h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mr President, sir! Hope you don't mind this intrusion into your private residence, but Alabaster House was a little too daunting for me, packed full as it is with VIPs and more links than a chain-makers convention. We have a problem that might only be solved by those of great executive authority, or political muscle even. We had a thread, the *British English* thread, a beloved (and educational, entertaining and informative) home in those halcyon days before the BBC made an offer that TPTB couldn't refuse. There were zillions of posts to the thread (i.e. a number well exceeding 3000), and so many gems of wit and wisdom it's small wonder that the Beeb came gunning for us. Now, I'm not the suspicious type, you understand, and I hardly like to jump to conclusions however farfetched, but it has become apparent that the only possible explanation for the continued delay in returning our thread to us is that TPTB, recognising an earner when they see one, have been touting our thread around Hollywood, waiting for the moolah to roll in. We're not looking for a piece of the action, oh no - our aims are more noble, more virtuous than that. We simply demand the return of our thread - and, of course, 80 percent of any royalties. And we won't be fobbed off by 'Terms and Conditions' , because they simply don't apply to our thread. If you are indeed a wise and kindly leader, standing for justice and opposing tyranny, then I hope I can prevail upon you to send the boys around to sort out Mark, Peta, Abi & Co., with an assortment of severed horse heads and whatever else your majestic self deems appropriate. Of course, if you are merely a quisling tool of those very same people, all I have done is hastened my demise at the hands of paid assassins who'll not be deterred by a woman's tearful protests nor the promise of cappuccinos on the house. But no, I'm sure you are indeed a champion of researchers high and low (though I should poiint out that all the researchers who contribute to the British English thread and it's sequel, http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F19585?thread=100569&latest=1, are by definition *not* low, and we certainly wouldn't want you to waste your royal time on anything or anyone less than medium). Finally, if you prevail, you can be sure of my support should you decide to overthrow TPTB and take the mantle of Emperor of h2g2. Just don't do it on a Friday, because that's not a good day for me. Or Monday. And not the weekend, of course. :-)

OK, I'll go and prod somebody, hang on a few days and see if there's any result

Ooh, brilliant - am standing by for imminent adulation!

Hi.

I'd just like to endorse Kaeori's eloquent request for the return of the 'British English' thread.

I would like to point out that Kaeroi was too modest to tell you that she was christened "Thread-Mother" for the aforementioned thread, by a cohort of the regular contributors. She single handedly brought it into life with what may have seemed a trivial question, but was in fact the catelyst for an extensive world-wide discussion on the differences between British English and all the other varieties.

I believe the Thread is a unique and valuable addition to our present civilisation, and needs to be saved from its present stasis

I suggest the best way to bring it back to life would be to ask the editors nicely - either on their page or by email. You can find their pages somewhere or other... erm... try feedback or something.

Nikki-D - thank you so much for your lovely support.

President Peregrin - ok, I'm willing to give 'nicely' another shot, but now at least I can say "I've got a president in my pocket and I know how to use him!"

Thank you for your regal support. Please have the heavies on standby just in case TPTB decide to hold out for the Hollywood deal.

Following your regal advice, I have taken up my cause with Peta (http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F647?thread=135745). I hope you're happy with Dan Ackroyd, because I'm certainly not with an unnamed Eastenders player. Would suggest now is time to send suggestive fish-wrapped-in-newspaper, by way of warning to TPTB.