h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

she says this is you, apparently

http://yerf.com/gilemega/foxpose.jpg

Ugh. There was programme about those grotesque muscle balls on yesterday. They always look as if they're about to explode.

I'm more of a Riff-raff than a Rocky Horror, I'm afraid.

PS: www.furrygames.com

whats that link?

A furry site. Some links to Furry RPGs, and an art area. There's also an (ahem) adult section, but it's (ahem again) members only.

ah, i see

BTW, does Cyb know about this thread?

yes

Did she really find out this image or are you putting words into her innocent mouth?

I was the one loking at websites, I turned the screen round and she said etc etc

Fair enough. As long as you weren't trying to get her into trouble

I would never do that...she knows my address

In the dea of night you'd hear footsteps outside your door, the sound of a safety-catch being removed and a low chuckling...

*tremble

Have you ever heard the joke about the Mad Monk?

probably, but please go on...

Ahem.

A young woman was driving through Europe to see her boyfriend. During the night, her car broke down and she had to stop at the side of the road. Luckily for her, she stopped near a monastery. The kindly monks took her in, fed her, and offered to put her up in one of the cells while she waited the three days the mechanic said it would take to fix her car.

She readily accepted their offer, knowing how much her presence must upset thir routine and grateful for the help.

As she was climbing the stairs to her cell, one of the senior Monks approached her and said:

"Beware the Mad Monk. If you should see him, you must tell him to go away. You simply must. We cannot be responsible for what may happen if you do not say those words."

is that it?

Nope, just breaking up the story.

So, she went to bed the first night. She had trouble sleeping on the rough bed, and could hear the clock on the landing ticking and chiming the hours. When the clock struck midnight, the door burst open and a man ran in.

He was wearing monks' robes, with dishevelled hair and peircing eyes. He locked gazes with her and bellowed:

"I am the Mad Monk! Shall I show you what I can do with my lily-white hands and my ruby lips?"

And the woman cried out: "No! No! Go away!"

And the Mad Monk left.

The next day, none of the monks would answer her questions about the apparition, and she was curious about it. For all the shock, he hadn't been unattractive.

The second night, she was tired enough to fall asleep, but was woken by the clock chiming midnight again. As she expected, the door flew open and the Mad Monk ran to the end of her bed and shouted:

"I am the Mad Monk! Shall I show you what I can do with my lily-white hands and my ruby lips?"

And although she was curious, she was still scared by him and shouted: "Go away!"

And...?

The next day, she was more curious than ever. She was missing her boyfriend, and the Mad Monk had a kind of personal magnetism it was hard to ignore. And this night would be the last chance she would have to find out what was going on. She half suspected one of the monks of playing a prank, or growing tired of his monastic vows, and decided that that night, she would see what he did.

She waited awake specially, counting the hours as they were chimed on the clock. At midnight, the door swung silently open and the Mad Monk stalked across the floor, cralwing onto her bed until he was only feet away.

He whispered: "I am the Mad Monk. Shall I show you what I can do with my lily-white hands and my ruby lips?"

The womans took a deep breath, and said, "Yes."