h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here I am, back again, having done just a few things to your entry:

Firstly, I made 'northernmost' one word, without a hyphen, since that's how I've always seen it and that's how Webster's and the OED say it's spelled.

I also integrated paragraphs 2 and 3, since I felt that they were discussing the same topic and so should go together. I did the same to paragraphs 5 and 6. I'm not sure, though, what to do about paragraph 4. I just left it on its own, since it doesn't seem to 'go' with any of the other paragraphs, but I have an automatic disinclination to have any one-sentence paragraphs. My little prejudices aside, though, there's absolutely no reason why it shouldn't stay the way it is, so unless you object, that's what it's going to do.

I didn't know what a 'carbine' was until I looked it up, so figuring that other readers might not know either, I put in a footnote with the Oxford English Dictionary definition of the word.

Please let me know what you think about these changes. Also, since I haven't heard back from you in a few days on your 'Training for a 5K Race' entry, I'd like you to give your final so I can return it to the editors. Thanks a lot!
EMR

It would be helpful if you would leave a link to the version you're working on so the writer won't need to do a search for it. The 'recommended' version only appears on your page. It shows up back on my page only after you're finished with it and it is given 'pending' status.

That being said...

The first sentence needs a subject:
Located at the intersection of US Route 30 and Knoxlyn Road outside of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, THIS MONUMENT is a five-foot high limestone pillar with a square cross-section and an inscription which tells where the first shot of the Battle of Gettysburg was allegedly fired.

As a side note, you might want to mention (perhaps in a footnote) that this monument is one of some 1400 in the Gettysburg National Battlefield.

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Your definition of a Civil War carbine is also way off. Buford's men were armed with Sharp's Carbines which were breechloading, .52 caliber weapons. Similar to a rifle, the cavalry carbine was shorter and lighter than its infantry counterpart.

You might want to check for any other related American Civil War entries. Jodan is working on a big project on the war...


- Jimi X

I am so terribly sorry about the carbine; I looked it up in Webster's and the OED and that's what they said. I, not being horribly good at guns, had no idea what it was. I have altered my definition now to agree with yours.

The recommended version is at A3100221.

I added the footnote about the monument being one of 1400; I also put in one more related entry, 'The British Involvement in the American Civil War' (A912386).

I'm returning your 5K race entry to the editors now, since I appear to have got your approval on the other thread. Just letting you know.

EMR

No worries about the firearms stuff. You'd be shocked at how few newspaper reporters/editors know the first thing about them. Which is why the Associated Press Manual of Style devotes so much ink to them...

Thanks for the edits!


- X

OK, I'll go ahead and return this to the editors now.

EMR