h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Office Diet Gangs

Posted Jul 22, 1999

Dieters are starting to form wild gangs that roam in packs, usually in an office environment, pouring scourn on those that are "not counting their points today?"

I was not aware that eating was suddenly a competitive sport for which points are awarded. However, it is clear that there is some sort of universally accepted points tallying system that only gang leaders understand. The basis of the scoring appears to be that the more you eat the more points you score - SIMPLE!! The trick, however, is that this game is won by the one that eats least and that therefore scores the lowest.

In my opinion this means that eating has become a sport much more dangerous than Rugby or Boxing or even Bungee Jumping and Sky Diving. I believe that a world wide research campaign would reveal that more people die from not eating than from any of these other competitive sports.

So, let us stamp out this new gang culture right now before the competion becomes to fierce and casualties start to grow in number.

What does everyone else think??

 

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Latest reply: Jul 22, 1999