h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't have anything scintillating to say, as I really don't know you, Emmy, but I've just developed a spontaneous (but powerful) bout of pity for your Journal and I thought I'd speak on its behalf.

Tell it something! Love your Journal! It needs you! Look how pathetic it is over there, quivering in the corner like badly beaten puppy. Least that's how I imagine badly beaten puppies look. But it's very sad.

On a lighter note, Floyd didn't eat my house, Floyd didn't eat your house, and life is, as they say when life has been particularly pleasant and agreeable, good.

My journal and I are just getting to know each other. Not quite sure I trust it enough yet to get intimate. LOL

Actually, I'm suffering from acute writer's block. I'm sure eventually I'll think of something.

Thanks for saying Hi!

Writer's block is no excuse. Journals are for writing gibberish and nonsense. You know, like Spar...

*coughs and scurries off back to her own journal*

You should read mine, or perhaps you shouldn't, it's full of rubbish

Help me, I've been struck blind! Can someone read this forum to me? Can't see a thing! At all. It's lucky I can type with my eyes closed, eh?

Strange boy

Very lucky. Very, very lucky indeed. I for one thank some higher power (eight for example) every morning as I fall out of bed.

Why would you say that you have just developed a spontaneous bout of pity for Emmys journal. I enjoyed reading it, and I can't think of why you would have said that.

Because two weeks ago, when I posted that, there was nothing there to read. I can prove it if you like. Check the dates.

Shee.

It's odd though. Far as I can see, there's still nothing in Emmy's journal. This, you understand, is not the journal. See?

OK, you're giving my journal an inferiority complex!

So I promise to attempt to actually interact with it. It's just so hard to get to know.

Hmm. I hate to be the one to point this out, but despite th passing of 10 weeks, your journal is still mind-numbingly empty. Nothing. No, nothing there at all.

Or have you hidden your journal away somewhere where people like me can't find it? I'm really not impressed.

Liar!

Perhaps she has a user page called "journal" and she puts them all in the forum there.

No... no, she's probably more cleverly titled the page. Hmmm.

We'll have to investigate this.

But how will we be able to tell if it's the right one? She may have set up a decoy, where she posts lots of things in the forum, pretending it's her journal, when really it's just a... erm, a decoy!

She's verrrrry clever, you know.

Maybe she'll give us a clue. Like tell us where her journal is. And if she does this, we'll know that wherever she pointed is most definately not her journal but a decoy, and we can eliminate it from our list. Then the next we find must be the true one. She can't have more than one decoy, you see.

We will find it, as long as we persever. We have to stick together on this!

*produces double-sided tape from a hidden compartment in the sole of her left shoe*

Ohhh... perfect!

Hmm, now how should we do this?

*tapes herself to JJJJJ*

Oh, that was easier than I'd anticipated.

Okay, now that we've got that settled, we'd better synchronise our watches.

Well, it's 3:32 PM here, how about you? It's 11:32 PM there, I know. Then maybe GMT. 4:32 AM okay with you?

*pretends to det her watch to that time, then just figures she'll work it out if need be*