h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Damn it, forgot to recharge the cattle prod ... oh no, you've left me in the line of fire, come back ...

... where are you? It's cold and dark and I'm lost now with only an impotent cattle prod to protect me from ... THUD

Action taken. Awaiting response.

Response received. Mods have no objections.

Wasn't sure whether that was what you meant or not, Solly ... earlier, later or both?

My 22 and 23 above. Mind you, think the triangle was the wrong way to do it, 'cos that's about the post itself rather than the poster, though my text made clear which I meant. Must just try to remember the name and avoid if possible.

Must admit that I emailed the host direct when I thought I was being stalked; it was all oblique / innuendo but it needed to be monitored. Was much less mistaken than I had ever anticipated, in the final analysis; wonder if I'm therefore marked as a result.

Was it ever thus, and you just don't notice it when you're new?

Probably so, as you know I'm an innocent in a lot of these message board problems.

By the way, what exactly are the traits and definitions of these Orcs, Trolls, and any other trouble makers the names of whom I can't currently bring to mind?

Tricky. To the best of my knowledge orcs was something I used to Ewe as an indicator for a snippy character; I think they're known as wums (wind up merchants) in pooter slang. My understanding is that they are considered to be demi-trolls who potter along within the rules of the MB but are not necessarily civil, let alone pleasant.

Troll is an established term:-

Rosie linked this DNFTT at one stage: http://i1.tinypic.com/mr4osm.jpg

and I found this: http://curezone.com/forums/troll.asp

Try google or wiki for further info on trolls and pooter etiquette etc; ML references to spoons and wine gums are used as codes but I've also used 'hey diddle diddle' in that context and everyone merrily trampled over it!

Thanks for that. Some of those traits sound rather familiar to messages I've read on different boards. Certainly I'm starting to recognise one or two names which I skip past, typically on the QQ board, and others which I feel I can trust.

There's a huge difference imo between bad manners, nastiness and the sort of maliciousness that was encountered about a month ago (if you know what I'm talking about); if you want to see the first two in situ, check the astrology thread ... there is no good reason to belittle that which you do not understand / agree with but none of those posters are trolls, to the best of my knowledge. But some of them so qualify for the scroll-by grade of orc imo but you can't mitigate for what happens after you've posted.

Jont's script is excellent for flagging these things, btw.

Did you write some while ago that you're in N Ireland?

No, it's the burpdy girl who's in NI ... I'm in Kent (you're getting us confused!)

Ah, beg pardon. I've a son in Kent, a village not far off Folkestone.

No prob, I'm further west than that ... at Peet's Place I've listed myself as being in the beautiful Medway valley. I know that you're not round here because you said that you weren't going to be affected by the recent contaminated petrol crisis and anyway you use diesel; I know you are or have been near either the sea or inland water / river but not where?

Live in Sth Yorkshire, sailing from Hull.

Remembered part of a dialogue you had with Jez about sailing to Holland, and saw that you popped up on the rhino thread to ask Kaff when you thought she was actively involved with yachting ... my memory is lousy these days and I'm amazed how much I do remember sometimes! Do you sail regularly, and is it a lifelong love or the extension of a career? (Have never been and I'd be useless now, a liability or worse!)

Masochistic pleasure, nothing to do with work.

Dreampt of it since discovering a particular author in the junior school library, took another 30 years to start doing anything about it. Now retired can go when I like, out of season now though.

You'll have heard Leslie Philips in The Navy Lark? Arguably modelled on me, or would have been except he was 25 years before I started.

What's your passion apart from these boards?

Junior school library, eh? Lake district, maybe

I shall head for Radio 7 to create a solZ to match lilZ!

These days, sadly very little due to a combination of circumstances and dodgy health. Were both different, I would not have sold my motor bike and I would be out trying to find music to listen to, some choral singing and Irish dancing; browsing round antique shops; getting out in the fresh air. Would I like my life back? I should coco!

Yes, mainly Lakes, but his series also included two on the Norfolk Broads, two more around Harwich and one off of Scotland.

Yes, I had gathered some time ago that your health left something to be desired, sorry about that. We were both on two wheels in bygone years then, whilest you were on the motorbike I had a Lambretta. Happy days eh!

Regrettably I struggle with singing these days (listening, I never did any myself) due to a degree of industrial deafness. Some days I need to turn it up a little, other times I can't bear the noise. If two people are talking together I can't make out what either are saying.

I'm almost afraid to look at antiques or museums these days, the contents are part of our past life and the nostalgia can be so strong.

So to a degree we have many things in common in our respective pasts.

You see? I didn't know about the non-Lakes stuff at all (mind you, used to have a good time on the Medway when I was a kid, I know it's not the same but it was wonderful).

My biking career started just two years short of my 50th birthday: passed my test on a 125, first time after a 5-day course, and you automatically get upgraded to a full bike licence after two years; my timing was literally to the day, and 30 years+1 day after I passed my driving test. Five years of glorious two wheeling before I returned to Kent; really couldn't justify two vehicles so the bike had to go as you do need a car to live here. Were you a mod or was the Lambretta your pony?!

I have problems with tinnitus but it makes it very safe at night: the place could be burgled and I don't think I'd hear a thing. It or age also affects what I hear and how I hear it, so I know how you feel.

Also understand how you feel about many of the things that were interests, passions and pastimes before - it's a rum ol' learning curve, innit (two puns in one phrase, that's going some even by my standards!)