. But I shalt not underestimate thine powers, O jolly one.

What art thine problems with those who hath the name "Carpet"? The carpet art a comfortable piece of modern invention designed to warmeth our feet on a cold day.

Nay! Not thee too! Perchance you hath been led astray by the vile acts of the man of carpet and fudge? Ok it hurts too much to think like that. The problem with carpet is that it is, well, carpet. I dunno, I just don't like carpet.

May be I shouldest be called Lightspeed Lino Fudge, perchance? Or Lightspeed Laminate Wood Fudge? Or even Lightspeed Stone Floor Fudge? Not as catchy, methinks. Back to thine article, Butterfly. Whenst be thou publishing it on t'internet?

How about LightSpeed Terracotta Tiles Fudge?

No, it won't work.

No, you're right. I like Lightspeed Lino Fudge though. Or you could change your name to something like Harrassment Panda or something.