h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, maybe I'll ask Dr St J, since he's the one printing 'me' out...

It isn't going to matter. One slip or bribe, and there'll be hundreds of photocopies parading round the seedier parts of London, and I may not stop at the Houses of Parliament.

*waves*

Sorry I haven't said anything for such a long time... And I'm not even here to threaten mufflewhump-withholding for tomorrow...

How're you doing, Wumbe?

Ah it's yourself. I'm about to set off for another battle of wits with your bodyguard (so I'm a cert to lose). Why can't you hire some of JFK's exs or people of that calibre?

Ah'm doin' great enjoying my life of leisure and getting more and more like Mr Creosote evry day. It'll soon reach the stage when you won't need a bodyguard as I won't be able to grab anything beyond the bounds of my belly.

Must go and get ready, I've got a low calorie pint of lager stuck to my forehead and I can almost taste the lifegiving nectar.

Tell everyone I said hi, OK?

I'd say have fun, but I think you would anyway

*waves*

It's been a loooong time...

Oh, I just realized you may not have heard (And if you have, humor me, OK? I've run out of people to tell...)

I'm going to have a baby this July

And the little one has an h2g2 account already U211555 Yes, I'm , but we knew that already

What happened? Did your bodyguard turn his back for five seconds or was it a romantic liaison like with Whitney and Kevin?

Whatever it was, 'tweren't me, my motives for kidnapping you were much less honourable. If you blame me, I shall demand a papernity test.

Hmm, so we now have foetal researchers? Where will it all end? Researcher Olly Ova or Sammy ?

Now you really have ran out of people to tell. I'm always last to hear anything.

Believe it or not, the father's my husband

So how've you been?

Well that's a bit unusual about the father, but you never really have got the hang of the Californian lifestyle have you? Are you sure you weren't kidnapped by aliens who impregnated you with the lovechild of Rameses II under a Venusian crystal pyramid?

I suppose you'll be A3-sized for the Edinburgh meet next month? It's a pity you're past the morning sickness bit, or we could have had a mass sympathetic pregnancy for you!

Seeing as you asked, I've been drowning in snot. I wouldn't mind so much, but it isn't even mine.

*decides not to ask...*

Oh, and as far as the first paragraph-

Not seen you in ages...

Of course, I don't often click on 'Who's Online'...

You're up a bit early, aren't you?