h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Real Disco Culture...

Posted Dec 22, 1999

It's a rare night that I spend with my friends out on the town, not because I don't like going out, nor because I'm lazy, but rather that my friends never ask me out anywhere and that I have barely any money at all. But when I *do* go out one thing always makes me sad.

I enter the hip little clubs, the dance floors awash with epileptic threatening lights and lung clogging smoke, disco balls spinning dolefully and garnered with a noticable layer of dust, and it occurs to me how different things are. Not that I should know, I'm only 20 and the years I yearn for have been and gone into cult movies. The things I hold dear to my heart, that hold some spiritual meaning are but fashion statements and oddities for the young people of today. As they donn their flares and platform shoes, an interesting novelty for their nostalgic youth, I wonder if they realise what they mean.

I watch young girls dance and bop in black flared pants, and I sigh to myself.

Flares, by principle, should not be black articles of clothing unless set off with some wildly glittery or colourful top or shoes. This principle is the Principle of Disco Funk.

I'm not talking about the trendy little rave parties, or remixed hits of old hopelessly cannibalized beyond recognition.

I'm talking about floortiles blazing with light as 6 inch platforms clunk along their flashing planes, men strutting their stuff in animalistic displays of their superiority. Open shirts and hairy chests adorned with fake gold jewellry, and hair either slicked back or grown wild. Flares were worn by the men primarily, but women were known to wear them with their little tops.

Women often wore long dresses past the knee, with string tops and large furry jackets. Glitter was popular, but was more of an accessory of the discos of the 80s - a completely different animal.

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