h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

ive been with for 10 years and he still doesnt know me.

thats just living together. i wouldnt marry him if he was the last man on earth and marriage was compulsory

This is me 3rd marraige...
Reminds me of a joke............

Woman talking to a friend... "My first 2 hubby's died of food poisoning, summat wrong with the mushrooms they ate.."
Friend.. "Wot happened to your 3rd hubby??"
Woman... "He died of a fractured skull..."
Friend.. "oh, nasty dear.."
Woman.. "Aye, the bugger wouldn't eat the bloody mushrooms...."

ive just bought a load of mushrroms dheap from the market.
they are the bigger ones, instead of the button ones i usually buy.

as i had so many, i made some cream of mushroom soup.
its quite tasty realy, but as its darker than the normal tinned soup, he wont touch it.

maybe i should have added some toadstools and force fed him

He must have heard the joke...

he is just a very fussy eater

I could have given a rude reply to that, but I wont...

im too tired to understand it anyway

Aye, I bet...

who told you i had been testing the bedsprings?

Biong said Zebbedee....

i had an audience????

Aye, ITV where filming it...
An Audience With Serenity...

would you like my autograph?

serenity

Oooooh please Ma'am....

it doesnt come with a blank cheque though

why not......it would match yer brain

and you should know, as you suffer from the same complaint

yes but i've got some ointment from the doctor for my itching.....what about you???? boing>

i was hoping that you would pass the cream on to me after you have finished with it.

im a skinflint

nah.....you'd only waste it on yer