h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

On thread: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/F19585?thread=383495 BBC - h2g2 - A Conversation Forum (Posted in full because its easier for me to open a second window, drag from the url bar and drop after triple spacing from the line above.) When they did that to me, I counterattacked with a bolo machete I'd concealed in my bed. The screaming was delightful (and after all, they couldn't very well complain) but my assailant made good their escape. I got up a hue and cry and one morning, my assailant woke up with their #*!+% $&@$ stuffed full of clothes drier lint. My home turf in the Coachella Valley of southern California is an exceptionally tough neighborhood that way. True story. Which is where I'm tempted cite a number of favorite alternate universe stories, but must refrain on account of the revealing wild surmise embedded in some of them.