h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello Carlyle

I read in one of your latest posts that you had the misfortune of coming across the Buffy movie on video recently. As you probably know, Bud, Xander and I are working on an update for the Buffy guide entry. I'm trying to write something on the Buffy movie (can't be avoided, I'm afraid), but haven't seen it in a long time. So, a few questions. Would you be so kind to answer them, if you can?

- How did vampires die in the movie? They didn't dust, right?
- Do Buffy and Pike indeed end up at the castle where the Slayers are trained?
- Is my impression correct that movie-Buffy is actually one or two years older than TV-Buffy at the start of season 1?
- Why do you think the movie didn't work?
- Anything you feel should be addressed in the entry?

Thanks a lot for any help you can give.

Nite Owl

Sorry Nite owl, I had not looked down my own page for a long time and had not spotted this post. I will try and dig out the movie and answer your queries.

Carlyle.

Thanks Carlyle, that will be most helpful.

To answer the questions. Vampires were staked and fell out of frame with a thumping noise.

The final fight took place in the gym at Hemery High, at the spring formal. Busty and Puke then rode away, through the Universal back lot, on a motorcycle that they must have stolen off someone as it was not the Triumph that Puke started with or the crosser that he had in mid film.

Buffy was about the same age as in Season 1.

There were several reasons why the movie was lacking. Primarily it was the fault of the vampires. They all played the comedy even to the point where one did a comedy dieing scene. As a result of this there was no menace in the bad guys so the thought of Busty protecting the world from Des O'Connor and Peter Kay had no credibility. The vampires could float in the air and spent a lot of time emitting demonic laughter which resembled Xanders clown in Restless, as much menace as Homer Simpson. Busty herself was large and cumbersome, had apalling dress sense and spent a lot of the time wearing multicoloured tights. Her prom dress was a travesty. She also dressed in cut off Levis and checkered shirt. The idea that this was the garb of a High School babe was way off the mark. They also drew reference to her menstrual cycle detecting vampires which was pointless, unexplained and un necessary. Need I go on...Yes. The high school bimbos were played like the Marx brothers. Most of the actors turned up, collected their pay checks and left. The fights were not well choreographed and did not have a believable outcome and the merry quips were delivered in unnatural pauses, a bit like stopping a bullet half way to its target to say "Duck". Busty said "Ha!" far too often. All in all, if it was a comedy it was not funny enough, if it was horror it was not horrible, if it was a teen drama...need I say it...not enough teen characters and no drama. The underlying script was almost identical to the style that we came to know and respect, but the delivery by SMG and TH was so much more convinced and convincing. The direction was average but the editing was painfully inept. I am trying to think of a good word to say about it and all I can think of is that it was a short film so the agony did not last too long. I do not think Kristy Swanson was the right choice. She is pretty enough but too large of stature. We had no Willow character and no background. I think I'll stop at this point as I am in danger of starting on a Willow thread...

Carlyle

Thanks, Carlyle, that's very helpful. Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.

Just a few things. You say movie-Buffy was about the same age as TV-Buffy in season one. The reason I brought it up is because I think it's one of the inconsistencies (and yes, I know, there are many) between film and series. I thought she was a little older in the film (because of the hubbub about the school ball, her being sexually active, and because KS looked older in the movie than SMG did in S1, if I remember correctly); but as old is equally inconsistent, since she should have been younger.

The ending with the castle was in the script transcript I checked, but apparently didn't survive the cutting room, and would have been inconsistent (sorry, can't think of a synonym) with TV-Buffy's reluctance to go forth and slay in WttH.

Difficult to get the age. I missed the first few minutes as I recorded a Sandra Bullock interview with Parkinson over the top of it, now there is an attractive and talented woman. The Marx brothers were preparing for the dance which they said was the last one that they would have together but then went on to say that the senior prom would come at a later date. She could have been a senior at Junior High or a sophomore at Senior High. Difficult to say. She certainly looked a lot older than SMG, and was much larger in stature. There was no indication in the movie that she was sexually active. In fact, that seemed to be a sub text in that Lobos was intending to metaphorically deflower her. There were references to her being "ready" to go to him.

I see. Apparently there are a lot of differences between the actual movie and the script I found on-line. That implied she had had sex with her early-in-the-movie-boyfriend (not Pike/Perry). Guess I got more checking to do. Thanks!

There may be innuendo or suggestion in the first few minutes of the movie which I did not have recorded as to her sexual status but from what I saw I would not have said that was the case. It may be that there was confusion between Joss Whedons intentions for the character of Buffy and the eventual movie. However I cannot face watching it for a third time to find out. No crime that I have ever committed deserves that kind of punishment.

C

Hi Nite-Owl,
The Buffy Movie is on BBC1 at 1135 tonight [UK time] Friday 13th if you can get The BBC over there. I seem to recall that some English TV is available in the Nederlands.

C...The white coats are coming...

Thanks, Carlyle

Yes, we can get BBC 1 and 2 over here (which is great, BTW. I watch more Beeb than Dutch TV, which is pretty awful in general...)

I have fed the beast that is my VCR and are now in possession of the Buffy movie. Maybe this will help me get over my writer's block on the subject.

And if I don't, would you please tell those white coats to save a space for me on their friendly ambulance?

Nite Owl

You will only need to watch the movie once to need the men in the white coats to rescue you. A padded cell and a srait jacket are a welcome relief.