Journal Entries
Seti at Home
Posted Sep 23, 1999
I have a Seti@Home screensaver. For those of you not familiar with this
phenomena, it is a data processor disguised as a screensaver and uses your
computer's downtime to process radio signals recorded by Arecibo Radio Observatory
and others like it to aid in the search for Extra Terrestial Intelligence.
I have processed 4 data units so far, and it suddenly struck me that instead
of the Berkley Institute looking for signs of alien life, they might just as well
be studying the computer use and habits of homo sapiens... Instead of logging on to
the internet to download another block of data, I might be uploading the contents
of my harddrive!
How about that for a conspiracy theory? I must say though, if true, I admire the
beauty of it, and only regret that my harddrive is not more interesting.
Perhaps I should lay a trap - start downloading bomb-making plans from the internet
and creating documents outlining my plans for assembling an arsenal and attempting
a coup. How soon would the black cars and black-suited men arrive?
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Latest reply: Sep 23, 1999
A very blonde moment
Posted Sep 16, 1999
ID: A134966
You'll never guess what I did last summer...
Until recently, I was blonde. It was in this state, and none other, that I
drove my car into a swimming pool... Deliberately. I mistook it for a
parking space in the dark. The thing is, I was on my way to be
hypnotised to give up smoking, and it was the hypnotherapist's pool
I drove into. The car was almost fully submerged, just the exhaust
above the water which meant the engine kept running. As the front
tyres went over the edge of the pool I realised what was happening,
"%#!#", "##%!%#", "It's a $%@$!%$ swimming pool" I exclaimed.
First things first. I opened the drivers door so I wouldn't get
stuck. Then I looked for and saved my cigarettes (priorities). I
grabbed my handbag and then the umbrella that floated up to meet
me, these I flung to the edge of the pool. By this time the car was
slowly filling up with water and sinking to the bottom of the pool. I
launched myself across to the edge and out of the pool and
straggled dripping to the hypnotherapists front door.
He was astounded to see his 6pm appointment in this
state and checked the sky to see how heavily it was raining. After
some incredulity that someone could mistake his pool for a carpark
(not all that surprising really, trust me, really, honestly), he took me in,
dressed me in his ex-wife's old clothing and attempted to get the car
out with the aid of a tractor and his four-wheel drive with no success.
A towtruck had to be called, much to the merriment of the driver, and
eventually the car was hoisted out of the pool.
The car was dried out and primed up, and actually ran again - it is still running
now. Of course, the car had to be bright yellow, and was dubbed "Yellow Submarine" instantly.
Meanwhile I never managed to have the hypnotherapy and am still puffing away waiting for a
less stressful moment to book in again.
People are still reduced to tears when recounting this story, and the
jokes ranged from terrible "hey I heard you joined a carpool", moderate
"that's not what they mean by dipping your headlights", to inspired "at
least they managed to get the dipstick out in time"...
You may wonder why I would expose myself to ridicule by relating
this tale, and in response I say: something this funny has to be
shared.
I'm no longer blonde, in the hope that they may one day forget...
True story, not a word of a lie 
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Latest reply: Sep 16, 1999
Mels
Researcher U44615
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