h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have become obsessed with the idea that the lift in my office knows more about me than I ever will. Today it ignored my continued requests for it to come to the ground floor and instead spent five minutes sulking on the fifth. When it eventually descended, it went past the ground floor and stopped for another five minutes at the basement to make creaking and banging noises at me. Finally it arrived at the ground floor and spat out a jolly post trolley with a jolly postman who wished me a jolly good morning in a chirpy chappy sort of a way. After I had negotiated the trolley and had ensconced myself in the lift it took me to the fourth floor rather too smugly, I thought.