h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Mo

I read your entry in the pop-up discussion. Then went to your personal space. Have now read your introduction and a bit of the journal entry.

Alas, I have w*rk to do this fine sunday covered in snow from the storm last night (Denmark) and haven't right now the time to comment or ask.

But this entry will ensure that I can find my way back to your space.

Greetings
tartaronne

Hi there tartaronne!

Still digging out? I am ready, I am, I am, for warm winds and babbling brooks.

I like your heart also. I love finding out about the lives of other people and other places. It is really neat going to different ethnic festivals. Not too much is learned necessarily but the foods are always fascinating. This site has given me a lot of pleasure in a very short time. As I am going through one of the worst (mentally) periods of my many years this site and the people that subscribe to it have been a welcome escape. I feel blessed to have found such a wonderous site.

Thank you for visiting me. Please drop in when ever you get the chance.



Mo

Hi again

I'm done digging . But I have a lot of work to do. I am a freelance journalist and have a deadline of a 16 pages magazine tomorrow. I'll have to stretch the deadline a bit.

I have been working with this magazine and three other stories for a couple of weeks and during the weekend I couldn't find the creative energi to write very much.

First of all it was your mentioning of maybe being ADHD (or whatever combinations are used) and then the story of your life that triggered me.
(My bonus son has been diagnosed ADHD as a grown up).

I'm curious. Want to know and to understand.

It is a fantastic site, this. Actually I could spend whole days browsing, reading and discussing here.

Tell mere more about your bad time. I might be able to come up with suggestions - and empathy for sure .

tartaronne

tartaronne

Well as far as the ADD I think I have been that all my life. But not being hyper I was a day dreamer. Being hard of hearing and considering I grew up in the 50's when no one ever heard of ADD I was just a problem child. The reason I think I was ADD is when I worked for my second stepfather I found I couldn't keep my mind focused on the counts when mixing sand, cement and water. The water was not a problem because I could always hold back but I needed to keep the proprotion of sand and cement. I can't recall right now the proportion so I will make up one for explanation. Let us say the sand was three parts and the cement was two parts. So I would mix twelve parts sand to eight parts cement. If I had been smart I would have kept the smaller quanities and then repeat. But it really did not matter because once I go past the count of one I would get lost. I mean after dumping two sands I didn't know if I dumped two sands or three. I never told my stepfather because I knew he wouldn't understand. One other time I was in my early twenties I attended a church that met on Friday or Saturday evening. It was based upon the power within you with the belief in God combined you can overcome problems and succeed. Well, I was really into it but I could not concentrate. Before I knew it I was thinking about something not dealing with the speaker and I missed most of the speach or sermon. We still were a few years away from knowing about ADD, so when I asked Revernd Small why I couldn't concentrate he abruptly told me because your not interested. You cannot imagine how that hurt. I would get so frustrated I wanted to scream.
I was hard of hearing since around six years of age. And since no one knew, least of all me, I would be the butt of a lot of jokes. People who are hard of hearing tend to be paranoid. You think people are talking about you and you feel inferior and outcast. Knowing all that doesn't solve the problems. When someone whispers around you try to ignore it because it most likely has nothing to do with you but years of memories tells you differently and you crumble inside and you want to run. You want to yell. You want to find a box and hide.

I am glad your son has found out his problem and hope he has taken steps to aleviate the situation. I have seen people turn their lives around when properly medicated. I wish my doctor would understand my problem and treat it. But he is more concern about the stress the medicine might cause. I have elevated blood preassure and I ADD medications usually increase blood preassure if I understand it correctly.

In spite of all the above I mananged to live a somewhat normal life. It is just that I was also always in trouble. Mostly with management and I didn't have many friends. As much trouble as I felt myself to be I never understood how I was able to keep a job. But my current situation revolves around problems caused by my son, the discovery of the devastating brain disorder my wife has, and culminating in the financial disaster of having lived beyond our means with loss of a good portion of income. Mind you, I am not depressed. But for the first time in my life I am finding it difficult to do the things I need to do. For example, paying bills. Not because I lack the funds but because I am fearful of facing the bills. Once I sit down and get to doing the job of sorting and deciding which needs payment and make out the checks I am fine. But I have caused myself to incur penalties simply because I kept putting off doing what needed to be done in a timely fashion.

If after all that you still want to know about the last three years and the stress I've endured I will try to put it down in as chronological order as I can. Meanwhile I think I will try to copy this and enter it into my journal.

I hope you found the energy to get those stories and or articles going and on their way to completion. Can you share what type of articles or stories you write. Well, as usual I am past my bedtime. And then I wonder why I am so tired the next day!!!

My best to you my friend. And don't be wasting time reading this if you haven't got your work done. No sense in both sides of the world being out of flux.

Mo

Hi Mo

I've read your post but have to write my articles.

Just this: I think you cope and have coped admirably with the problems and conditions you have had to face.

I write about social matters. For a union magazine for pedagogues who take care of mentally handicapped and children whose parents are not able to take care of them - mostly because of their own problems: alcohol, drugs, psychiatric diagnosis - or because they never learned in their childhood how to take responsibillity or to care for a child.

I'll return to you when I've written my articles.

And yes, my stepson (bonus son) is on medication and it has worked wonders for him.

tartaronne

Hi Tartaronne
I like that -- Bonus son. When I married Bonnie she had three children from her first marriage. I adopted them. Then when the youngest was sixteen she got pregnant and Bonnie and I adopted him. So his half-brothers are his nephews and his Brother is his uncle. Life can be strange sometimes. But at least I'm not my own grandpaw. (Old hillbilly song).

So the beginning really is hard to tell. What I mean is I really am not sure when the beginning began. Three years ago my son Anthony was supposed to begin his freshman year or year 9. But from almost day one he started skipping classes or the whole day. When he was grade 7 & 8 he would skip school also unless I drove him to school. But grade 9 he would skip no matter what. Because he indicated another school would work better for him we got him into a school in another part of the city. He seemed enthused. He still skipped. My cousin Elaine died and I was planning taking to the funeral. She was the one who got him to use the nickname Tony. After her death he went back to being Anthony. Anyway, I found out in spite of what he was telling me he had been skipping again. Angrily I told him he could not go to Elaine's funeral. That night (1:00am) we got a call from the Lima State Highway Patrol. That is a town 80 - 90km south of here.The was pulled over for driving eratically on US 75 highway. He was driving to Cincinnati to the funeral. We ended up going to the funeral. Basically we were the only family members to see her in her in the casket. Her widower, Don, had the casket closed because he didn't want people to see her as she didn't look like she did when she had been in good health. She died of cancer.

Well that is pretty much the beginning. We ended up going to court three times. Partially because of the traffic ticket but mostly from not going to school lost his right to drive until he is 18. But the hell that I endured, from the court appearances, cost, his not going to school, and the fear that he would end up in a dedention school because I might have to file a unrully child complaint with the police, was hard to handle. Fortunately had an attorney to represent him courtesy of a cousin of mine and that may have saved a lot of time and possibly a lot more cost.

The second stage of my life going to the the dogs pretty much is the combination of my son continuing not going to school, my wrecking my youngest daughter's auto, my wife buying her another car, and finding out Bonnie has Pick's Disease. I'll get more into detail about this stage at another time.

The third stage is Bonnie retiring, living off credit and finding out unlike Sisyphus I could not keep pushing the rock up the hill. I began to find other things to do or just plain ignore the bills. I felt as if I was sinking into an abyss. I couldn't sleep and any problem that I had to address now seemed to make me weak kneed. Somewhere around this time my doctor put me on medication.

When I fill in the details of the third stage we should be pretty much to where I am now. I'm not sure. Where we are now is still not too pretty. I suppose that taking everything into consideration I haven't done too bad. But it is only because of my in-laws, my oldest son, and an old school chum helping me out at very crucial moments. No man is an island. Without the help that I received I would have been Atlantis.

Right now all of this is a situation. If I come off at any time sounding as if I am crying in my beer let me know. I am not looking for sympathy. I am just telling a story of what got me in the mess I am in today. And while I hope to get a grasp on the financial problems, and I am sure will be just fine, the one thing that know is I have to keep going because Bonnie is not going to get better and I have no idea what the course of her illness will take her. That is the rub. She has put up with me for 27 years and I will do everything I can to provide for her, make her happy, and keep her from having to be put into a "home."

I find it interesting that your writing intersects with Bonnie and me. Bonnie has worked a little over ten years at Medical College Hospital. Part of those years she worked at the childrens psychiatric wing as a dietician. Some of the situations she would tell me were amazing. How the hospital could justify some of the kids going back into their homes I could not fathom.

I currently work at a mental health / chemical dependancy clinic. We have one facility that is primarily mental health. One that is primarily chemical dependancy. One site is a women's residency for women that need to detox, And we have one site that deals with clients having anger management problems and clients that have been classified as sex offenders.

Well, I thank you for reading all this. Again, if I get too maudlin let me know. There is little worse than someone moaning and complaining how life has been unfair. I look forward to when you complete your assignments and you have the oppertunity to ask questions or make comments. I will try to include the good that has happened as well. Plus the occasional dip into the memories of things that have held us together these past 27 years.

Until then, be at peace, always eat your vegetables and don't wipe your nose on your sleeve. Now where in the heck did that pop out from. And as Jimmy Durante or someone like him once said, "Always leave them laughing."

Mo

>>Until then, be at peace, always eat your vegetables and don't wipe your nose on your sleeve. Now where in the heck did that pop out from. And as Jimmy Durante or someone like him once said, "Always leave them laughing."<<



(My rutine is: Remember to look to your left and right before you cross the street and change your underwear every day )

I think you tell your story without selfpity. And not a glimpse of 'whining about life being unfair'.

Facts are facts, though, and man is not a machine. Fear, anger and sorrow are natural emotions like love and joy. And I have recently learned to allow myself to feel sorrow and anger. Not to the extent that it annoys or harms other people - but to help me NOT drinking once in a while to set my penned-in emotions free.

You have been and are in a scary and sorrowful situation. And from what I have read untill now it won't get you down.

More later.

BTW: I'm female, 52, journalist, four kids including the bonus son - 31, 28, 18, 15 - three grandkids 3, 2½, 2. Married and been with my second husband for 22 years.

HI! tartaronne

I was married briefly around 35 years ago. No children. My first wife died of a brain aneurism. Bonnie and I have been married 27 years. I think I mentioned before that I adopted her children which is why there is an age discrpancy between our marriage and the age of the first three children.

Christian (Chris) Michael 39 married - daughter Allison 4 and son Alexander 3 months

Donna Jean 37 married no kids

Mary-Kay Lynn 35 never married - sons- Marquice 13, Andre 9, & Malique 2

Anthony McVety 17 at home.

I turn 62 the 24th. Bonnie is 61.

I do billings for a Mental Health / Chemical Dependancy clinic. I have been there almost 10 years.

We have two Boxers, Lady about 7 yrs. and Whizzer about 6 years. They were found wandering along a major expressway. Whizzer is a runt and the daughter of Lady. They are king size lap .

I would like to tell you a bit about . He hasn't attended school in three years basically. Right now he takes classes over the internet with the Toledo Public School. It is a new program to get kids that have problems attending school to graduate with a regular diploma. They are to use the classes at least 15 hours a week and can work at their own pace. They can "attend" any time of the day or night but asked to be on line for three hours. is intelligent, articulable, nice looking, and strong. He is quick with his hands and fast as a gazelle. Every spring and summer since he was 9 years old he has gone to a YMCA camp for the weekend to repair roofs.

We had Anthony with us since he was two. The first couple of years we played classical music tapes while he slept. I would sing a song every night and made up the songs to include the family and pets. His favorite was "Around the World in Eighty Days" theme. As he grew I played music from the 40's and 50's. He enjoyed the humorus songs the most. He can sing songs from the 40's through 70's. He likes the Eagles, Queen, Elvis, Beatles and the more current rap and hip-hop. He is into black music as it gives him his identity. His biological father is black. He has never met his biological father. He did express interest once a couple of years ago and I told him I would set it up. But the man wasn't interested and didn't pursue it.

Going back to my "story." About eight months after the funeral around November I think Bonnie's car was having problems and while we waited to find out the cost of repairs Bonnie decided she wanted a new car. We ended up getting a 2003 new Echo by Toyota. I tried to get her to wait and at least let me see if I couldn't get a better price using the internet, but, she was adament and she signed for it that night paying a lot more than we needed. Then about three months after buying the car I was taking to school. I was angry, there was a fresh whisper of snow over the ice covered street, and I was driving Mary-Kay's car which had ABS system. When I came to the end of our street I was going faster than I should and I tried braking by pumping the brake pedal. I slid the car onto the main thoroughfare and anoher car slammed into us turning Mary's car into a "V." ended up in the hospital but he was fine. The accident knocked the air out of him was all. Mary-Kay had let her insurance lapse but fortunately my insurance covered the damages. Well Bonnie took Mary out looking for a car. Found one only four years old but they wouldn't take Mary's signature so Bonnie "bought' the car and I had to come up with about 5,700 kroner ($1,000.00 USD) downpayment. Since then I have been paying the insurance oh her car and our car. A couple of times or so, Mary got behind on the payment and the bank took the money our of our account. This led to overdraft fees, and bounced checks. Mary always replaced the lost funds but meanwhile I could not purchase food or gasoline for a few days. This was around a year ago last January. I could sense that money was going to be tight so I bought my current computer figuring if I didn't I probably wouldn't be able to later. I knew there was a possibility Bonnie might retire in September.

Then on the last day of April Bonnie went to work. I am not sure what triggered the check up but a nurse did a blood test and her sugar was sky high. They sent her down to the emergency room around 8:00 am and I came back from work around 9:00 am. We sat in that room until 5:00 pm. Besides the high sugar count Bonnie had a cold or other infection. During the examination they noticed Bon had a problem with short term memory. They asked me if this was normal. I told them I had noticed lately having to repeat things because she would ask where we were going or have we ordered our meal. But it had just started and I thought she was messing with my mind. Well then they got a neurologist in there. The doctor ran a battery of test and ordered a cat-scan. Bonnie didn't fare well with the test but the cat-scan indicated nothing out of normal. But I had to take her for an MRI and set up an appointment with a neurologist. Bonnie never went back to work. For the next seven and one half months we did not have Bonnie's income. We applied for disability retirement. Mean while what we couldn't get on my salary we got on a credit card. Come late December 2003 we got her first check. By this time I had us deep into debt and the money she got did help but we definitely were behind. Somewhere during this period Bonnie's two brothers could see that we were headed for trouble and asked me how much it would cost to pay off the car. They split the cost between them and paid off the car. So far I have not been able to pay them anything and they have never mentioned the money. The did this for Bonnie and I can see that they were showing confidence in me. By taking this preasure off of me so that Bonnie would not lose her beautiful new red auto I am expected to work out the rest of our problems. I could not hope to have better in-laws than the ones I have.

The next year our payments were late or didn't meet the minumum and our interest rate climbed up. The credit card that I relied on during the previous year wemt from 4% to 23% plus they tacked on late fees. Before I knew it my debt was climbing higher and higher and I wasn't charging any thing. Before too long the interest was up to 30% and I wasn't even able to pay the interest let alone the principle. Then last December Bonnie said someone called about money and left a telephone number. I called the number and it was a Consumer Credit Counseling Company (CCCC). I suspect one of our creditors was trying to help us out. I made an appointment and they set me up with a schedule where I pay them once a month and they distribute the payment amoung the creditors. They calculated how much I need to pay for our necessities and allowed some extra and the rest went to CCCC to apply against our outstanding debt. The part about all of this I tried to negotiate these type terms with our creditors and got nowhere. Now our interest is down to a 9 and 10 percent and if no major setbacks occur the next three years We could be fairly debt free.

This pretty much takes us to the current status. There is just a little more to the story where we are about to have our utilities shut off and the help from my oldest son and an old school chum saves the day.

But it is time for bed. Another work day you know. And I need to finish up a special project tomorrow morning so I can get back to my regular work. I am glad I enjoy my work as much as I do because with all I have been fighting mentally I would hate having to go to a job I don't like on top of it. Then I think I would really get depressed. This has been somewhat theraputic I think writing down all this. You have been a good listener my friend. I thank you. Good night.

One day my first wife's parents were telling me about a trip to Washington DC to see our nation's capitol building. They had miss guessed the amount of money they would need for the trip. An elderly gentleman hearing their discussion came up to them and told them the following advice: "No need to worry. You can sleep in the trees and eat the leaves and it's all free." Of course it was summer time.

Mo father of

Hi Mo :-) Again today I have to just read and then drag myself away from the site. Hardly any contributions to the conversations. I still have some articles to go. My layout'er is being very patient, as usual. I think you might enjoy Lil's Salon http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F38024?thread=587467 with your sense of humour and wisdom of life. I joined in the autumn. You could read for a while and then enter the conversation at any time. Each conversation runs for about 1000 posts and then a new is set up with a scribe, a resum� of the previous. Anyone is wellcome. Now back to work. See you tomorrow. :-D

...there are a lot of people in the salon, and I've been collecting facts in order to figure out who lives where and so on - you can have them for starters, if you are interested.

Hi Tartaronne

I did a quick look at lunch. I think it might be entertaining. I'm going to take a look for a while. Try to figure out the site as to purpose. I thank you. But my less than sophisticated humour makes puns seem as if it were high brow. But I enjoy humor. When ever I come across a newspaper I head for the comics right off. News is too hardcore without a run through of "For Better or Worse," "Get Fuzzy," and "Helen, Sweetheart of the Internet." Funniest thing I ever seen was when maw won the rhubarb pie eatin' contest and paw slapped her on the back in congradulations. She swallared her pipe whole. Bad thing about it - it were still lit. She tried to put it out by drinkin' from the jug. The 'shine caught fire and shot clear cross the room. Brother Jeb's been bald ever since.

Hey, next one is true story. My Aunt Dot called me up to come over. She had a problem with my counsin Don. When I got there she explained that a young lady, a friend of the family, had passed on to Aunt Dot that Don told her that he had smoked some grass. Well, these were the 70's and she knew I knew a bit about things like that. She was very upset. I told her to not get angry. You have to approach the situation camly and explain the dangers to the family. Smoking marijuana may not seem like a big deal but it is illegal and if he got caught mom could face some serious consequenses and the family could suffer. I told her not to worry, kids sometimes just like to check things out for themselves and Don has always been a good kid. She called me a couple of days later. Told me she started to explaing things to him. He stopped her and told her he didn't do any dope. What about the grass? He laughed and told her it came from the lawn and he was pulling his friend's leg. Now there was a kid with a sense of humor.

Mo

Still articles for four pages to go.

Two pages about a new museum for outsider art - right now it exhibits works from five different mentally handicapped artists.

Hopefully I will be able to write them all today. I really need a weekend without work.

See you

You go tartaronne

Everyone deserves a breather.


Mo

Drat. Missed you by 23 minutes.

It could be fun being online at the same time.

*Wonders what the time difference is.*

I'll look that up when my brain doesn't feel and work like cold porridge anymore.

I'm calling it a day now. Not quite finished - but nearly there.

It is 2:42 pm here right now and 8:42PM in your part of the world. I'm just sneaking a break at work. I get off at 5:00 pm (11:00PM) and usually on the pute between 8:00PM and 11:00PM (2:am - 5:00AM)

I see your eyes.

*Waves wildly*

Hi

Just looked back in - I see your eyes.

Almost as good looking as mine.

Hi tartaronne

I am out of her in 37 minutes, er 36 minutes. It must be 5:00 somewhere.

It's a thrill to meet your real time. Here it is 22.29 and around 16.30 your place.

I'm on my way to see the last of a film on tv, "The thin red line" -actually came into my 'workroom to play a little solitaire on the machine, check hootoo and then shut it down. Soon bed with a Dorothy Sayers book I've read a dozen times. My head is not up to new plots and characters.

Have a nice weekend.

See you