Journal Entries
The Artist Formerly Known As Mr Slug
Posted Sep 22, 1999
I changed my nickname. (Incidentally, I hate the word "nickname".)
It was Mr Slug, now it's just Slug. I would explain that it's breaking the bonds of patriarchy or something like that, but I'd be lying. Nor is it a need to assert my masculinity - I can do that by smashing bottles over my head.
I was just bored with it.
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Latest reply: Sep 22, 1999
Doctorin' The Goosedown
Posted Sep 17, 1999
I just bought a new sleeping bag, and I just cannot believe how you can get such an enormous thing into such a small cover.
The only explanation is that sleeping bag covers actually warp space-time. No doubt about it.
So the question is; why not use them for other stuff? Smaller luggage, desposing of toxic waste, hiding Shania Twain CDs - the possibilities are endless...
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Latest reply: Sep 17, 1999
The J Files
Posted Aug 26, 1999
They're out to get me.
I am developing a strange suspicion that the rich, famous and elite of this world are out to get me. Specifically, to run me over in their cars.
In the last year or so I have nearly been run over by a number of locally famous and prominent people; actors, musicians, journalists, even our Prime Minister. I haven't yet worked out why, but I suspect it has something to do with the way I constantly walk out into traffic whilst wearing headphones and not looking where I am going.
Has anyone else been victimised by famous people? The time to take a stand is now...
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Latest reply: Aug 26, 1999
Flying The Friendly Skies
Posted Aug 2, 1999
"I would never fly in a plane if I was friends with the pilot"
"Eh?"
"Well… there's an obvious conflict of interest"
"What?"
"Y'see, their objective is to get everyone safely to the ground. My objective is to get myself safely to the ground, screw everyone else. And it just may happen that circumstances arise where those two objectives conflict. I wouldn't want to put them in that situation."
"Oh"
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Latest reply: Aug 2, 1999
The emphasis is on coping
Posted Jul 28, 1999
Dealing With Life 101 - final exam:
"There is no point putting money in parking meters because the total amount of money you should put in will be MORE than the fines payable on the off-chance that you get caught."
Discuss.
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Latest reply: Jul 28, 1999
Slug
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