h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Horribly neglected. I mean, honestly, it's like just because you can't get online, no one bothers to pay any attention to you. Well I'm paying attention to you, cause you're JJJJJ and I love you, but you're way not here enough. School is overrated. Hard school, at that. Are you mad? Come here where it's safe and senior year is damn easy. You can stay with me. We have an extra room. My family wouldn't mind. Seriously. They wouldn't. And you'd have your own room with more beds than I've got, and a whole mirrored wall.

When should I expect you?

Ohhhh! A WHOLE mirrored wall! Wow, I'm there!

Let's see... get tickets, pack, move out of school, abandon all work, fly to Florida... er, I'm thinking three weeks from Friday? How's that sound? March 17th a good day for you?

Hmm. Maybe a few day earlier, just in case. You never know when someone else may turn up in Florida.

If you can make the weekend before that, all will be right with the world...

But try not to make it the Thursday before, because I don't think I'll be home, and you may encounter difficulty if you arrive at my house, luggage in tow, and tell my mother you've come to move into the guest room. It will be much much easier if I'm there to tell her instead.

I had no idea all these plans were being made!! How about I come and live with you all too? I bet if we get enough people, it'll feel like a slumber party!

*starts to pack stuffed animals*

*nods emphatically* There's a trundle bed in the extra room, and enough room on my floor for the inflatable double mattress. And the chair-and-a-half in the family room folds out into a twin bed. And the couch in there's pretty comfy, and even the loveseat if you're used to sleeping small. And room for at least three in the living room.

And after my mother and my grandmother are sent to hospital for heart failure due to seeing one two three four five six seven eight nine ten... ten or eleven people coming up the driveway to live here, there will be room for two more as well!

And if some of you bring sleeping bags...

WOW!! It sounds like it will be an amazingly huge and vicious party!! Woo hoo!!

*shoulders backpack and warms up hitch hikin' thumb*

Er, Krissy, you wouldn't be able to hitch hike 'round here to pick me up, would you?

No? Damn! Gotta come up with a new plan...

I really liked that painted-bus-that-goes-round-the-world-and-picks-everyone-up idea, but I guess that fell through.

Ahh well, how I get there is not my major problem. The BIG problem is...

Do I take Sammy the Bunny, Bonaparte the Lion, or Luke the Teddy?

Well... it depends. Sammy sounds like he's cute, but probably unable to defend you against unwanted advances. Luke is a bear, but he's probably squishy and cuddly and anyway reluctant to leave the house because of all the Dukes of Hazard jokes. Bonaparte is kind of a stuffy name and it's affiliation with Napolion tend to imply a diminutive stature, but that could be merely a ruse.

I say Bonaparte would probably be the best all-around choice.

You don't have enough room for them all?