h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The trailers don't inspire confidence.

Mainstream media went nuts because LotR got 13 Academy nominations. Haven't they heard of "jinxing it"?

It will apparently be the biggest NZ contingent to ever head to the Oscars. One wonders if Peter Jackson has had his favourite purple shirt drycleaned, or if Armani does a line in shorts and jandals...

Black Hawk Down and Serendipity this weekend. I don't care what the reviews say, I want to see something lighthearted at the moment!

Can't you persuade your employer to send you to cover the Academy Awards ceremony? National interest, and all that!

If you need lighthearted, 'Serendipity' should do. It may be a bit thin in the story department, and sonewhat flawed, but it's kinda nice, and leaves you feeling good.

As for 'Black Hawk Down', I have avoided it. And I'll be avoiding 'When we were soldiers' too. I've had enough of this stuff - at leats, for now.

In addition to 'Ocean's 11', I think we have 'Ali' this week. I must say I'm wary, because it's hardly likely to be an objective portrayal.

Well, I did go and see Black Hawk Down anyway. I don't recall anything special about it - seems to fall into the same category as Saving Private Ryan and the subsequent tv series Band of Brothers. with its ultra-realism and "its-all-about-your-buddies" philosophy.

It was interesting that it started off with "Somalia 1992. Country was in civil war. There was chaos. The world could not standby, so several thousand US soldiers were sent in. Then there was order."

The ensuing action makes a lie of that. Then the US Army's finest get their collective a**es saved by the Pakistani Army.

Not the usual way these things pan out...

Hollywood history - a powerful educational tool.

How long before we get the September 11th and aftermath movie?

Not long, I think Jerry Bruckheimer is eyeing it up.

Much closer to home I'm waiting for someone to snap up the rights to the Steven Wallace saga. (search http://www.stuff.co.nz for info)

I'm thinking the Wallace family version would probably be called Reckless Confrontation.

A pro-police version might be Aluminium Nightmare on McLean Street (Aluminum Nightmare for US markets, obviously).

I'm actually looking up some of the Special Forces units in Black Hawk, interesting stuff. I see Delta Force has specialist support staff for finance...

Hmm, why not try your hand at writing the script?

Hasn't anyone done a 'Diana' movie yet?

There's been at least one TV movie to my knowledge. Oliver Stone would make an interesting Diana flick - playing up on Mohammad Al-Fayed's royal conspiracy theory.

I think Gwyneth Paltrow's "English Accent for All Occasions" could be trotted out one more time to play Di. Nic Cage is wacky enough to play Charles.

You'd need someone suitably crochety to play Prince Phillp, so I would pick Robert Duvall for that role. And there's only one actress with the credentials to play Queen Elizabeth II, someone who's already made a name playing Elizabeth I, not to mention Queen Victoria. Do I really have to say her name?

Have to give some thought to the casting of the Steven Wallace movie....

'Ocean's Eleven' was pleasant, without setting the world in fire.I like Brad Pitt, and George Clooney is ok. Julia Roberts was underused. A bit too predictable in parts.

How about Rowan Atkinson for Prince Charles?

With overtones of Blackadder no doubt.

Actually I was thinking of the lucrative American market in my casting choices...

After seeing what Shallow Hal did for Gwyneth Paltrow, maybe Nicole Kidman could "suit up" as Fergie (that's Sarah Ferguson, not Sir Alex Ferguson in case you were wondering)

Just thinking who would play Andrew and Edward? John Travolta or Charlie Sheen for Andy perhaps...

Edward is a bit more difficult - hang on, got it - Jude Law!

Back on the Steven Wallace movie, I'm thinking Tem Morrison for the accused Constable A and Judi Dench for Raewyn Wallace, Steven's mother...

Seen a couple of films in the last few days:

First up, 'Don't Say A Word'. Don't bother! Dumb plot, poor acting, complete waste of time.

More satisfying was 'Ali'. This is not a film without flaws, perhaps in part because there are too many people alive whose toes cannot be trodden upin, not least of whom is Muhammad Ali himself. So, the film was uneven. Too much lingering concentration on his romantic encounters, and far too much emphasis on the sound track. That said, Will Smith turns in an outstanding performance - gets my Oscar vote. The relationship with Malcolm X was handled very well, though I suspect that people unfamiliar with that aspect of our history will be a little confused. I think that much of the film as it is could have been shortened, so that it could have gone beyond the Rumble in the Jungle, where it chose to finish.

Didn't get around to 'A Beautiful Mind', which has received very mixed reviews here.

Ali is out in NZ this Thursday - the soundtrack is in the stores right now. The one criticism I heard of Ali that stuck in my mind, was that while the film notes all the important events, it doen't show how they affect Ali.

Well, two big surprises at the Baftas last night. LotR took home five BAFTAs last night and Peter Jackson actually wore a tux of all things. That latter item would be considered newsworthy even if he hadn't one. And it was good to see him get a big hug from Kate Winslet (the two being connected through Heavenly Creatures).

However TVNZ did the unthinkable and unceremoniously replaced Coronation St with the Bafta awards. TVNZ plays around with Corrie at its own peril...

Went and saw Spy Games and From Hell in the weekend.

SG was easily the better of the two. Cross and double-cross. Everyone watching everyone else. Joe Walsh. What more could one ask for? A perfect antidote to the plotless, stream-of-consciousness (well, river-of-blood-consciousnes) of Black Hawk Down.

While FH had a very good cast (loved Ian Richardson as the police chief), it seems to have been reduced to a simple whodunnit, whereas the original graphic novel took the identity of Jack as a given, and told a different story.

Also saw Antitrust and The Crimson River on video.

Antitrust was kind of like John Grisham for computer geeks. Tim Robbins was rather amusing as a Bill Gates clone. In fact I was amused by the whole thing, simply because it was so understated due to the geekish component - even the hired goons are computer geeks!

The Crimson River was surprisingly enjoyable, albeit not easily understood. Sort of like a cross between an Inspector Morse style detective drama and Lethal Weapon (at times). A little more gruesome than your average episode of Morse but still good fun - even when dubbed into English.

I miss Morse already.

>>That latter item would be considered newsworthy even if he hadn't one.

Errm, "even if he hadn't WON" rather.

I haven't seen 'Crimson River'. I didn't think much of 'Antitrust'. As for 'Spy Games' - I saw it twice. You probably know by now that 'From Hell' is not he sort of movie I'd watch, even if it were good.

I saw 'Twelve Monkeys' again this weekend. Two things I'd forgotten: Brad Pitt; and just how good the film is. I enjoyed it the first time I saw it, but very pleased I took the opportunity for a second viewing. Love it!

I'll be making sure I avoid 'We were soldiers' when it opens here. I can barely stand the trailer. Come on Mel; you can do better than this!

The end story on the mainstream tv news tonight was about a Kiwi who won an award for trailer making. He's just a beginner at this stage and his trailer was for a purely fictional film. Considering most trailers are misleading and contain footage that doesn't make it through to the final product, he should do just fine in Hollywood.

As regards Don't Say A Word, I'm afraid I already bothered. (Post 205)

Currently downloading trailer for Zu Warriors, looks like a lot of fun.

Looked back at your comments on 'Don't Say A Word'; right on the mark, especially about the silly added detective thread. My only disagreement would be about the girl: not at all convinced. But the whole plot was just no good anyway.

This week we have the 'Mothman Prophecies'. Definitely shan't bother, because it's not my type of film. 'The Times' gave it only 1 star (out of 5), and I have to say that Richard Gere is more likely to keep me away from the movies rather than attract me.

We also have 'Bully', which may be a bit much for me.

So, I'm more like to choose between: 'A Beautiful Mind', which I have doubts about; 'Charlottle Gray', which is a bit hard to tell; and, 'The Shipping News' which sounds worthy but dull.

I saw 'The Iron Giant' dvd last night. Charming!

"Superman!"

Ali made me want to see When We Were Kings again. In spite of good work by Smith, Ron Silver, Jamie Foxx and Jon Voight, it all seems kind of redundant to imitate it when the real thing is there in a documentary format.

Currently starring at Top Town Cinema 5:

Ian Holm - LotR & From Hell
Orlando Bloom - LotR & Black Hawk Down
Cate Blanchett - LotR, Shipping News & Bandits

Coincidence? I think not...

Still showing LotR? Impressive!

I saw 'A Beautiful Mind' over the weekend. Well, lots of gripes: firstly, the title is all wrong. Secondly, how can they possible put this up for an oscar? Thirdly, it really dragged in places. Fourthly, his story, even jazzed up, is just not interesting enough. Need I go on?

Saw yet another trailer for 'We were soldiers'. And the more I see, the more angry I become. No way would I go to see it. How about 'We were losers' as a title for a more honest approach?

I didn't manage to see anything else. When wil they release 'K-Pax' here?

K-Pax was at Hawera briefly a fortnight ago, but didn't attract me enough to make the journey down south.

Had some spare time this afternoon, so I went and saw Serendipity. Not a bad example of the genre, though I would have preferred a little more surrealism. The writers went out of their way to emphasise the interconnectedness of random events in the story, but it never really affected the world outside of the immediate story. That said the supporting cast wasn't bad. Eugene Livy was a real dag¹ as the Bloomingdale salesman.

Now, the subject of war films seems to have you riled at the moment. There seems to be a piece of the puzzle I'm missing, or I've just simply missed. Any particular reason, or just a general dislike?

I feel there was a footnote due somewhere in your last posting...

As for my 'dislike', it may have something to do with the continuing theme of glorifying our forces to the point of idolotry.

'We were wupped!' - I'll write the screenplay.

I fear you've been with the Limeys too long. I believe "We *was* wupped!" has the air of autheniticity you're looking for.

¹ Dag - 1) N. Odd or eccentric person. Implies a certain geekishness or uncool quality, often humorously so. As in "He's a real dag!" or "What a dag!"
2) vb. farming terminology involving sheep, will not go into exact detail in case you're eating lunch or something

Very much a Kiwi/Ozzie word is 'dag', and none more so than Kiwi icon Fred Dagg (aka John Clarke). Fred Dagg was an immensely popular character in the 70s, a keenly satirical caricature of the black singlet wearing Kiwi farmer.

Naturally like all great things Kiwi, John Clarke skipped across the Tasman to Oz and hasn't been back since. Very popular there too is Clarke whose satirical series on the behind the scenes preparations for the Sydney Olympics was a masterpiece.

Do a Google search and check out the Gumboot Song!

For a sample of the John Clarke wit, http://www.loan.echoice.com.au/pages/h_specagents_dagg.html

Apologies for the nostalgia trip - we now return you to the regularly scheduled rantings.