h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have heard tell of a place by the name of "Utah", which I tend to disbelieve. They speak hysterically of a lake of salt on which one can sit upright and of a race of creatures called Mormons. It is my conviction that if someone claims to have been to Utah, they have been taking part in a mind altering substance known commonly as "acid". This substance causes hallucinations of imaginary things such as lizards, demons, and Utah. Anyone who knows someone who lives in Utah is obviously just a very gullible creature who needs to be educated in the truth about Utah. People claiming to be Mormons are just like the people who claim to be vampires, except for the fact that Mormons don't exist.

I have been to Utah. At least I claim that I have been there. I have also ingested 'acid', but this was after the time that i claim to have been in Utah. Of course I do understand that that does not mean much, because the acid could have made me think that i had been there. If you know what I mean.

In any event, the reason I am replying is that Utah has always seemed strange somehow. I could never quite put my finger on it. But I think that you may be on to something here. Thanks for the ideas.

pink

this is the most rediculous thing i have ever heard in my entire life.
i have been to utah...i have never lived there but i have visited it once. i am a mormon. you seem to have the wrong impression about us because we are just normal people. you probably have friends who are mormon but you never bothered to ask. mormons are all over the place...not just in utah or the united states...but everywhere. Mormon is an odd term that only mormons really understand. some people when they hear mormon they think of polygamy but that is not true. it may have been like that once (before utah became a state) but not anymore. we could be called latter-day saints. we ARE christians (the name of our church is church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) ...not a cult as some tend to believe. i am sorry you feel so negative about utah...it is such a wonderful place i think.

Crazy Gal, it is clear that you do not exist and are just a product of my lunicy. Never the less i will take the time to reply to my imagination.
It's not a negative feeling i have for Utah. i just don't think it really exsists. i think that Miss Gunn will share my view on this point as well. i do however, think that it is, as you say, a wonderful place.
Now i must be going... out of my mind.

Pink

Why, i am shocked to think it would be possible for me to be of someone's imagination and that any moment now i could just not exist because that person had stopped thinking of me. any way...why would utah be a place so strange to you??? where are you from anyways?

I honestly can't tell you why Utah is such a strange place to me, it just is. I think it has something to do with the fact that it doesn't exist. To answer your other question, I'm from Ontario.

well, what if i told you Ontario didn't exist?

i don't know, why don't you tell me and see what happens.

Ok! Ontorio doesn't exist! it is a place created from some insane person's imagination. any one who thinks there is such a place must be insane too because it isnt real!

Goodness. I leave the reach of electronic communication devices for a bit and humanoids get hostile! Having never taken acid or been to "Utah" (whichever way you choose to say it), I would make no judgements whether a visit there would be a nice trip or not. It may in fact be quite likened unto what people imagine "heavenly", I just really don't believe in it. I find the entire idea somewhat beyond my suspension of disbelief. I have nothing against "Mormons" or "Vampires", knowing a few people who claim to have been the former and decided it would be more fun to claim to be the latter. More believable, I think. Gives one an excuse to bite peoples' necks, too. Example:

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!?"
"Oh, I'm biting your neck."
"Why do you think you've got the right to do that?!?"
"I'm a vampire."
"Oh! I see. Go ahead then."

Please accept my testimony that Utah does indeed exsits as I am writing this from said place. I Know it exsists and I have spent most of my years here. It is a strange place to be sure (you only need to read my articles about it to see what I mean). But it is aslo a place of surpassing beauty, if you look in the right places. Marv

Thank you, finally some one with greater patience than i...

Me Pateince? Never.

Surly you are...cuz this crowd is quite annoying...u gotta have patience to be able to even talk to them...

I prefer SAUCY to surly, honestly. And there isn't a crowd of me on most occasions, and I resent being called annoying. This is my page, is it not? Humph! I make no judgements on your state
of existance, aside of the fact that I will most likely never join you there. A trip to Utah would yield the most unlikely outcomes, as Marv has insinuated, and I do not doubt that you can see some of the most incredible, beautiful things whilst you you are on your trip. Alright? There! Now calm down already.

Your obscene state of pride is uncalled for. I'm assuming you didn't make Utah, or define the state boundaries between it and other states. Too much state pride is almost as disgusting as too much pride. And just to prove to you I've no ill feelings, I will write an entry on the state where I was born.

P.S. This site is about absurd definitions, psychotic assumtions, and so on and so forth, it tries my patience to deal with people who take every thing so damn seriously! Have fun! I'm not poking fun at you in particular and mean no harm by poking fun at your state. Ease off already!

Oh please... Make fun of my state. I do all the time. I do not like most of it. I like to say that southern UT is really extreme northern AZ. And I never take it seriously or else I would leave in an instant.

Danke schön, Marv. Danke schön. Mostly it was intended for the irate crazy gal

Well I am the one who lives here. Slag it all you want, just leave the southern half alone

Oh, I'll leave all of it alone. Caffeine is *my* drug of choice.

But caffiene is not a drug, it is a way of life!