h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Have a jolly Hallowe'en.

Thanks, but that was yesterday.

Your side of the planet gets it wrong yet again.

If we're so wrong, how come you're a day behind?

Um... don't ask stupid questions. It's unbecoming.

Moving swiftly on: did you get trick-or-treated? Did any vampires fly down the chimney and try to suck your neck? Did you howl at the moon? (Or don't you have moons in Australia?)

Nothing's tried to suck my neck for ages. *sigh* Not even a bat.

There was a single trick-or-treat attempt - a small child on the way home from school, and still in school uniform if it comes to that. What an opportunist.

Halloween just isn't part of local tradition. Considering it has its origins in changing seasons and the onset of winter, that's undestandable. People look silly in spook costumes in broad daylight.

(This time of year doesn't do it for me anyway. Dad died six years ago on 30 October...)

"Nothing's tried to suck my neck for ages. *sigh* Not even a bat."

Hang on in there. (Upside down might be the best position.)

Did you give that schoolkid a treat, or send him packing? I had the same group of trick-or-treaters knocking on my door four or five times. They kept swapping masks and insisting they all had twins. Still, it's nice to feel that my gifts are appreciated.

I suppose it's the onset of spring for you, is it? Or do you still call it autumn?

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.

I'm afraid I just closed the door on the little creep. The door was standing open when he appeared, to let in some of the lovely evening breezes with the scent of Spring flowers... (Yes, it's called Spring. )

There was no way the cheeky brat was getting a treat out of me. For a start, there's no treats in the house. I could have given him a sachet of cayenne pepper or something, but I might need that later.

As for Dad - I expect he's used to it by now.