h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yay! Welcome to your new title. All of the bubsterland Empire will now salute you in the traditional manner...

*drinks a bucketful of margaritas and puts empty bucket on head*

Well, I've never been one to bump tradition.....

*downs bucket of margaritas*

*puts bucket on head and sits next to the Emperor*

*offers an Oreo stolen from the resistance*

Mmm. Oreos. I've always said, cookies taste better when you steal them yourself.

*wanders in in a bucket*

*slams into a couple of poles*

*sits down hard on the ground*

Your greatness? Anybody here?

That you, Mrs B?

Oh yes indeedy...but I can't see anything but shadow, metal, and my own body. Where might you be?

*begins to grope her way across the floor*

*encounters a stray oreo*

*crunch* *munch* *crunch* *munch*

*clang*

*gropes toward the clang*

*pauses*

*crunch* *munch* *crunch* *munch*

*clangs more urgently*

*clang! clang! clang!*

*crawls toward the urgent clanging more urgently*

*pause*

*crunch* *munch* *crunch* *munch*

*encounters a foot*

Milk!

*Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgghhhhhhhh!*

*sits up abruptly*

Information?

*ding! ding!*

*struggles into a standing position*

GOD BLESS SWISS TV!

*sees bubster out of the bottom of her bucket*

Oh THERE you are!

Do you have any milk?

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!

Milk, milk... there may be some on the puppies. *points at 2 small, shiny, upturned buckets in the corner*

You didn't even know we had a corner did you? It's new. *beams appropriately*

*ooos and ahhhs appropriately for a new corner and prepares the puppies to be crunchy in milk*

*quickly teaches the puppies to escape by tunnelling*

*on second thoughts, realises they already know how to do this, the scalliwags*

The best way for puppies to escape from a hungry bucket girl is for them to eat hot water jugs.

Hot water jugs: Puppies eat them.