h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A husband and wife were fast asleep in bed in the early hours of the morning when there was a knock at their front door. The husband tried to ignore it but, moments later the knocking was repeated, louder than before. “Go and see who it is dear,” said the wife. “It must be important at this hour.” So the husband put on his dressing-gown and went downstairs to answer the door. He was greeted by a drunk who said in a slurred voice. “Will you give me a push?” The husband was furious. “No, I will not,” he raged. “It’s half past three in the morning and I was fast asleep in bed. Get lost!” And he slammed the door and went back to bed. When he told his wife what had happened, she was annoyed with him. “That wasn’t a very nice thing to do Peter,” she said. “Remember the time when our car broke down late at night in the pouring rain on our way to pick up th ekids from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man’s door to get us started again? What would we have done if he’d had told us to get lost?” “But this guy was drunk,” protested the husband. “It doesn’t matter – he needs our help.” The husband could see that he wouldn’t be allowed to get back to sleep, so he got dressed, went downstairs and opened the door. He couldn’t see the drunk anywhere so he called out, “Do you still need a push?” A voice came back from the darkness, “Yeah, please.” “Where are you?” asked the husband, still unable to see him. “I’m over here – on your swing.”

nice one

good wee joke huh lmao

hahahahahahahahahahaha xxx

lol pinky i thought u could do with a laugh

You know me so well xxxx Thankyou Tig xxx

hey jackie have you been watching the x factor on sat nights its like pop idol with simon cowell sharon osourne

I never miss it hahahaha haha THE TALENT hahahahaha You and me should have gone on there Tig Simon would have LOVED us hahahahahaha xxxxxx

hahahahahahahaha it would be more than a jug of water he would get

HahHahahahahaha a bunch of fives springs to mind hahahahaha xxxxxx And thats just from me hahahaha xxxxx

i thought he was hard on the lass in the wheelchair ,lol pearl loves sharon lol shes nuts

I love Sharon hahaha That wheelchair should have gone on top of his head !!! xxxx

Tig I'll catch you later and keep you posted on shirl xxx Thanks for the company xxxx I'm off for some sleep xxxx

hahahaha could do sonny n cher i got u babe hahahahahahahaha simon would love that lol

Well I think Simon would say >>> she's got talent but I can't understand a word your saying Sonny hahahahahahaha hahahahaha Love Cher xxxx

ock aye the noooooooo

Hahahahaha You see ? How do you expect poor Simon to pick us ? With your accent (and mine pet) hahahaha We're DOOMED hahaha Love Pinky xxx

Tig ,,TIG !!! Where are you ? I'm here but where are you ? hahahahahahaha As if I didn't know hahahahahahaha HIDING FROM ME !!!! hah hahahahahahahaha You'd stand a better chance of getting sunshine in Blackpool in the middle of March pet hahahahahaha xxxxxx